AUSTREY RANGERS 4-1 COVENTRY UNITED, pre-season game. Light-hearted report by THE MOWDOG...

Austrey Cash In On Lax Defending By Coventry’s First-half Squad

Austrey Rangers 4-1 Coventry United

(United win a Penalty Shootout 2-4)

Austrey offered a pre-season soccer game and archery. I chose to watch the footy. Once again I was welcomed by the hosts and their manager promised me a team-list to help with my match report and I still recall his slightly shaken expression as I photographed the names and he said: “They’re all Christian names…” It was fine. Really grateful anyway and I was helped with surnames via Twitter. If there are errors below, I apologise to any players. The aim of my blog is a little humour and I underline that no malice, or unkindness is ever intended. Except when pensioners Patrick Suffo and Leon Kelly are mentioned of course. Good luck to both teams in their quests at higher levels in 2015-16 and to The Cagemen for their first venture in the FA Vase. For the guests, there was no Hutchcox, Coleman, Ntim, Stokes, Prinzel, Blake, Nduna, Rickhuss, or new ‘keeper Rich Morris and I’m sure Austrey were missing holidaymakers too but the game was memorable for goals, lots of chances missed, a penalty-shootout and a caution for Rangers’ Adam Keeley, which was earned for not retreating 10 yards from a free-kick. Hilarious…  

Off go the Whites...

Coventry’s first-half selection looked more like strangers in a bar than team-mates, which was understandable but at least last week’s ‘Beep Test’ winner Hosein Khorrami displayed some smart touches in possession, often creating space for himself, like an illusionist creates gasps from onlookers. Forwards Denis Ikechukwu and Khamisi Lightbourne had their moments but Ikechukwu’s early headed finish was skied, then after winning possession later in the half, pushed a low shot, which slowed in the lush, quite chunky grass. His final effort came from poor defence by Austrey but Ikechukwu’s shot from an extreme angle was wayward. Defensively, Coventry were an open cage, with Austrey’s willing Alan Miller and smart Rhys Brade causing problems for United’s defence with their movement. Tall, lean, basketball-framed visiting goalie Kitan Marsh struggled throughout his 45 minutes in truth, throwing the ball out with a rookie College Quarterback’s action, kicking from hands like an NFL Punter, kicking from the ground without confidence, handling the ball like it would suddenly cause him actual bodily harm and he wandered away from goal like he wouldn’t stay where his teacher had asked him to remain in the playground. Marsh sprawled with wobbly knees and fumbled a Brade shot from an angle wide of his near post and made harsh work of dealing with a Miller header, before tripping the striker, yet remaining not penalised. Miller retaliated by lobbing goal one over the stranded ‘keeper, although the defence reacted so slowly to a quick ball forward by Austrey, that a new ‘Beep Test’ for them would have been over as soon as it had started.

Bloore (7) veers inside Farrugia's pony-tail...

Ikechukwu, foreground, looks thoughtful

Khorrami’s turns, twists, teases and twiddles were cameo features of Coventry’s half and his 30 yard free-kick delivery was well handled by home goalie and brilliantly named Connor Cannon. Home left-winger Luke Tyler bullied United defender Abi Madaraua and beat Marsh easily to add a second goal for the hosts then dreadful defending allowed Michael Bloore to embarrass the again stranded Marsh and walk the ball into goal for 3-0. Tyler missed a far post header too, nodding wide from Miller’s centre, with Marsh still returning from a wandering towards his left corner-flag. As Coventry huffed and puffed, Mario Farrugia drove too high from distance and when struggling striker Ash Edwards got clear, onto Lightbourne’s feed, albeit clearly offside, his 18 yard shot rose nearly three times the height of the crossbar.  The fourth goal was almost agony for the home fans to witness too. A high centre was aimed by Tyler from the left, to where only Brade lurked, three defenders stood still and Brade’s header saw Marsh flapping like a heron attempting to rise from pond reeds, or trying to prevent his bicycle from falling over in the entry.

2-0 now...

Oops: 3-0...

OMG: 4-0...

Half-time arrived with Austrey deservedly ahead and number 16 (Gav Brown?) well in command in the trenches, plus right-back Liam Keeley always impressing. Madaraua, to be fair, had been lively for United in defence, although Khorrami was too often forced to work with Ikechukwu, who was often supported adequately at times by Faruggia. The ‘B’ movie over, the alternative squad muscled onto the pitch for Coventry and Austrey found the going much more difficult after the break, which had been lengthened by the officials, who took their picnic for the full 15 minutes, despite the players being ready and waiting, stranded on the grass like a trialist United goalie…

The 'A' Team warms up...

Patrick Suffo, unobtrusive in red and green, asks if anyone would walk to the post-office on Tuesday to collect his pension for him...

Second-half soon, if the officials wake up...

They mean business...

The replaced 11 do some Forest Schools stuff, like lighting a fire and standing near a trash skip...

