Sunday 31 July 2016

SLIMBRIDGE AFC 1-2 WESTFIELDS: LIGHT-HEARTED MATCH REPORT BY THE MOWDOG...

Westfields Waders Humble Slimbridge Swans…

Slimbridge 1-2 Westfields

This was a strange affair, for visitors Westfields from the Midland League Premier Division, really displayed their strength, height, determination and attacking intent from the start. Slimbridge were muted and hesitant in many departments and yet, with more good fortune, the Swans might have prevented a loss. The guests deserved the win however, for they tested the two home ‘keepers on several occasions, were denied on the goal-line and struck the crossbar through Aidan Thomas. Slimbridge were less offensive, although one effort was cleared from the goal-line by Matt Reeve and replacement Sean Lawson’s late glancing header was off target. The subdued Swans were disappointing in truth and the visitors wrenched a hold on the game early and never really relinquished it, despite a number of substitutions being made. Two left-booted penalties, both conceded by left-backs, had restored parity to the game but a side-footed finish from a corner by James Febery won it for Westfields.
"LET'S TOSS FACING THE OTHER WAY, YEAH?"

GODS, THAT REF IS STRONG, HE'S CARRYING A FENCE AROUND WITH HIM...

A chap had retrieved a ball before the game started, he booted it high towards the dugouts from 20 yards left of me, misjudged his kick, yelled out “HEADS…” and I ducked instinctively, whilst looking into my camera and smacked my lower lip on the perimeter rail… Great start. Thanks for that… Looked like I’d been thumped by a drunk in a bar, or was doing an impression of a Spoonbill. Anyway, the game got underway with Westfields in the ascendancy.
THE MAN ON THE LEFT PUNTED THE BALL...

THIS RAIL PUMMELLED MY LOWER LIP...

What was surprising was that despite having a considerable height advantage, like storks and bitterns have over little stints and redshanks at the Wildfowl Trust, the hosts won the ball aerially from a few set-pieces inside the Westfields penalty-box, with Jamie Martin (he had to have a bird’s name…) nodding just over the crossbar from 16 yards and later latching onto a long kick, but not being able to head the ball over ‘Fields’ goalie Kieron Blackburn. Martin, however, spent much of the opening period in an ongoing scrap with visiting skipper Phil Plover, sorry GLOVER, resulting in medical attention for the huge Glover and a wrenching out of shape of Martin’s shirt, although that incident was interpreted as a foul BY Martin. The referee had to plead with both wrestlers to keep their heron, sorry, HAIR ON… Liam Orchard was poorly served on the Swans’ left but he was well marked on the day too by the combative Sam Rawlings and Orchard must have decided that it was pointless waiting until the fruit was harvested for a decent pass and moved inside, leaving the hosts with a lack of width on the left-flank at times. He did cut inside once but squandered his shot.
JAMIE MARTIN: A FRUSTRATING HALF...

"WHAT? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING..."

"YES YOU BLOODY DID..."

The visitors were certainly looking more industrious and eager, too often dispossessing Slimbridge and rushing forward through Rich Greaves and Jamie Molineux, who displayed a little frumpiness on occasions, rather like a frustrated bar-tailed godwit. Craig Jones, not the Bromsgrove Sporting skipper, central defender and boxer, was inventive in the Westfields midfield and his left-booted set-pieces were threatening, as he picked out colleagues at will at times, especially Aidan Thomas. A free-kick was nodded across goal by Glover, frowning like a great bustard (that really is a bird, sorry mate…) but Greaves lifted his header too high. Greaves and Thomas caused more mayhem, Jamie Molineux sent a great cross beyond the far stick, Glover bundled a centre over the cross-beam and then nippy wide-man Sidric Grant fell over Adam Mace’s challenge to win a spot-kick. Jones despatched it into the bottom right corner of the net, although 'keeper Luke Merchant almost reached it. After Jones had sniped his penalty, Thomas began to realise that it wasn’t his day. First, the home ‘keeper Luke Merchant, no rover from goal, could only watch as Jamie Molineux’s cross found the unmarked Thomas at the left post but his shot lashed into the side-rigging near the angle of bar and upright, as if a particularly lively coot was thrashing its way out of a poacher’s net.
"COME ON YOU TWO, PLEASE?"

