BADSEY RANGERS 1 BEWDLEY TOWN 1: match report by The Mowdog...

Bewdley Snaffle Late Equaliser Making Goodsey Badsey Again

Badsey Rangers 1 Bewdley Town 1

Ah, rural England: a church tower, a playground, July sunshine, around forty football spectators, several dogs and two mounted horses… I kid you not. Both clubs kindly wrote out their players’ names and numbers for me, although I believe several of the Rangers substitutes might just have donned the wrong jerseys; Badsey done, lads… Please therefore excuse any identification errors below, for I could only copy the lists I was so kindly given! The game was spirited throughout, with Bewdley’s performance gaining in authority gradually, although in truth the plucky Rangers forced more saves from the two contrasting Town goalies. The replacement was Craig Moule, with his distinctive hairstyle and meaty proportions, whereas Ratty (so the team list said) Ali, wore track bottoms and was considerably taller. So, I had my badger with me, I saw the Moles of Binfield last Saturday and now I was watching Ratty at Badsey… Was this The Wind In the Willows all over again? An early Dan Trotman goal was cancelled out late, as Town were awarded a penalty, despatched clinically by the busy, wholehearted Dan Flowers, but in Sam Penfold, the hosts fielded the most effective player on the pitch, making several superb challenges on Town attackers.

Town kick off at Badsey...

An early long throw by Badsey’s chunky and flaxen-haired Jake Hall caused trouble for the visitors but the bustling Sam Ford’s header rose too high; the only puzzle was that Hall’s throws weren’t really to feature again on the night. Town used their right flank to attack throughout the evening and with Simon Rudd’s pace threatening, right-back Ash Horton overlapping and lively striker Tom Bishop making runs, Badsey were forced to be wary. Home ‘keeper Jake Meredith collected a low Howell centre and then I noticed a novel way to watch a football match; a lad was using his garden trampoline behind the Badsey goal and he saw a bit, missed a bit, saw a bit, missed a bit. Must try that if ever I watch Villa again, or just stay off my trampoline if near St Andrews… And then right-sided defender James White (same name as the excellent ex-Wisconsin Badgers’ running-back, now with NFL team New England Patriots) slotted a great pass inside Aaron Stubbins to active team-mate Ben Johns, whose low delivery rolled across the Bewdley goalmouth for Dan Trotman to bundle into the right corner of the net from 8 yards.

Glee for the Badsey boys: 1-0...

Town responded with another sortie on the right, Sam Hayward knocking a low pass across the goalmouth but the ball bobbled past the far upright. A White back-pass to Jake Meredith arrived around waist-high and the ‘keeper struggled even to slice it away for a corner, which Hall headed on past his own goal-frame. The subsequent right-wing flag-kick by Stubbins looked set for the head of Bewdley’s Dave Cannon but he misfired and missed the cunning corner completely, as did everybody else. Ford again outjumped taller defenders but again nodded the ball over the Town crossbar, this time from James Bearcroft’s deep free-kick then a Bewdley corner was brilliantly headed clear by Penfold, who then rescued his team with a fine challenge from the second phase of offense. Town were getting on top and Hayward moved onto Woodhouse’s pass at inside-left, only for his right-foot effort to roll away disappointingly for a goal-kick. Ford took a rest, being relieved by Tom Attwood, if the number 16 was actually him...

The Badsey coaches badger their team...

Meredith raises chalk...

Fully committed Town striker Tom Bishop flicked a heel at Rudd’s low right-side centre, following another attack down that flank but although Meredith’s save was straightforward, he fumbled the ball in front of Rob Orme, then grabbed at the loose ball like it was a sheep attempting to avoid a shearing session. A fine challenge by Hall in his own 18 yard area was followed by another attack on the right by the guests; Greg Charman was then replaced in the Badsey attack by Elliott Grady (if indeed he was the number 17) and a late, unpleasant challenge by Hayward on White, led to a fusion of forehead sweat, then some nasty words like: “I say, old chap, that’s not the done thing…” and the referee eventually calmed things down like a headteacher settling a spat over a skipping rope in the infants’ playground. Attwood latched onto a huge Badsey clearance, managing to win a corner, then at the other end Penfold produced another brilliantly timed tackle to foil the eager Bishop, not wearing his Mitre and vestments on such a warm evening.