Here we saw skipper Chris Cox, his smile seemingly more befitting a satirical TV show host, plus Josh (‘I don’t know what my feet will do next…’) O’Grady, grinning his cartoon grin, also Gift Mussa, for all the world like your older brother barging bullies out of your way on the playground with swagger and a cruel leer, plus Mr Sensible, Ben Vallance at left-back, who was to strike the underside of the crossbar with a dangerous cross. Goalie Tommy Hindmarsh was just that: a proper goalie. Austrey of course, maybe tired a little but they were certainly examined by their guests, who really ought to have scored more than Sean Kavanagh’s very late penalty, rattled in straight, following a foul on O’Grady by number 15, possibly Ash Albrighton. This was the second time that the grinning O’Grady had tumbled, for he had collapsed under a David Tonks challenge earlier. Indeed, how on earth O’Grady didn't score is a mystery, for he drove a decent free-kick swerving just too high, found himself in the penalty-box tricking defenders and clipped what ought to have been a goal against the top of the crossbar and he then drove a fine effort just wide, had a couple of shots blocked and finally, for his encore, struck the inside of the right upright, high, from a superb free-kick, taken from inside-left. He won the goal-frame challenge, anyway… 

A player bends over in the brick shithouse and although physio' Sarah Evans doesn't know his real name, she now refers to him as 'Vomit'...

Odd moment: the ball is at O'Grady's feet but not moving about like in a spooky trick...

Kavanagh played a central attacking game for Coventry and with Pierre Moudime the provider, rampaging along the right-flank like a stallion released on a prairie, Kavanagh slammed a near post effort too high, another across the face of goal, couldn’t quite control a bad kick by Cannon, who’d been put in peril by the splendidly named Trafford Pickering’s lobbed back-pass, before failing to rebound Cox’s shot, which had been hacked from the Austrey goal-line by Albrighton (I think.) Kavanagh relaxed in the dying moments, eventually netting the consolation penalty. A danger for the hosts was left-sided attacker Nkosi Mzugwana, who reminded me of Truro’s diminutive forward Les Afful, for Mzugwana caused some mayhem to the Rangers’ defence, striking two good shots to send Cannon diving and parrying, seeing another effort scrape the right upright, following good work by 13 year old Gift Mussa, then the winger could only watch in total anguish as another measured effort was spectacularly headed away from goal, I think by the leaping Albrighton. Coventry couldn’t capitalise upon a series of blocked shots and corners either, Cox managing one header over the crossbar, although there was an infringement anyway, then a combination of Mussa and Billic headed another delivery past the far post.

O'Grady, left, has won a penalty but cannot take it, due to an horrific hand injury.
Sarah Evans now knows him as 'Minor Scratch...'

Kavanagh has scored the spot-kick and makes sure he's on the 2015-16 Presentation Evening goals CD..

Jean Dakouri was a confident marauder in the United midfielder and when he and Mussa were in full flight, they were like unCaged predators, who engaged the flanks regularly, using Moudime and Mzugwana liberally with passes but whenever Grin O’Grady was in possession, magic was in the air, like an episode of ‘Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell’, leaving all of us, including himself, unsure what was going to happen next. (Last episode this evening. Must watch.) Dakouri fired another effort well off target with an awkward right-footer, when maybe a left-footed shot might have been more acceptable, but the hosts were having to rely on breaks as their defence and goalie kept their ‘clean sheet’ intact until the spot-kick. Number 17 (Cross?) curled two shots from the left edge of the penalty-box however, one low and one towards the top right corner of the net, but proper goalie Hindmarsh leapt low then high to turn both away. 

The wide players for United had really caught the eye with a number of provisions for others and Moudime went close himself twice near the end. One drive took a deflection off Pickering and the other rattled low into the side-netting as the game ended. A penalty shootout was decided upon to end proceedings but sadly, though I saw it, I missed Ritson’s conversion on video but the others I managed to film, as successful efforts by Mussa, Dakouri and Mzugwana led The Cagemen to a 2-4 victory. One Austrey spot-kick rose over both goal-frame and trees, another was well saved by Hindmarsh, diving right. 

The lad from school has netted his penalty in the shootout...

Nkosi Mzugwana: now THAT was a fine penalty...

As I left, someone mentioned to Hosein Khorrami, that he had been in the wrong team… Maybe that cheered him. Grin O’Grady grinned at me at the final whistle and I asked him why he hadn’t taken the penalty himself, especially as he strikes free-kicks so well but he simply showed me his hand, which displayed a tincy wincy stud mark; I reckoned he would have used a boot to strike the penalty though… Surely? Best comments of the day came from Coventry physio’ Sarah Evans, who reckoned she’d be struggling with trialists’ names, although she normally only knows some regular players by their knocks and pains. So, it might be: ‘Neck…’ or ‘Ankle…’ or ‘Knee…’ I liked that.

Dakouri: effective...

I drove home for yes, eggs and chips, for it’s what I do…

No Tommi Maguire on view, so no non-relatives to mention…    

Squads:

Austrey Rangers:

Connor Cannon, Liam Keeley, David Tonks, Bobbie Grayson, Trafford Pickering, Gav Brown, Michael Bloore, Adam Keeley, Alan Miller, Rhys Brade, Luke Tyler, Brad Roberts, Ash Albrighton, Lee Chapman, Ricki Birch, Jack Cross.

Coventry United 0-4:

Kitan Marsh, Abi Madaraua, Mario Farrugia, Hosein Khorrami, Joseph Haughney, Danny MacDonald, Khamisi Lightbourne, Tom Fardon, Ash Edwards, Denis Ikechukwu, Scott Lindley. (Ryan Lally?)

Coventry Cagemen:

Tommy Hindmarsh, Pierre Moudime, Ben Vallance, Jean Dakouri, Chris Cox, James Ritson, Josh O’Grady, Gift Mussa, Sean Kavanagh, Adam Billic, Nkosi Mzugwana.