THIS IS GETTING TEDIOUS...

GOAL FOR CRAIG 'WHITE BOOTS' JONES...

Thomas came closer when Merchant beat out his shot but his under-hit rebound was comfortably dealt with on his goal-line by Adam Mace, who performed well in defence and offense for the hosts, his solid shaft topped by a heavy head after this defeat… Half-time arrived with me wondering whether the Swans would, or could actually shake themselves out of their lethargy, like resting tufted ducks on a lake, despite the efforts of the lively Archie Haskayne and fellow midfielder Jack Oldham. Blackburn and Oldham both in this game? The bloke who stood with me had been a season-ticket holder at Blackburn too… What was going on? Anyhow, despite the efforts of those two, the Swans had failed to really threaten at all. 
LIAM ORCHARD IN POSSESSION...

ORCHARD LOOKS SO FRUSTRATED...

MORE TROUBLE...

Replacements livened up the second period and in fairness, the Swans hissed a little, rustled wings and began to fight, leading to Matt Reeve nudging a Lawson effort from his goal-line, following a downward header by Sam Teal, sorry TURL. This was another header won by Slimbridge in the Westfields 18 yard box, which had seemed unlikely. From this incident, the ebullient Jamie Molineux broke away for ‘Fields, was chased all the way by home replacement Ben Prothero but was denied by the advancing replacement ‘keeper Pete Davies, who beat away the shot. Molineux though, attempted to shoot again, twice, despite the presence of Jones and Greaves, who were unmarked for a few moments but Oldham blocked the first drive and Ryan Thwaite the second.
JAMIE MOLINEUX BENDS, AFTER MISSING THREE CHANCES IN ONE...

The Swans’ penalty came when Lawson’s back-heel, Tyler Brock’s pass and Nathan Payne’s move led to Sam Plane baulking him, he fell, embarrassed like a red necked diver and naturally the left boot of Mace shot the spot-kick to the right of Blackburn and parity had been regained. 
1-1 NOW...

GOAL FOR MACE...

A TASTY LEFT FOOT...

The alert Rawlings managed to imitate a shoveler, scooping Thwaite’s header from his goal-line, another aerial win by Slimbridge, remarkably, Mace then clubbed a shot too high, after neat feet had created his opening, Febery, like a great crested grebe after a lusty fish, dived low to concede a corner from a Mace centre and Lawson’s late glancing header skidded across goal like a lapwing making an ungainly landing. The visitors, though, always looked likely to add to their goal tally, Jamie Molineux’s indiscretion apart, for Jones benefited from a quickly taken free-kick and curlewed, sorry CURLED a good effort just round the left stick, Thomas hooked a right-side corner back into the 6 yard box, causing the home defenders to scurry around like harassed mallards and Grant clipped a none too ferocious cross-shot too near to Davies. 
"SNIFF MY BOOTS, MAN..."

After Jamie Molineux threatened again, a Jones corner was cleared and Thomas’ fine curling 19 yarder clapped against the underside of the crossbar but a fowl, sorry FOUL, spoiled any chance of a rebound strike. Greaves set up Thomas again but he was superbly denied by Thwaite, yet Westfields received their just reward from the ensuing Jones corner. Incredibly, in spite of their height advantage, Febery side-footed his finish from 4 yards, after wrenching Thwaite out of the way. Not quite an avocet but effective nevertheless. The guests then saw willing substitute Dan Polan shoot low past an upright and fellow replacement Matt Molineux curl an 18 yard free-kick at Davies, who parried it like he was batting away an irritated corncrake.  
1-2 & ALTHOUGH FEBERY IS PLEASED, JAMIE MOLINEUX IS MORE ATTRACTED BY HIS BOOTS...

FEBERY, SECOND LEFT, HAS WON THE GAME...

Still dominating, Westfields looked a tough wigeon to net until the finish and with Alvechurch, Sporting Khalsa and the emerging Coventry United in their league to contend with, there should be some fine matches ahead. Slimbridge’s Swans weren’t quite at the lake on the day, this was a small knot in their pre-season, but there will no doubt be a turnstone in their fortunes when they host Winchester City next week. Oldham and Haskayne were the engines, Lawson will doubtless start in attack and the defence, despite this loss, looks competent enough. Skipper Jack Twyman didn't shirk his task and Ed Major played a minor role too. 
"FOUL? NO WAY..."

