COVENTRY UNITED 8-1 FC GLADES SPORTING: light-hearted match report by THE MOWDOG...

Glades In Shade As Clinical Coventry Bag Eight…

Coventry United 8-1 FC Glades Sporting

Oddly, Glades certainly weren’t seven goals worse than Coventry, whose finishing was lethal, with Tommie Maguire netting a hat-trick. The first-half was close but at 2-1, Glades’ striker Mitch Hodge ought to have equalised. He didn’t. Despite falling away after the interval, Glades still pressed forward, with midfielders Paul Bond and the smart Nicky Playdon leading the way but with Kobe ‘Kool’ Ntim in imperious form, debutant goalkeeper Mitchell Campbell was rarely troubled, despite some lively late play by substitute Anton Nunes. The driving forces of home skipper Chris Cox and the snake-like persistence and predatory instincts of Gift Mussa in the midfield zones won the game for United, but Maguire’s offensive attitude was keen all afternoon too, something Glades found tough to combat, despite a strong performance at the back by the rugged Simon Quigley. Again, Ben Vallance and Pierre Moudime were threats on the Coventry flanks from full-back and Josh O’Grady’s footwork was often clever and deceiving. The entertainment was really rather splendid on ‘Better Saturday’, following Good Friday, and after watching such an Easter treat as this, Coventry manager Edwin Greaves couldn’t be bothered to hunt for any eggs in the long grass afterwards. My last supper had been a chicken tikka chilli garlic Madras, activating, decimating and crucifying my belly, from which I would suffer later…

Tossing the Easter coin...

Brian Ndlovu rehearses for a part in a puppet show, in which he plays Andy Pandy with no strings attached...

Mussa and Ndlovu combined in the opening stages to present Maguire with a shooting chance but he had to hurry his shot with the demonic Struthers and Quigley ready to close him down and a snap-shot was saved but spilled to his left by the falling goalie Steven Cullen. Soon Maguire, who had ventured towards the left, positioned himself to smack a real belter at goal, following a neat passing movement but after Stokes and Ndlovu were denied by Quigley, the ball fell for Maguire to fire goalwards, only for an intervention and subsequent block by Quigley to resemble the actions of a heroic World War 1 infantryman leaping into an enemy trench. The opening goal owed much to the defensive awareness of home skipper Chris Cox, who read a quickly taken Glades free-kick, took possession at the edge of his own penalty-box then began an attack. Josh O’Grady passed towards the right and there was the elusive Maguire, who tricked visiting left-back Eddy Pitt, veered right towards the byeline but triggered a smart low cross-shot beyond the crestfallen Cullen and into the bottom left corner of the net.

1-0...

Tommy Maguire, to whom I am not related, nor do I idolise...

A sliding challenge by Struthers on Dan Stokes led to a free-kick by O’Grady on the United right, which Quigley cleared but after Pierre Moudime’s wild shot flew well off target, another O’Grady centre drifted across the face of goal unhindered. Glades managed to shrug off the pressure and won a right-side corner, which Jamie Coleman used a knee to lift over his own crossbar, offering the guests a left-wing flag-kick, which tested new ‘keeper Mitchell Campbell, who jumped at the far stick and aimed a fist at the ball, clobbering his skipper, as Quigley threw himself into the mix too, leaving Cox humbled on the turf. Kobe ‘Kool’ Ntim then produced the first of two masterful defensive touches for the hosts; under some badgering, he coolly back-heeled the ball to a colleague. Stylish in the extreme, Mr ‘Kool’. O’Grady then released the hurtling Vallance along the left-flank but the defender’s delivery drifted behind the goal-frame. Against the grain, Glades equalised with a smartly taken goal by scary midfielder Bond, who benefited from some holiday marking by the ill-prepared home defence. Matt Whitehouse, too often left in space on the left-wing, began the move but Coleman found heading the ball towards Vallance awkward and right-sided Sporting attacker Mark O’Donnell fastened onto the ball and crossed dangerously. Ntim had covered Hodge well enough at the near post but with Coleman absent, Moudime wasn’t able to get to Bond, who stooped low to head past the exasperated Campbell from 6 yards and into the bottom right corner of the net.

