BRIMSCOMBE & THRUPP RES 1-1 MORETON RANGERS: light-hearted match report by THE MOWDOG...

MORETON MOURN MISSES ON LUSH THRUPP TURF…

BRIMSCOMBE & THRUPP RESERVES 1-1 MORETON RANGERS…

Once I had extracted myself from the desolate warehouse-like area near The Meadow, I couldn't miss the entrance to the ground, although the hairpin bend through the gate wasn’t what I had expected to have to negotiate. Brimscombe were having a team photo taken, which I crashed in upon, taking a couple of my own from an angle, but then I was charged £3 to be able to watch the game, despite being of pensionable age. The gate-chap, armed with a hefty pint at the bar in the clubhouse, was adamant. I was disappointed. The ‘tea-ladies’, however were far more accommodating and gave me a free cuppa and biscuits… My name was read out by the tannoy announcer, as being a visitor from Solihull, NOT as a Ground-hopper (at my request) but as a guest… After all, I wore no anorak, or sad headgear… 

Not used to running with a ball, Tyack and Shipman look at one, wonder about it and then run off without it...

Knowing that Thrupp’s original cloth mill had dated from 1381 and that John Lewis’ machine at the Phoenix Iron Works had been used for shearing ‘nap’, or surplus fibres, from cloth, I had been shocked to learn that a guy called Edwin Beard Budding, no less, had modified that machine to alleviate the problem of cutting grass with scythes and had actually thus invented the lawn mower… So with lush grass causing some players to slip and forcing the ball to move slowly across the surface, I wondered why the groundsman hadn’t swung his scythe before the match… Joe Jarvis, more a trow than a narrow-boat, would have loved Brismscombe’s port, built to allow the wider trow-boats, which were too broad for the canal locks, a passage to London from Bristol and Jarvis was to be pivotal alongside Adam Shipman in keeping the hosts at bay, all except for the moment of the equalising goal, when Jarvis tumbled and Shipman miscued on his goal-line. A misplaced back-header by The Brims had offered the often languid Lee Brooks the opportunity to open the scoring for the guests but Moreton Rangers ought to have won this game, missing several good chances, as well as forcing the athletic Thrupp ‘keeper Nathan Fagg into a couple of flying saves. A Fagg in the match? Surely not…

"I like to sit on the fence. I am usually on the line. I'll just close my eyes and let the game pass me by. OK lads?"

I think that's Robbie Shurmer finding an object in the grass on an archaeological dig...

Harry Peters can't get A Taste of Honey's 'Boogie, Oogie, Oogie' out of his mind...
Nice pose though...

The narrow-boat meets the trow...

The first-half seemed slow, deliberate and lacking pace in almost all areas of the field, apart from the youthful, not so trow-like Thrupp midfielder Liam Walsh and yet Harry Peters, more a steeplechaser than a 400 metre man, still managed to deceive home right-back Kyle Edmond with some sorties along the left-flank for Rangers. Fagg dropped like ash from the end of a Marlboro at Peters’ feet to smother a through-pass from Brooks and visiting skipper Sam Tyack failed to control the ball in his team’s next attack. Home striker Ash Caldwell was making some decent channel runs but Shipman was ship-shape and defended with intelligence for Moreton. Caldwell brought Tom Deakin into the play on the right but the winger’s cross drifted behind the goal-frame on to the scythed grassy bank beneath the car-park then Jarvis was in all kinds of difficulty when a low centre by the overlapping Josh Russell, who had fastened onto a smart pass by home midfielder Scott Mortimer (unlike Villa’s Denis Mortimer of the 1980s, who predominantly passed the ball sideways a few yards at a time) and the Ranger lost his footing, heading the ball at ankle-height behind for a corner.

James Carter has just heard that he has a part in a new World War II movie...

Caldwell (9) fights aerially...

Quite out of the blue though, Moreton’s long punt forward was headed back by a home defender but too weakly and Brooks was clear to fire a low stubbed shot off the underside of the falling, advancing Fagg and the ball rolled apologetically into the vacant net. 