Kane Kharki worked hard for the guests, Plane at left-back, wasn’t so plain at all but landed strongly in defence and with Glover a real power there too, the ‘Fields could be a bewildering team to play against this term. Good pace came from replacement James Baldwin in the latter stages.
"ANOTHER FOUL? NO WAY..."

Quote of the Day from a sideline:
“They don’t like bein’ bothered…”

I liked that.

TEAMS:

SLIMBRIDGE AFC:
Luke Merchant, Fred Ward, Adam Mace, Ryan Thwaite, Sam Turl, Archie Haskayne, Jack Twyman (Capt), Jack Oldham, Jamie Martin, Liam Orchard, Ed Major.
SUBS: 
Sean Lawson, Tyler Brock, Nathan Payne, Ben Prothero, Pete Davies (gk).

WESTFIELDS:
Kieron Blackburn, Sam Rawligs, Sam Plane, Kane Khaki, Phil Glover (Capt), Matt Reeve, Craig Jones, Sidric Grant, Richard Greaves, Jamie Moineux, Aidan Thomas.
SUBS:
Jamie Saunston, Ben Miller, James Febery, James Baldwin, Dan Polan, Matt Molineux, Sam Gwynne. 







    
   

   



SLIMBRIDGE AFC 1-2 WESTFIELDS: LINK TO 20 VIDEO CLIPS, INCLUDING THE GOALS AND THE PENALTY INCIDENTS...

THROUGH THE GATE @ WISLOE ROAD...

THE WORDS BELOW MUST BE OFFENSIVE...

WE DON'T LIKE WHITE VANS...

THE BODGING FINDS A RESTING SPOT BEFORE THE GAME BEGINS...

YOU CAN'T BEAT A MULCH-ROLLER...

PERSON SITTING IN A STANDING AREA...

FIELDED A FEW WILD SHOTS BY WESTFIELDS BEFORE THE GAME FROM HERE...

JUST BEYOND THE DUGOUTS WAS WHERE I STOOD.
ONE SKIED DEFENSIVE PUNT DROPPED STRAIGHT AT ME, WHICH I SHOULDERED INTO THE CONIFERS, CAMERA IN HAND, AND THEN CALMLY HANDED THE BALL TO A PLAYER.
SO COOL. SHAME NO-ONE NOTICED... 

THE EARLY BIRDS CATCH THE BEST VIEWS...

NOW THAT IS A BACK-DROP...
WEDNESBURY IT IS NOT.

THROUGH THE NET...

END TO END THROUGH THE NET...

NO ROOM FOR ARGUMENTS BETWEEN THE DUGOUTS...

THE GRANDSTAND...

ANOTHER BEARD.
SHOULD I GROW ONE?

SWAN-LIKE BALLET...

FOR SLIMBRIDGE, FOR ST GEORGE & FOR ENGLAND...

'ERE WE GO...

GODS! THIS COULD BE BLUES v VILLA...

THE PORTENTS ARE DIRE,
THE TREE'S ON FIRE...


Friday 29 July 2016

STRATFORD TOWN 7-0 COVENTRY SPHINX: LIGHT-HEARTED MATCH REPORT BY THE MOWDOG...

No Joy At the End of the Rainbow For Sphinx…

Stratford Town 7-0 Coventry Sphinx

Sphinx worked hard and bravely at Stratford but the difference in speed, guile and power between the two teams was evident even before a heavy shower brought a fine pair of rainbows to bear and Will Grocott subsequently edged his team ahead. Two more goals arrived before the interval, including a slightly harsh penalty but in truth, the guests had precious little to offer on offense, as Kieran McCalla and company found defending the movement of hat-trick home striker Richard Gregory and the threat of wide player Charlie Evans rather tough to deal with in the opening 45 minutes. Indeed, Nkosi Mzungwana, defending at left-back for Sphinx, was really up against it for much of the first period. Four more goals arrived after the break, including a brace by replacement Edwin Ahenkorah, who somehow squandered another chance too, which should be a contender for crazy miss of the pre-season, when from a few yards out and slithering on the ground, he managed to strike both posts, one with a grass-level header… Sphinx only really threatened in the closing stages, when home ‘keeper Niall Cooper made one save and then a header from a corner bounced wide of a post but both visiting goalies used were kept very busy until the end. The arrival of Ahenkorah, sounding like a New Kingdom Egyptian Pharaoh, would bury the Sphinx in sand and his two thumping strikes and powerful runs lit up the second period like the laser show at the Giza pyramids.
STRATFORD ENTER, STAGE CENTRE...