Naughty lads in the summer break...

A left-wing centre from Town meandered straight at the home goalie as the half waned away but the bounces were so irregular that Meredith must have thought the Harlem Globetrotters had introduced a weird ball, but he claimed it eventually at his near post. The break arrived, I drank a cold drink, chatted to some nice people about what awful TV programmes they were missing by spending an evening at Badsey FC and dogs came, dogs went, and substitutes, already as hot as a Madras curry at Cafe Saffron in Knowle (go there, it’s good…), ‘warmed-up’...

Morris Dancing rehearsals at Badsey...

A brilliant centre from the left by Town replacement Alex Taffe (18) caused Meredith to knock the ball away towards Ash Horton but the right-back’s far post header was easily blocked, then the Town defender’s next cross from the right led to a wasteful high shot from distance by Will Ward. A fine cross from the left by Hall, always likely to do the unexpected, fell for Attwood (16) but his effort from an angle was basically scuffed across the face of goal from 18 yards. Hall then fed Ciaran Gilbert (18) on the Badsey left and his delivery was excellent, picking out Grady on the right but, one-on-one with the previously under-worked Ali, the forward struck his shot against the ‘keeper’s outstretched, track-suited right leg. More substitutions were made but one in particular was notable, for Penfold was replaced by his first-half partner Ben Bearcroft, a change which might just have proved significant in the closing moments of the match.

Ali: one fine save...

After Meredith turned away a header across goal from a Town corner, Gilbert again looked lively on the Badsey left and Meredith then snatched the ball from Woodhouse’s approach at the opposite end. Flowers drove well off target for Bewdley, who began to dominate more and Orme drove badly off target, before Moule replaced Ali in the Town goal. (A Moule for a Ratty..?) Jake Goulding played a neat one-two for Town but shot too weakly at Meredith then somehow, impressive Town defender Rich Cosgrave failed in front of goal, although he believed he was fouled; the officials didn’t and play went on. Charman then failed to score what would have been the decisive goal for Rangers, as he fastened onto a through-pass in the inside-left channel, but the frightening presence of the Magnificent Marauding Moule bore down upon him at the corner of the 18 yard box and he was sufficiently rattled to rap a low shot against the upright ‘keeper’s socks, which were perched nicely above the knees, then Charman allowed the goalie to tackle him a second time too, before the ball flew wide for a cross, which was magnificently headed clear by Flowers, as he was forcibly knocked to the floor right in front of his goal.

Moule the Mean takes over in goals...

Meaningless incident, pointless image...

Incredibly, Cosgrave, again marauding forward, as the visitors continued to push for parity, knocked the ball across the goalmouth from the right, was poleaxed in doing so by Meredith and a defender and although the ball was hacked clear by Badsey, the officials had awarded a penalty to the visitors. Flowers took it, but received no bouquets as his low right-booter sent Meredith diving right, as he shot just right of the centre in the other direction. It only remained, with Penfold still off the pitch, for the guests to win a very late corner on the right, which saw Cosgrave’s near post header cause panic and the ball seemed to strike Flowers from 12 yards as he ran in but it rebounded past the right post. Badsey hadn’t done badly at all, securing a draw against higher-ranked opponents. An enjoyable evening, nice people, a variety of dogs, good efforts by Penfold, Hall, Gilbert and Ford for the hosts, but from Flowers, Rudd and Bishop in particular for the guests, and not forgetting Moule, whose two saves saved the match for his team and I’m too scared anyway to omit his name...

Penalty scored, parity regained: 1-1...

Then Penfold spotted the mounted riders and ambled towards them after yanking a flag or two out of the ground, as you do, shirt coolly thrust across a shoulder. Danger Mouse’s assistant Penfold wasn’t a mole either, he was a hamster, according to Cosgrove Studios, er, not CosGRAVE as in the Bewdley player… Thought I’d mention that. As dogs exited through gullies and gates, followed tamely by their owners, I slipped away to drive home and chobble cherry cake and Weetabix. That is, after all, what I do...

I kid you not...