AUSTREY RANGERS 1-1 CHELMSLEY TOWN: link to video clips is below...

CLICK HERE FOR 5 VIDEO CLIPS, INCLUDING BOTH GOALS

AUSTREY RANGERS 1 CHELMSLEY TOWN 1 (pre-season friendly): match report by The Mowdog...

Rangers Score Late To Deny Chelmsley Toon

Austrey Rangers 1 Chelmsley Town 1

This very early pre-season game was played in three 30 minute periods on a day when torrential rain was falling in Solihull, yet pleasant conditions prevailed at the neat set-up at Austrey, where the Chairman made me very welcome and the club displayed one of the best shelters ever... Chelmsley and Austrey worked out hard and several tough tackles flew in, although not one of the three 'keepers used was really worked hard at all. Ben Toon of Town struck the goal-frame twice and scored, whereas Rangers found creating chances difficult until the latter stages of the third period, when some of their attacking football was commendable, whereupon Michael Bloore regained parity with a low strike. Thanks to both sets of administrators for making the effort to sort out the names and numbers of participants for this report and I apologise humbly for any errors in identification which appear below!

Toss-time...

The opening third was competitive and although both teams wanted to pass the ball, the grass wasn't the shortest and the temptation to strike the ball long was often too great. Austrey fielded two number 7s and two number 14s, individuals being recognised by the colours of their boots, which was great fun. Chelmsley messed up an early free-kick and home forward Luke Tyler nearly beat visiting 'keeper Richard Anson to a through-pass but the best opening of the period came from Chelmsley, when a right-side centre found the head of Toon, whose lobbed header dropped over Austrey's goalie Louis Connor but slapped down off the face of the crossbar. Ends were changed, drinks were slobbered, there were only three entries on my Dictaphone and lots of people wearing different numbers entered the fray, so much so that we could have played a quick game of Bingo in the opening moments of the second third.

The end without a grandstand...

The ref tells the free-kick taker that he should be at the front if they are to be a pantomime horse...

Jamie Sporcic's neat feet conjured up a shooting opportunity but he fired past the right upright from 20 yards, with Anson stumbling towards his left post like he was falling off the bottom rung of a window cleaner's ladder and Michael Bloore, 7 in the blue suede shoes continued to be prominent for the hosts. The deadlock was broken by Town when a clearance by Austrey was headed left by Darren Coles to the lurking Toon, who turned inside substitute John Shannon and unleashed a fine cross-shot high into the far right corner of the net, with substitute 'keeper Dylan Rees helpless. Toon was then denied by a fine Adam Keeley tackle (7 not in blue boots), before Aaron Hughes (I think) drove a 25 yard free-kick over the trees and into the months of autumn for the visitors. A second free-kick from the same distance was commandeered by Toon this time and his well-placed effort clipped the inside of the left post and all of the 30+ spectators awaited a screen with graphics screaming the words 'No Goal' to appear. They didn't. Time for a break again then and the weather became even more pleasant, more numbers appeared on shirts, others disappeared and I wondered whether the Austrey Chairman was actually a member of MI6, confusing me, so that I would have to contact Bletchley Park's WW2 codebreakers to help me identify the protagonists. 

Is this Sporting Lisbon v Uruguay in disguise?
And where's Biteman?

Town's Toon looks nearly happy to have scored...

The third period proved better for Austrey, who began to move the ball more convincingly and Michael Bloore's right-wing cross was headed by Ryan Smith, as screams for hand-ball against a town defender were heard, the referee was unimpressed, the ball was cleared, nobody bit a defender's shoulder and the game settled down again. Neat play on the left by the more influential Tyler resulted in a cross, which was smacked back across goal by a colleague but the ball flew high and wide. The tall Smith for Rangers threatened twice more, as Chelmsley began to drop back deeper and threaten not at all but quite suddenly, as time ran out, a pass from the right flank found its way to the feet of the very useful Michael Bloore, he of the blue magic slippers and one of the 7s and he hesitated not, controlling the ball and guiding a low 10 yard shot into the bottom left corner of the net. This was proving to be the best of the three periods and the impressive home skipper Harry White was very close to converting a right-flank cross.  Sporcic's late right-wing flag-kick dropped onto tall home replacement Jacob Sturgess' boot in front of goal but the bounce flew almost vertically, negating the need for goal-line technology.