HERE COME DA SPHINX...

DOWNES KICKS OFF...

Apologies for any errors in the spellings of names below, or errors of identification, for I only had a team-sheet to work with. Good job I knew Kieran McCalla’s and Nkosi Mzungwana’s names from last season… 

A couple of runs by Sphinx forward Luke Downes were rare sorties by the visitors, although to be fair, his sidekick Liam Cairns won a number of jumping duels from long boots forward by ‘keeper Scott Dutton, so much so that the generally comfortable home defender Liam Francis soon handed over the aerial challenging reins to Guy Clark, allowing himself to pick up the pieces instead. A sensible chap… One hopeful Downes shot was blocked, he maybe ought to have been awarded a corner from another attack and following one smart run, he was fouled, received no free-kick and then chased home defender Jordan Cullinane-Liburd, whom I ruefully thank for the excessive number of letters to type each time I must mention his name. The schoolyard argument was soon sorted out by the referee who did like to shout at people though, possibly underlining the school theme. Already a goal down to Grocott’s neat finish, the penalty for Cairns’ handling of a Jamie Sheldon corner certainly didn’t help Sphinx and when Mzungwana and Lewis Blackmore hesitated and Sheldon’s pass allowed Evans in for goal three, Coventry were all at sea, albeit near a river…
COOPER IN THE RAIN...

Despite dominating the territorial advantage before the interval, passing the ball quickly and making the opposition chase, Town hadn’t really caused Dutton too much anxiety, for Evans was unable to get any purchase on an early opportunity, the winger’s other shot was weak, whereas Will Grocott smacked a 25 yard drive wide and Cullinane-Liburd headed a near post Sheldon corner too high on 45 minutes, so it was left to lively left-back Kieren Westwood to test Dutton, following a one-two with the busy Grocott, which the ‘keeper leapt for and turned over his crossbar. The custodian dealt well with Gregory’s earlier angled effort too, after the forward, wearing the skipper’s armband had been set up by Cullinane-Liburd’s long pass. Gregory’s 26 yard free-kick pot-shot was scooped a good 4 metres too high though, which was interesting because Sphinx’s Downes lifted two similar second-half free-kicks well off target at the same end also. An American Football kicking coach might just have been impressed, however…
"HAVE YOU GOT MY MARBLES?"

'COME ON LADS, IT'S CONKERS SEASON NOW, ANYWAY..."

THE COACHES LOOK A LITTLE HESITANT TO GET INVOLVED...

Stratford’s laudable possession game had stemmed from a calm pair of central defenders, two quick and willing full-backs, a midfield of eager passers and with Evans wide right, Gregory had been free to roam, but Barry Fitzharris was a rock in a hard place, constantly providing the outlet for colleagues. Substitutions obviously changed the rhythm of the game in the second-half but Warren Brooks certainly brought some steel into the Town midfield, making three really harsh tackles and displeasing the official. He was effective though…
FRANCIS PICKS UP THE PIECES...

Apart from Downes’ two wayward free-kicks, Harkin’s header wide from a corner and an angled low drive by replacement number 19 in a red shirt, which Cooper advanced for and beat away, Sphinx were mainly on defensive duties and indeed, one of the best of his challenges saw Downes block a strong angled late effort by Ahenkorah, who had netted almost as soon as he had entered the Stratford theatre. Already 4-0 ahead, after Gregory had forced Dutton into deflecting an angled drive from the left behind the far stick for a corner, the skipper had then pounced to clip a half-volley past the goalie, but Ahenkorah capitalised upon a bad error by the Sphinx substitute wearing 18 to score and a short while later, smashed a fine strike high past the flailing arms of the replacement goal-tender, as well as missing another opportunity, which will not be forgotten easily.
COVENTRY ON THEIR HEELS AGAIN...