Campbell feels a little guilty, having flattened the skipper on his own debut...
Oops.

1-1...
The name's Bond, Paul Bond (8)...

O’Grady began a new Coventry move on the right, combined well with the heavily marked Ndlovu and fired a decent 22 yarder just wide of the left upright, before Maguire’s impish presence was again evident, as his powerful low effort was well diverted off target by the totally committed challenge of the splendid Struthers. ‘Struth, Struthers, well done, old chap… A deep free-kick for the visitors was pumped towards the triple threat of Hodge, Struthers and Bond, which sounds like a firm of accountants, but Hodge’s header rose almost vertically and well over the horizontal pole. At the opposite end, Cox was unable to direct a header from beyond the far post, following a delivery by Moudime, then Vallance’s anticipation saw him win midfield possession, run forth and shoot but Cullen was there to save. Suddenly, Whitehouse exploited the room afforded on his wing again but this time really ought to have done better with a shot from 23 yards, which rolled past the right stick, when he might have taken the ball on further.

Hodge receives a 'Kool' knee in the arse ...

Easter? Crucifixion? All the jumper needs to do is open his arms...

Cox released Ndlovu on the left flank for United, then Stokes fed O’Grady, in the inside-left channel, allowing the bearded one’s clever footwork to show itself, as he cut inside to shoot, only for Cullen to dive left and make a really good save. Soon though, the Coventry lead was restored by the right boot of Maguire. Ntim’s pass towards Stokes led to the striker, back to goal on the 18 yard line, slipping the ball to a similarly positioned Ndlovu, who in turn fed Maguire. The wide-man, the walking wardrobe malfunction, tricked defender Richard Homer, author of course, of ‘The Iliad’ and slapped a straight drive past Cullen into the left side of the net. Maguire was lifted into the air like an Easter bunny from a bonnet by Gift Mussa and the home fans clapped. They do that a lot.

2-1: Maguire again, to whom I remain unrelated...

Campbell strikes a goal-kick...

Incredibly, Glades should have regained parity as the half waned. Hodge latched onto a fine pass through the middle of the defence by Whitehouse, drifted to the right of Campbell but with Ntim racing back to cover like a greyhound after a stuffed hare, the visiting forward could only shoot into the side-netting. The interval reached, a little sunlight shone on The Cage, Leon Kelly warmed up for the hosts, with his ruff warm atop his doublet but few present would be prepared for the opening salvo of the second period, delivered by the hosts. Even the Glades manager missed it, but he did tell me to mention what a splendid chap he was in my report, so there you are, mate… The attack stemmed from the second masterful ‘Kool’ Ntim touch; a total miscue of the ball, which brought cackles of laughter from the home dugout, as a shocked Moudime received the ball, before Mussa, wafting through midfield like wind through a labyrinth, fed Stokes, who passed left to O’Grady and his centre caught Struthers and Quigley either side of Ndlovu, who stooped to nod a simple goal from a few yards out.

Dan (9) stokes up goalscorer Ndlovu: 3-1...

A superb Ntim tackle conceded a corner to the guests, before an unusually errant pass from defence by Mussa allowed Quigley a shot at goal from distance, which rose so high that it cleared The Cage’s higher fencing. Matt Lendon was withdrawn by Glades, for the introduction of the speedy Anton Nunes but then Stokes’ first touch allowed Cullen to dive bravely at his feet, after a delicate pass from Mussa had released the United striker. Glades retaliated and Hodge nodded a left-side centre from Whitehouse towards the far post and only a timely intervention by the alert Vallance prevented O’Connell from scoring with his angled drive. The corner caused a little mayhem for Coventry, as Campbell’s fist out, resembling one at a punch-ball, was helped away by Coleman, only for Struthers to kick the ball forward again and Nunes swung a boot, firing a rising effort past the right angle of bar and post. 

Ndlovu was replaced by the ruff-less Kelly and his first aerial challenge led to Cox charging forward into space at inside-left and the skipper showed considerable composure and a silky touch to clip the ball over the advancing but totally helpless Cullen into the far side of the net from 19 yards. Classy.

Cox is proud of his chip: 4-1...