Ben asks Lee if his razor is sharp...

Brooks, Peters...
The Times cartoonist is Peter Brookes...

Moreton goalie James Carter was the next to fall foul of the turf when he slipped as he advanced left and actually did so well to block an acute drive by Caldwell with his outstretched right boot. When Peters set off on another lope forward past Edmond, he was unsupported, totally and was forced to accept merely a corner, from which Tyack drove a shot way off target. More decent approach play by Peters led to Joe Boote’s boots being involved on offense but sadly, with Tyack free to his right, the midfielder shot low from 23 yards, but weakly and Fagg’s face lit up as he gathered the slightly deflected effort. Shipman excelled with a couple of robust challenges and Carter did well to punch away a free-kick from the right by Billy Dangerfield, although a linesman’s flag was wagging anyway. The Brims were too slow to clear on another occasion but busy, bearded Ben Shurmer, supporting Brooks, fed Tyack for another wild shot.

Nurse, on duty...

The watchful Kyle Ellery...

Carter held onto a Caldwell cross, after Shipman was beaten by Walsh’s pace inside but Moreton could and maybe should have been two goals to the good when Tyack freed Brooks through the centre, only for the advancing Fagg to dive right and push aside the striker's low shot. More neat creativity by Moreton ended with a Brooks drive, which sliced so far wide that it went out of play just one yard from the right corner-flag. Walsh was next to err, totally miscuing inside the Rangers’ penalty-box in his hurry, then Peters caught the balderdash bug by making a fine run on the left flank but the ball got away from him and rolled for a goal-kick. The final miss for the guests fell to the left boot of the often neat Ben Shurmer, who capitalised upon an error by Edmond, following Paul Whitehouse’s low pass but Shurmer’s chip barely reached the chest of Fagg, who is not a tall goalkeeper. The mistakes were brought to an end and the players exited for a mug of tea, a slice of orange and a pee. 

Free-kick survival is necessary for Rangers...

The rise of Shipman...

Peters and Mortimer intend to row at the Rio Olympics, so a little dry land practice didn't go amiss...

The interval reached, the game was crying out for PACE… The second period was certainly more lined with liveliness, goal chances and good saves and the pace was provided by Rangers replacements Martin Tomes and Tom Newbould. 

First aid: shove the player's head into a bag.
Would Mourinho approve?

Peters strides to the byeline...

And yet the half began oddly when Brooks was felled 21 yards from the home goal; he slipped and slithered, sat and waved his arms in protest but the referee, whose countenance appeared unconcerned on occasions, blew not at all. Brooks got up, restored possession of the ball and fired in a decent effort at goal, which Fagg dived left for and beat away for a corner. At the opposite end, Caldwell looked to embarrass Carter with a long shot but he failed, for the ball soared over the Rangers’ crossbar then the guests survived a muted ‘hand-ball’ call by their hosts inside the penalty-area. Shipman made good ground for Moreton, fed the ball left to Mr Deception, Peters, and the lean forward cut inside well and curled a right-booter towards the far upright, at which Fagg’s face lit up again as he was able to leap left again and turn aside the attempt. The ensuing right-flank corner was headed by Brooks at the far stick but the ball ricocheted off the fortunate Dangerfield’s shoulder for another flag-kick, which Shipman rose at the far post to head downwards but the home defence smothered the ball, only for Ben Shurmer to lift the rebound wastefully over the crossbar from a few yards out.

Shipman kicks the ball out of shape...

Boote and Peters were sacrificed for the pace of Newbould and Tomes for Rangers, allowing Tyack to move into the middle of midfield where he looked more comfortable. A fine Tomes sprint and low cross caused danger for the Brims but all the hosts could manage was a break on the right and a wayward Caldwell shot. Carter juggled but held onto a right-side free-kick with Caldwell lurking and then Newbould was fouled as he raced away on the Moreton left but Tyack struck the free-kick too far. The quiet Walsh was replaced for the home team, who survived a period of Moreton pressure, before Dangerfield’s low shot was weak and straight to Carter, as the hosts relieved the pressure a little. Home defender Tom Pass wouldn’t allow the speedy Tomes to, er, pass and defended him well but when Paul Whitehouse and Tyack messed up in midfield Deakin drove too high for the Brims. Jack Robson replaced skipper Tyack for the visitors and Whitehouse pulled on the arm-band, before stalwart home defender Pass was replaced by Tom Watkins, I believe.

