CHELTENHAM SARACENS 2 WOOTTON BASSETT TOWN 1: MATCH REPORT by The Mowdog...

Bassett In All Sorts Of Penalty Trouble At Saracens

Cheltenham Saracens 2 Wootton Bassett Town 1

Playtime...

The last Town player realises that the gloves lent to him by the Queen are still in his car...

The ref, left, tells the skippers that he has a really shit pea in his whistle...

The Town players wonder if their 'keeper has arrived yet...
Ah, yes, check the socks...

OK, and the wardrobe...

Kick-off time...

This was, for the most part, an ugly, scrappy game, with little creativity displayed on a pitch edged with puddles and soft mud. The hosts won it but in truth maybe a draw would have been a more deserving outcome from an unbiased perspective. Finding the car-park was as difficult for me as it was for Town’s goalie Steve Allison and his designated driver, who were as lost as I was, but somehow the two vehicles negotiated the retail parks of Cheltenham to find the ground, eventually. Allison actually wore the most luminous of green kits, which was more visible than the pitch under floodlights, to be fair, but he was unable to prevent his team from being overhauled and subsequently beaten, mainly due to the efforts of the only innovative player on view- Josh Swales, who might have netted a hat-trick, had his late effort not skimmed Allison’s bar. The referee struggled with whistle volume during the opening period, which was ironic, for the substitutes for the game included a Finch, a Walduck and a Chick; you just couldn’t make it up…

An early strike by Town midfielder Jordan Roberts was well wide of the target then a good centre from the left, right-footed, by Saracens’ Jamie Hammond was glanced well wide of the right upright by Leigh Rayson. Home striker Jordan Bryan chased Roberts to win back possession then passed to the left-flank and when a cross was cleared back to him, Bryan took a lifting touch before volleying just over the left angle of bar and post from 17 yards, right side of the penalty-box. Shaun Carter deflected a Leroy Odieri shot for a Saracens corner, which nearly brought an embarrassing goal for the hosts. Allison mishandled the flag-kick at the near post but was fortunate, for the ball bounced just past the upright off an unsuspecting colleague. The second corner was glanced well wide by Oliver, who was in a crowd.

Roberts’ left-wing cross was headed down by Dan Lardner but home goalie Adam Clark pounced, before the often ineffective striker Kalum Youngsam could react. A Lardner lobbed volley dropped over the home horizontal, then the referee’s diminishing whistle-pea whispered again, an arm flailed towards the middle and suddenly we all realised that home defender Thomas Short’s tackle on the running Lee Stevens had been deemed a penalty. Stevens took the spot-kick but shot for Clark to fall right and save with some comfort, although fair play to Clark for guessing the direction correctly. Allison dropped a corner at the opposite end but was saved by the weak pea again, pronouncing a foul upon him. Kyle Rigley’s short corner led to Youngsam’s drive from the right side of the 18 yard-area, which appeared to strike a defensive arm and the ball was hacked clear by Saracens.

Then Sam Ockwell’s speculative curling shot bounced in front of Clark and he fumbled the ball, tripping the lurking Stephen Yeardley as he attempted recovery and the whistle of a dying sparrow signalled another spot-kick to the visitors. Kyle Rigley, who had taken free-kicks already and shown a tough resolution in defence, stepped forward and tucked a low penalty into the bottom left corner of the net, with Clark diving the wrong way this time and unable to atone for his error. Another Bryan volley was turned into the Town net but an offside flag ruled out the score then Hammond’s shot struck a Town arm and Allison fell at his near post to prevent a corner but the linesman, ankle-deep in a puddle, decided it wasn’t an intentional use of the limb. An Oliver free-kick bounced in front of, but was claimed by Allison, after Odieri had been warned for complaining about the hand-ball incident.

Swales and Oliver shape to take a free-kick for Saracens, as the spooky official exits, stage right...

The interval was whistled like the official was wearing ill-fitting false teeth, the two replacements for Town made sure they didn’t hurt themselves and the referee borrowed a whistle, which he apparently deafened the linesmen with inside their changing room. Good stuff…

Immediately after the break, Saracens broke through the centre and the official practised a loud shrill whistle, terrifying the encircling gulls and forcing two trains to chug out of Cheltenham Spa station before they were due to, but the impish Swales stepped forward to tuck a low left-footer just inside the right upright to regain parity for the hosts. Hammond threatened on the left then, cutting along the byeline before stepping inside and firing low for Allison to beat out at his near post, with a defender hacking the loose ball for a corner, which came to nought.

A little playground trouble broke out soon afterwards and after conferring with an assistant, the referee cautioned Saracen Oliver, before the wily Ockwell, at the heart of most of Town’s better play, played a one-two with Lardner but fired a 19 yard left-footer past the right vertical. Hammond had been replaced by Deco Chick but it was Town who threatened, when Roberts’ right-side centre was miscontrolled at the left post by Lardner. Rigley was withdrawn and Scott Walduck was introduced for the guests, before Ash Hill replaced Short, shortening his time on the pitch of course, for the hosts. With Basset on offense, suddenly, Swales broke through the middle for Saracens and passed left for Chick, whose drive at the near post was finger-tipped onto the inside of the upright by the diving Allison, only for the ball to divert across the 6 yard box for Swales to convert easily and the three points, effectively, were Cheltenham’s.

2-1 and Swales takes a breather...

A Swales free-kick from the right evaded everyone and bounced just wide, before the scrappy game became even scrappier, as Town fought to avoid a loss. Liam Powell replaced Bryan, which made me wonder whether if my surname were Bryan, would I name a son Brian. Brian Bryan, now there’s a great footballing name… A low Swales cross, following a break and which beat Allison, looked a sure goal for the incoming Oliver, but a brilliant tackle by Adam Corcoran prevented a third home goal. A lazy pass out of defence by the visitors was then spotted by the ever-alert Swales and he made ground on the left, before cutting inside and firing an 18 yarder only just over the goal-frame. Substitute Powell was cautioned for rather a late challenge as the game ebbed away but the Saracens held on to clinch a useful, if barely attractive victory.

Players engage in a little train-spotting during a break in play...

Saracens’ Rob Joynes and Ryan Clarke had defended stoutly for the most part but with Town’s Stevens and Youngsam misfiring on the night, the hosts, with Swales very influential with his pace and trickery maybe felt that they had done enough to win. Certainly the elusive Bryan’s two volleys looked smart, if just off target. The referee of course took some real abuse from spectators at the end and he went home via a Tesco 24-hour store to purchase a new whistle. I drove back to Solihull on the M5, rather than via Studley but I enjoyed my evening at the welcoming Saracens club…

Teams:

Saracens:  Adam Clark, Thomas Short, Ryan Young; Ryan Clarke (Capt), Rob Joynes, Leroy Odieri; Mike Oliver, Josh Swales, Jamie Hammond, Jordan Bryan, Leigh Rayson.

Subs: Liam Powell, Luke Finch, Deco Chick, Ashley Hill.

Wootton Bassett: Steve Allison, Kyle Rigley, Adam Corcoran; Jon Aitkenhead, Shaun Carter, Stephen Yeardley (Capt); Sam Ockwell, Jordan Roberts, Kalum Youngsam, Lee Stevens, Dan Lardner.

Subs: Chris Baife, Scott Walduck.