Ah, see the blue booties?

Michael Bloore has put the blue sneakers to good use: 1-1...

Chelmsley only managed a long clearance, which offered number 16, maybe Hughes, or maybe Steve Pike, a lob opportunity but the imitation of Sturgess' earlier effort was almost perfect and the ball flew upwards like an old fashioned Rugby League 'up and under', which was fielded comfortably by the safe hands of Rees in the home goal. Both defences had worked hard but obviously Toon was really effective for Town, White was strong for Rangers but the touches by Tyler and Michael Bloore were certainly noticeable and appreciated.

The game ended all-square, the players looked none the worse for the experience and I drove home to see a penalty-shootout between Brazil and Chile, although watching a live game in pleasant Austrey was far more enjoyable. Maybe that makes me odd, but then again, it's what I do...

28th June, 2014: a visit to AUSTREY RANGERS...

A new season for The Bodging and he's found a shed...

The Bodging hides in the Austrey grass...

Ah, the right place then...

One of the best shelters ever...
Love it...

I'm flaggin' up Austrey...

Neat set-up at Austrey Rangers...

Really smart facilities...

The caring Chairman of Austrey...

Summer topless dugouts...

Note the red executive box in the corner...

Ah, Lord Gel of Ravenstone has made an appearance, but he still left 5 minutes before the end to avoid the crush...
Hmm...

URINALBALL... LINEKER & LAWRENSON appear in a dream...

Urinalball

 

The urinal sat upon a pedestal

But Lineker looked rather unconcerned,

Celestial,

As a tennis-ball pounced

Then bounced

Into the bowl and spiralled to rest.

 

Lawrenson yawned at the concession

Of the three points

And Lineker grinned at the decision

To use me as a substitute,

A poet of such ill repute:

I detected derision

In Lawrenson’s grinding tone

And Lineker’s sardonic groan

But I fastened onto the ball with eagerness

And precision,

Veered left and steered a low drive

Into the very corner of the urinal’s curved base,

The offensive skirting board,

Earning applause

For my one point hoard…

 

My arms were raised like Andy Gray’s

In his prolific Aston Villa days

And the yawning man,

Looked on amazed

And the grinning man,

With features lame

Stared at this non-league blogger,

Who had changed the course of their Urinal game…

Pete Ray

 

I awoke at 03 50 hours, one Wednesday in 2012, fresh from the above dream. I guess that the Olympic coverage on the BBC channels and my previous evening’s entertainment at Coalville Town, where Bedworth United had drawn 3-3, had triggered the images.

The dream’s stadium appeared to be a kind of white tiled shower-room, the goals were urinals at each end, which stood on pedestals, with curved skirting boards jutting a short way from the sides. It seemed that when a tennis-ball was kicked into the urinal, three points were scored but a low strike on the skirting boards offered one point. Gary Lineker and Mark Lawrenson gave the impressions that they cared little! I awaited my call to enter the fray and scored my point with a low, left-footed strike to the right of the offensive urinal. My arms were thrown into the air; against my headboard, actually and of course, I awoke. I stumbled downstairs to sketch what I had been dreaming about. Maybe this three-a-side game will find its way into the Rio Olympics?

At least Team GB would be unlikely to go out on penalties…

MILLMOOR, Rotherham: MY FIRST VISIT, January 1971...

Rotherham United 1 Aston Villa 1

A long journey, a really muddy pitch, 12, 648 spectators and a chance for the visitors to go top of the league but the Millers really ought to have won the game, leaving manager Tommy McAnearney griping that he was as 'sick as dog'... Thanks for that, Tommy. Villa's boss. Vic Crowe, a mild Welshman, merely pointed out that his goalkeeper and one central defender had allowed his malfunctioning team to grab a point and get to the top of Division 3. Villa failed to achieve promotion that season, for their fine exploits in the League Cup took their toll. After winning a semi-final over two legs against Manchester United they fell, undeservedly, to two Martin Chivers goals at Wembley, as Spurs won another trophy with the 'year ending in one', as their famous club song's lyric would annoyingly underline.