Sam Tyack is replaced and shakes the pigeon feathers from beneath his shirt...

Robson passed right to Tomes and his low centre from the right was volleyed by Ben Shurmer’s left instep from 18 yards but after spooning the ball upwards like he’d lost control of his pancake, Fagg ended up catching the loose ball. The Rangers’ attacking all counted for nought when Thrupp equalised with such a bizarre goal that after watching it a dozen times on video I still cannot believe that the ball went into the Moreton net. A cross from the right by the left foot of Dangerfield fell onto Deakin’s left boot at an angle beyond the far post, the ball bounced off it, Carter was rooted to the ground, Jarvis attempted to fall towards his own goal and head the ball but he missed it, as did the wrong-footed Caldwell with the goal at his mercy and the bounce took the ball against the inside of the far upright, from whence Shipman missed his clearance completely and could only watch in horror, like it was a trow, lowering its mast to get beneath a low bridge in Victorian times, as the ball trickled over the goal-line.

1-1 but who to congratulate?

Ah, parity regained...

A long run by the effervescent Newbould from left to right ended with a low shot deflecting to Fagg, Robson was then warned for a robust challenge but Caldwell’s 27 yard free-kick dipped too late and over the agile Carter’s crossbar. Robbie Shurmer sliced a shot badly wide although Whitehouse had got in his way, to be fair, then Mortimer fouled Newbould and received a caution from the official. Brooks latched onto a Tomes header but shot low and straight at Fagg, before Moreton wasted a fine chance to win the game. Whitehouse was fed by Tomes’ fine pass from left to right and found himself free at inside-right but with a chance to fire at goal, he changed his mind to square the ball to Ben Shurmer and the pass was errant, allowing substitute Watkins to clear. It remained only for Ben Shurmer to launch himself into a left-foot, far post volley, as Newbould’s left-wing cross dropped to him but the effort flew a few yards wide of the right stick.  

In a dangerous area of the field, Dangerfield admires Newbould's crossing technique...

Moreton ought to have taken three points at The Meadow. They didn’t, due to a poor goal conceded but the injection of speed after the interval certainly improved the quality of their offense, although the finishing was as profligate as it was frustrating. Pass, Callum Lazarus and Fagg did well for the hosts in defence and Caldwell never stopped running in attack, with home skipper Alvin Nurse prescribing, doctoring and monitoring much of his team’s inventiveness. 

I left The Meadow to drive back to Solihull wondering about the two Moreton Shurmers, for when I taught at Birmingham Museum, one of the regular visiting schools was ‘Percy Shurmer’, never an easy couple of hours to fill and I used to chant “There’s only one Percy Shurmer…” around the office. Sad, yeah, I know. Also, I noticed that Rangers have a Secretary called Lynsey Burdock and I really hope she doesn’t have a sibling called Dandy…

Eggs and chips at home, for as you might have guessed: it’s what I do…

TEAMS:

BRIMSCOMBE & THRUPP RES:

Nathan Fagg, Kyle Edmond, Josh Russell, Scott Mortimer, Tom Pass, Callum Lazarus, Tom Deakin, Alvin Nurse (Capt), Ash Caldwell, Liam Walsh, Billy Dangerfield.

SUBS:

Tom Watkins, George Blythe, Craig Mills, Ben Williams, Simon Flower.

MORETON RANGERS:

James Carter, Robbie Shurmer, Kyle Ellery, Paul Whitehouse, Joe Jarvis, Adam Shipman, Ben Shurmer, Joe Boote, Harry Peters, Lee Brooks, Sam Tyack (Capt).

SUBS:

Jack Robson, Matin Tomes, Tom Newbould.