Replacement Yannick Gomez lifted an outside of right boot pass with consummate ease for Frankie Baigent on the left-flank to shove low across the penalty-box, where Ahenkorah stretched and nudged the ball against the inside of the right upright but as he sprawled upon the mid-summer turf, he saw the ball rolling back to him and so he somehow attempted to head it, face on grass, only to send it against the other post too… The ensuing scramble led to a drive well over the crossbar by Jarrell Hylton. Baigent looked useful at times on the Town left and nearly capped his evening with a late goal but his low cross-shot rolled past the far post. Westwood went close too, at the end of another incisive move by the hosts, which stemmed from a long Cullinane-Liburd pass, control at 20 yards by Hylton and a clever pass by Gregory to force Westwood between two defenders into a dangerous position, only for the young Coventry ‘keeper to advance and turn to ball aside for a corner.
DOWNES (10): TIRELESS FOR SPHINX...

It remained only for Gregory to complete his hat-trick, following a save by the ‘keeper from the tricky Logan Kelling’s shot but Sphinx, although well beaten, remained robust and worked tremendously hard, with Mzungwana looking better in a more advanced position after the break. Obviously, the weight of statistics was against them: several saves by their goalies, misses by Baigent, Cullinane-Liburd and Gregory, the fine block by Downes from Ahenkorah, the vast majority of possession throughout and the seven strikes which did count. A deserved win against a plucky opponent then and a useful workout for both camps… 
AHENKORAH: A DANGER...

THE GOALS:

1-0:
The rainbows above saw Evans slip Grocott into the left side of the penalty-box and his low, measured curled shot beat Dutton easily.
EVANS, LEFT, HAS SET UP GROCOTT'S OPENER...

2-0:
Gregory struck a penalty into the bottom right corner of the net, as Dutton guessed the wrong way.
2-0 NOW...

GREGORY'S FIRST...
IS THAT A POPE'S NAME?

3-0:
A smart Sheldon pass through inside-right freed Evans, as Mzungwana and Blackmore hesitated and the winger scored from a very narrow angle, just inside the far post, with a low, curled left-footer.
NEAT FINISH BY EVANS...

4-0:
A corner was cleared by Sphinx, Grocott clipped the ball across the 18 yard box from inside-left, right-booted, and Gregory timed his run perfectly at the far side, beat the offside-line and half-volleyed easily past Dutton.  
GREGORY AGAIN...

5-0:  
A defender was caught in possession 20 yards from goal, Ahenkorah fastened onto the ball and roared into the left-side of the penalty-box, before firing his rising shot past the replacement ‘keeper into the top of the net.
AHENKORAH TURNS TO RECEIVE A HUG...

...OR MAYBE TWO OR THREE...

6-0:
A long pass towards the left from defence freed Ahenkorah again and this time he bludgeoned his rising 15 yarder past the goalie’s hapless leap and again into the top left corner of the net.

EDWIN SLIPS HIS DENTURES BACK IN FOR THE PHOTOS...
(NOT REALLY...)

"NEED MY HUGS, MAN..."

"OH. OK, JUST THE ONE THEN..."

7-0: 
Kelling’s 20 yard drive was parried to his left by the goalkeeper but Gregory, always quick to sniff out an opportunity, was on hand as the ball bounced to smash it high into the left side of the net from the right corner of the 6 yard-box.
"WHY DO I BOTHER?"

HAT-TRICK FOR THE SKIPPER...
WHO WANTS HIS AUTOGRAPH?

Teams:

STRATFORD TOWN:
Niall Cooper, Jordan Cullinane-Liburd, Kieren Westwood, Barry Fitzharris, Liam Francis, Guy Clark, Jamie Sheldon, Trey Braithwaite, Richard Gregory (Capt), Will Grocott, Charlie Evans.
SUBS:
Edwin Ahenkorah, Frankie Baigent, Luke Fox, Logan Kelling, Yannick Gomez, Jarrell Hylton.     

COVENTRY SPHINX:
Scott Dutton, Danny Harris, Kieran McCalla, Marc Albrighton, Nkosi Mzungwana, Lewis Blackmore, Ben Steane, Chris Johnson, Liam Cairns, Luke Downes, Mitch Thomson.
SUBS:

Daz Eggleton, Joe Taylor, ? McArdle, Ryan Harkin, Chris Gumery.