The admission price for a seat in the grandstand was 50p, or ten shillings and I was thus able to escape the fighting between supporters before and during half-time behind one of the Millmoor goals. Villa's goalkeeper, the Londoner John Dunn, ex-Chelsea and merely adequate, who generally dived forwards like a shoebill stork flopping upon an African lungfish, was also known for his cigarette smoking and I once saw him stroll onto the pitch at The Shay, Halifax, smoking and noting the ash in one of the goalmouths, undoubtedly from the surrounding speedway track; ah, the good old seventies... He would be the unlikely saviour of a point for his team, making a fine tip-over save from Uncle Bulgaria, a.k.a. Rotherham's Trevor Womble before the interval. 

Womble apparently fouled the Villa 'keeper in the opening period and his subsequent 'goal' was disallowed but the custodian had already enjoyed a remarkable escape when ex-Celtic midfielder 'Pat, Pat, Pat Pat, Pat McMahon' had sliced the ball against one of his own goalposts, the rebound struck Dunn and the upright again, before the ball was bundled away. Just before half-time, Trevor Swift swooped with guile to head home Bentley's free-kick and the Millers led 1-0.

Dunn  wasn't to be quietened down however, for after 'Andy, Andy Lochhead, Andy Lochhead in the air' had dithered over two good chances for Villa, some steelman in the Rotherham crowd threw a 6 inch piece of metal at the Villa 'keeper. He didn't catch it, or even punch it away. He showed it to the referee though, like they were on an archaeological dig in the area and maybe the goalie was disturbed from that point, for on the hour, he hauled down Jimmy Mullen, like he was considering a future career in Rugby League with the old Wakefield Trinity. The goalie dived right for Dennis Leigh's weakly struck penalty, which went slightly to his left but Dunn was able to fling out a hand to save, the one not holding his fag, and then he scrambled about like a pig in a poke, foiling both Leigh and the ghosting-in John Fantham as a successful rebound looked a likely outcome. This flailing about in the Millmoor mire by his goalie allowed the likeable, reliable but not very extraordinary Fred Turnbull, Villa's centre-half, to scramble the ball away for a corner. That was Vic Crowe's turning-point.

Fantham then spooked Villa by heading a fine 63rd minute chance wide and the visitors duly capitalised three minutes later. Willie Anderson, a Beatle-haired, ex-Manchester United youngster, who tended to fall over a lot, took a free-kick, Lochhead headed the ball back across goal over Swift and there was Chico Hamilton to rise and wreck his blond hair with a header deep into the Millers' net.

The balding pate of Andy Lochhead nods the ball across goal and...

...Chico Hamilton heads the equaliser...

Brian Tiler, ex-Rotherham, leaps upon Hamilton...

Ex-Miller Brian Tiler then leapt upon the goalscorer, probably because he had been the victim of a tirade of abuse from fans who had once cheered him but it is strange to reflect that Tiler died in the car crash which caused Harry Redknapp such bad injuries, a number of years ago.

The pitch had been too heavy and too thick with mud to promote decent passing football but the Millers had dug in and assaulted Villa until the latter stages, when finally, Lochhead became a factor and home 'keeper Roy Tunks excelled, to preserve his team's parity. Hamilton and Bruce Rioch had been largely anonymous for Villa but I marked Tiler and Turnbull highest for the new league leaders, whilst Tunks, Bentley, Swift and Womble featured well for the hosts.

It is tempting to say that with a Womble playing, the match was littered with fouls, but in Common with Wimbledon, that was the truth, for some of the scything tackles witnessed that day would have ploughed some fine ridges in a local farmer's field.