Glades, surely believing that they were still in the hunt, were further dismayed when Maguire wriggled to the right byeline, barging past Whitehouse and inching his tricky way towards the near post, before poking the ball onto the lurking right boot of Stokes, which nudged the ball from a yard out, past Cullen. I had originally thought that Maguire’s poke had gone in off the ‘keeper, so apologies to Dan Stokes…

Dan Stokes, left, has added a fifth.
The other player pictured is Maguire, to whom I'm not related...

A fine, long, meandering run by Mussa brought no reward, then Vallance defended an awkward situation well for Coventry. The reeling Glades defence, tiring, yet still displaying grit, was undone again on their defensive left after seemingly saving themselves from the wrath of Stokes. Vallance won the ball off a dithering O’Donnell, lifted an audacious pass over a defender and only a fine save by Cullen prevented Stokes’ angled shot from near the left post from going in. Struthers belted the ball out towards the defensive left flank, where O’Grady took possession, released Moudime inside him, who bypassed Playdon, like he was a training cone and slipped a feed inside for the unmarked Maguire to stop with his left boot and shovel a 7 yard shot off goal-line defender Homer, into the net.

6-1 and the scorer, left, is Maguire.
I don't idolise him.

Patrick ‘Knees Up’ Suffo replaced Stokes and Maguire was replaced by Sean Kavanagh, then Mark Smith replaced Hodge for the ailing Glades and soon it was 7-1, when, soon after O’Grady lost possession but Nunes had shot way too high and Ntim had produced another gunshot of a tackle, Moudime collected a pass from Ntim on the right, slipped a threaded ball for O’Grady, who cut inside and nudged a low pass into the middle with the outside of his left boot and there was Kelly to slide the ball home from close range. The diehard Quigley did remarkably well to deflect another Moudime centre out for a corner, following more adventurous play on the United right, involving Mussa and a positive O’Grady, who ran at defenders, before feeding the hungry-for-more Moudime. Cox intercepted a Glades free-kick but shot hurriedly, low and left-footed at Cullen, before the final goal was netted by Kavanagh. Moudime had just allowed a pass to roll under his foot but this time he didn’t and he played a swift one-two with O’Grady, opened his rangy stride into the right side of the penalty-box, passed the ball towards the near post and although Kelly was unable to turn the ball in, Kavanagh was alive to the situation and slid it home from 2 yards, leaving Homer grounded and wishing he was at home writing more classical poetry. 

Unrelated to the action, Tommie Maguire hides his knees...

...and looks like he needs the loo...

Suffo and Kelly (15 and 16): are they Alvis in disguise?

Kelly has scored but he looks more worried about the whereabouts of his woolly scarf...

Kavanagh, left, looks like he's lost his Easter egg, rather than having just netted goal 8...

Glades had been heavily punished but they had worked smartly on occasions, although in all fairness, the difference in fitness of the two teams appeared to be great during the final 20 minutes or so. Well done though to Quigley, Bond, Struthers and Playdon for keeping to their tasks but with so many offensive opponents rushing at them, plus Cox and Mussa performing like their lives depended on it, Glades were too often stretched and rampant Coventry always looked like winners.

Spot the difference?
Brian has calves...

Kobe 'Kool' Ntim puts on his serious expression, whilst Gift Mussa displays his dramatic side...

I returned home to eat cottage pie (whatever happened to the eggs and chips?) But, you know, I haven’t mentioned the officials above… Er, they were OK, I guess… Gods, no complaints at all and no cross to bear… 

Teams:  

Coventry United:  Mitchell Campbell, Pierre Moudime, Ben Vallance; Chris Cox (Capt), Jamie Coleman, Kobe ‘Kool’ Ntim; Tommie ‘Not My Relative’ Maguire, Josh O’Grady, Dan Stokes, Gift Mussa, Brian Ndlovu.

Subs: Sean Kavanagh, Martin Hutchcox, Patrick Suffo, Leon Kelly, Jason Fox.

FC Glades Sporting:  Steven Cullen, Richard Homer, Eddy Pitt; Simon Quigley (Capt), Andrew Struthers, Nicky Playdon; Mark O’Donnell, Paul Bond, Mitch Hodge, Matt Lendon, Matt Whitehouse.

Subs: Anton Nunes, Mark Smith.