That season, travelling mostly from Reading, where I was studying P.E. and earned the nickname 'Chico' from my London-based mates, I missed only the last six of Villa's away games in the league. Gods, I even went to Gillingham during the midweek after the League Cup Final, enduring a shocking 0-0 draw and I recall that neither 'keeper saved a shot. The programme for that game is now a collectors' item. And I have one... 

  

WEDNESFIELD beat ELLESMERE to win the WEST MIDLANDS PREMIER LEAGUE CUP FINAL...

CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO CLIPS, INCLUDING ALL THE GOALS...

Congratulations from The Mowdog...

ELLESMERE RANGERS 2 WEDNESFIELD FC 3: MATCH REPORT BY THE MOWDOG...

Meresiders Beaten In Pre-Froch Warm-Up Fight

Ellesmere Rangers 2 Wednesfield FC 3

(West Midlands League, Premier Division Cup Final)

Torrington, in Meera Syal’s novel ‘Anita and Me’ was based on early 1970s Essington, but I went there to watch a cup final between Wednesfield and Ellesmere on this last day of May. Oliver Ingham, a ‘commander’, once hailed from Ellesmere and in the 13^th century his daughter married the son of Lord Strange of Knockin, named Robert. Can you imagine the Lord’s wife’s rebuff when he felt amorous? “I hear you, Knockin but you can’t come in…” The top of the original motte of the castle in Ellesmere is now a bowling green and I bet some of the Ellesmere players wished they’d stayed home bowling after the way this game panned out. Wednesfield, once ‘Woden’s Field’, is famous for making locks, but also traps, from mousetraps to mantraps; I have mousetraps, rat-traps and a badger-trap at home, only as collectibles, I hastily add, but Ellesmere were certainly shackled by ‘Field skipper Daniel Carter, whose anger changed this match. A Wednesfield official told me he would be out drinking whatever the outcome of the game and would be, er, “Paraplegic…” Legless, I reckon, then…

The names of the players correspond to the numbers on the official team-sheets, which I photographed. I apologise for any errors which may have occurred by club officials! The following report is a light-hearted reflection of what went on at Long Lane…

An early sortie on the Ellesmere right ended with the ball in the side-netting, then Mike O’Reilly sliced a 35 yarder way off target, as the Shropshire men began brightly, with skipper Steve O’Reilly prominent. The stout and speedy Ben Sanderson, a bully of a striker, in the nicest sense of course, did well on the right and fed the eager Steve Dougliss inside but the Ellesmere defence blocked the midfielder’s shot from 19 yards. Sanderson continued putting his weight about, like a pillaging Viking and left Meresiders Josh Parker, who was impressive, and James O’Reilly floored on a few occasions. A Steve O’Reilly 25 yarder bounced several times before Wednesfield’s ‘keeper Sam Arnold collected it but the shooter was finding a lot of space in midfield, which Wednesfield needed to address. Another Steve O’Reilly shot deflected off Carter’s lunge and Arnold was forced to scramble across his goal-line as the ball rolled towards the left corner of the net but he clutched it.

Quick, neat passing by Ellesmere resulted in a left-booted shot from 20 yards by Josh Brown, which was powerful but passed the right post by two yards, knee-high. Yet another Steve O’Reilly drive from 25 yards forced Arnold across his goal to save by his left post and then, finally, Wednesfield threatened. A right-wing corner by Wayne Price was headed down towards the left post by the solid Carter but as Sanderson lurked, the ball bounced off defender George Carpenter and as Dougliss pounced, only a brilliant challenge in front of goal by Ellesmere’s Jack Griffiths saved the situation, stunningly. The ball flew back left to Carter, who lobbed a cross towards his defensive partner Rich Golding, whose glanced header was hammered first-time by Price, low from 10 yards but goalie Lee Davis held onto the ball well.

Ellesmere though, took a quick free-kick from inside-left and Mike O’Reilly passed to the wily Marco Adaggio, who ran behind the defence but the move eventually led to a pass across goal from the striker to Josh Parker and the Ellesmere defender turned and shot low but fairly softly towards the left upright; Arnold appeared to be put off by a defender’s lunge and he was slow to fall right, so that the ball squirmed horribly away from him and inside the vertical pole.

Ellesmere go ahead...

‘Field responded and Carter was the threat again, aerially, heading down a long free-kick, which Davis somehow blocked but as Price challenged for the loose ball, he was flagged offside. At this point, some lads appeared on my right and yelled at the Ellesmere goalie: “Shut up, you shell-head…” Odd that, because he seemed a good egg to me… Sanderson, less effective as the half wore on, bought a foul but Price’s free-kick from 25 yards was comfortably dealt with by Davis, falling right but then, from another set-piece, the ominous threat of Golding’s height reared its head and he nodded a deep free-kick downwards, only for Davis to react well to keep the ball out with his right boot and a superb tackle by skipper Steve O’Reilly on the hovering Tom Essex, who had been influential for Wednesfield, preserved the Meresiders’ lead. Scott Embery, who liked to stroke the ball about for ‘Field, although some of his work didn’t quite come off on the day, did manage a shot from 23 yards but he knew how poor it was himself, by his angry reaction.

The brief spell of Wednesfield attacking ended with a curled 23 yard effort by Dougliss but Davis took the head-high shot falling left and the interval beckoned, during which I trod the boggy area behind one goal and took my place to the left of the dugouts. The sun appeared for a while too, as the people standing behind the internment fencing drank yet another pint of camp beer each but we were all not prepared for such an interesting second period.

An early Wednesfield corner led to chaos but Sanderson and others failed to get in shots, as Ellesmere fought hard to remain ahead. Essex, always battling, won the ball from Sean Griffiths in midfield, a rare error by the Ellesmere man but Wednesfield also gave the ball away and Adaggio broke to attack on the left for ‘Mere, only to lift an angled centre behind the goal-frame. Martin Stanton was replaced by Ash Evans for Wednesfield, the over-zealous Dougliss was unsurprisingly cautioned for one foul too many and Ellesmere’s Ryan was replaced by Dave Howarth. Adaggio drove a 20 yard free-kick straight at the Wednesfield defensive wall, then a fine break by Steve O’Reilly led to a pass by Howarth and a low shot from the right of the penalty-box by Josh Brown, which caused Arnold a problem at his near post, who only just managed to fumble the ball behind for a corner.

The two substitutions which would prove crucial for ‘Field happened within moments of each other: Ricky Nicholls and Sam Giles replaced Bobby Glencorse and Essex and suddenly, the game was tied. A right-wing corner was won in the air by the lofty Golding, whose downward header fell almost at Giles' feet at the left post and he hacked it up under the angle of bar and left post for a dramatic equaliser. A strong Steve O’Reilly run and break faded to nothing for Ellesmere, Arnold beat out an angled effort by Howarth from the left and at the opposite end, from a right-wing corner by Price, Steve O’Reilly’s clearing header bounced off Brown for Golding and his low 18 yard effort was nudged past the left upright by the falling Davis.

'Field have equalised...

Incredibly, with ‘Field’s aerial dominance looking likely to prove fatal for Ellesmere, Adaggio broke clear onto a long booted pass, remained onside and as Arnold advanced, broke past the ‘keeper’s challenge, veered right and tucked home the loose ball from an angle, as Kieron Payne struggled to get back. And then the trouble started. The henbane seeds had worked their magic, as in Viking times and the wild fighters soon felt like they were flying…

2-1 to Ellesmere...

Mike O’Reilly had been getting advice from the sideline that he should go off the field, for he was injured but I heard the player reply that this was a cup final and he wanted to play his part. After the goal however, he went down near the half-way line, which incensed Carter, who surely didn’t realise that the Ellesmere man was indeed carrying an injury. The burly ‘Field skipper stood over the prone Meresider threateningly, causing a free-for-all, in which several peacemakers were abused physically and Carter was certainly an aggressor. Players were like the beserkers, Vikings who were so mad, they bit their own shields and filed the middles of their upper teeth, as a ‘thing’. The scrappers were ‘changing combat clothes’, meaning fighting, intending to ‘feed the eagle’, or leave the dead on the field of battle and I’m sure I saw Thorkill the Tall (Golding) and Eric Bloodaxe (Steve O’Reilly) wrestling players away to safety. Tom Essex, although substituted, was surely the Viking King Svein Forkbeard, with his hairy chin but one un-named substituted player assured me that Mike O’Reilly was ‘brain dead’, which was interesting.

As the skirmishing eased on the pitch, more scuffling broke out on the touchline near the dugouts then a woman ducked under the surrounding barrier and made her way to the scrum, being hauled back by someone who might have been her daughter; the girl dragged at the older woman’s jacket but she shrugged it off and piled into the melee, although what part she played, I have no idea. Two older men were made to leave the field however, by the referee, as tempers became as frayed as a political rally in downtown Cairo. Mike O’Reilly, whose deliveries from set-pieces had been inconsistent throughout the game, was sensibly replaced by Dave Easthope, probably to protect him from more pillaging by the opponents and the game started again, after Carter was cautioned. This punishment was hilarious, after the violence which had occurred, for Dougliss had been booked for a mere tackle, I recall…

Incredibly, with Carter now a striker for the trailing ‘Field, Ellesmere could have settled the game when Adaggio again broke, this time at inside-left, but after dispossessing Golding just 10 yards out, he fired his shot at the advancing Arnold, who parried well. Then from a short Ellesmere corner on the right, Howarth received a pass at an angle on the right but shot into the side-netting but then, suddenly, the impetus was with the desperate Wednesfield band again for one last offensive push. Payne knocked the ball across the penalty-box from the right and there was Giles again, capitalising with a low shot into the right corner of the net from 7 yards, with Easthope unable to prevent the shot. Carter slunk back into defence, preparing for extra-time… 

2-2 and Wednesfield sense a victory...

Then, in added time, Dougliss’ cross was cleared poorly by George Carpenter, straight to Nicholls and the replacement pounced, as Carpenter ran to close him down, but Nicholls dummied past James O’Reilly and fired a low left-footer into the bottom right corner of the net, signalling crazy celebrations, with the ‘Field manager prancing onto the pitch like a pantomime horse with its back-end missing, or maybe like a Bambi in a Babycham advert. I had passed a ball to Nicholls in the warm-up and suggested in jest that he ran onto it and curled a cross-shot into the top corner; he replied that he couldn’t reach the goal from there. When I reminded him of it after the game, he said: “That’s why I was in the box when I scored..!” Nice one. It doesn’t get more dramatic than that and the game ended with Ellesmere in total distress. Fair play to both sets of players for they applauded each other in the presentation section of the afternoon and guess who raised the cup? Yes, Daniel Carter, the serpent Mitgard, who encircled the Viking world… His inner self, his Hugr, had vanquished his outer persona, his Hamr and all was well in the Viking world of Woden’s Field…

The goalscorer is grass-surfin'...

...and Wednesfield have netted the winner...

Ellesmere? Man-trapped. The NORNS had conspired against them, those women who controlled the past (hopes of glory), the present (a terrible defeat) and the future (drunken misery) but maybe they too would leave Long Lane with long faces, a long trip home and a long booze to paraplegia… Vikings would bend or curl dead warriors’ swords, so maybe Ellesmere’s players bent their boots after this defeat… It’s what you do…

Teams, as far as I understood:

Ellesmere:  Lee Davis, George Carpenter, Jack Griffiths; Josh Parker, James O’Reilly, Sean Griffiths; Mike O’Reilly, Steve O’Reilly (Capt), Marco Adaggio, Scott Ryan, Josh Brown.

Subs: Dave Howarth, Dave Easthope, Alex Hall, George Durrell, Jay Stoker.

Wednesfield:  Sam Arnold, Martin Stanton, Bobby Glencorse; Kieron Payne, Daniel Carter (Capt), Rich Golding; Scott Embery, Tom Essex, Ben Sanderson, Wayne Price, Steve Dougliss.

Subs: Ash Evans, Ricky Nicholls, Callum Wood, Sam Giles, Brad Lewis.

...and the celebrations: