CHELMSLEY TOWN 2-1 PILKINGTON XXX: match report by The Mowdog...

Loony Toon-Strike Clinches Town Win

Chelmsley Town 2-1 Pilkington XXX

This was a hard fought and interesting game, rather than an expansive, attractive one but it was won by the right team, for Town often displayed creativity, mostly along their left flank, where left-back Steve Sadler combined so clinically with Ben Toon, who assisted for his team’s equaliser and netted the winner himself, despite a cartoon-like deflection off a Pilk defender. The hosts had gone behind against the mood of the game when Kyle Turner, a striker I saw score for Coalville in a recent friendly match, beat home ‘keeper Paul Smith (not the Studley manager, who of course doesn’t like getting his knees dirty) from an angle. Both ‘keepers made a diving save but in truth there was more hustle and bustle on display than goalmouth action, although tempers did rise like dough in a proving case after the interval and a couple of combatants were kindly shown the touchline by the referee, allowing replacements to appear, rather than red cards. Many thanks to the excellent Town manager for his written list of players (although he forgot to hand me his business card…) but at the time of writing, I still await the XXX line-up from either the Chairman or Secretary. Please excuse any errors in the report below, therefore…

Realising that he wasn't allowed to show any leg, the Pilks skipper/goalie attempts to hide his knees...
Are the officials going retro?

Three Sadlers and three Ellises took up more than half of the Chelmsley team, which ought to have run out to the sound of 1979’s ‘We Are Family’ by Sister Sledge and although the hosts began with purpose from midfielders Nicky and Robbie Ellis, defender Sam Sadler had be alert early on when a low near post Pilkington corner needed to be hacked clear. The solid, if not tall frame of Kurtis Braithwaite in the home attack was always going to be a physical challenge for the visiting defence and it took both the goalie and Pilks 5 to hold him off as he chased a long pass at inside-right. Pilks’ Turner tried a long shot, which flew a couple of yards past the left upright, chest-high but Town were finding it difficult to threaten the massive Pilks ‘keeper, who withstood one collision with Braithwaite well, as the clash of meat rang out like a side of beef slapping against a butcher’s slab. Finally however, Steve Sadler swung over a fine centre from deep left, somehow Braithwaite lost his marker at the far vertical but his header ruffled the side-netting.

One Pilk has a ball for a head...

Toon attempted to volley a shot from 22 yards in traffic, from a right-flank delivery and struck it well but it was misdirected by an opponent’s leg for a corner, which the ‘keeper thumped out with a clenched fist, like he was a Rugby League player angry with an opponent’s collar-tackle. More neat passing by the eager Chelmsley, including Toon, Steve Sadler and Braithwaite, led to a left-wing flag-kick, which landed at the far post for Mitch Thompson to rattle in a shot but the big goalie dropped quickly to beat the ball away. The ‘keeper was soon called upon again at his near post, as the hosts threatened on the left and the ball ricocheted straight to him off the unfortunate Braithwaite. Hard work by Turner ended with a shot from Pilks 14 but the effort was way over the crossbar, yet quite surprisingly the visitors took the lead, as the lean Turner picked up possession on the right and slotted a smart angled cross-shot just inside the left upright, with Smith at full stretch but helpless.

Turner, facing the camera, has opened the scoring...

Again Turner got in for XXX but at inside-right this time; he flicked the ball over a defender’s challenge but his barely-lobbed shot with the outside of his right boot was not well directed and dropped harmlessly past the near post. A fine run at the heart of the Pilks’ defence by the marauding Steve Sadler ended with a great delivery from the byeline but XXX survived and as the half petered out, Turner planted a free-kick off target from a decent position.

The second-half brought the expected substitutions, mainly from XXX but an early corner by Aaron Hughes for Town saw wholehearted central defender Sam Sadler rise well at the far post but head firmly too high- a chance scorned. Turner was still causing the occasional scare for Oli Burton and Sam Sadler in the home defence and shot wide on one occasion but finally and deservedly, the hosts regained parity when danger-man Toon ran on the left-side and squared the ball for the unmarked Scott Hewitt to side-foot carefully into the XXX net. A little anger was then evident, as the Pilks 10 was asked to leave the pitch, following his ongoing grumbling at the referee, like a mardy Year 9, unhappy at being told off for talking during a lesson about the Crusades.

1-1, but where's the joy?

Pilks number 8 is lectured by the ref.
He took no notice...

Pilks’ 6 hacked clear after a long and deep free-kick by Steve Sadler had been headed down but the hosts nosed in front of their guests when Toon swivelled, spun and swiped a bouncing ball from 24 yards, a shot which deflected off a defender and took enough of a diversion to loop beyond the substitute XXX ‘keeper and into the left side of the net. Pilks’ 8 was getting into some biting tackles, like a mastiff mauling a lounge full of poodles and from one offence, a long free-kick by Hewitt found the head of Blaxland (I believe he wore 17) at the right stick, whose header flew wide. Toon was then tripped 20 yards out but Ross Casey’s free-kick from 22 yards rose over the trees and probably threatened the roof at Coleshill Heath Primary School. Moments later though he produced a prodigious tackle in defence, before more handbags were swung between players and Pilks’ 8, involved again, surprisingly remained on the field, after Nicky Ellis was ‘relieved of his duties’ by the referee for hacking out at the opposing aggressor, which maybe was a little harsh on one of the Ellis Boys. Smith produced a fine diving save from impressive Pilks’ replacement 17, who drove in an 18 yard effort, the goalie turning the ball away to his left then fine interplay once again by Toon and Steve Sadler led to a left-wing delivery and a far post header by Blaxland (17) but this time the ball bounced off a covering defender and a corner was awarded, which came to nought. The young Pilks goalie raced to the left edge of his penalty-box as the game came to an end and managed to deny Blaxland, who had chased a lump forward and the referee blew for full-time. 

The Chelmsley celebrations are nearly marred when a snooker triangle is thrown at the players from behind a tree...

Town plot to hit a squirrel in the trees behind the goal...

Not really a dismissal, more a
 "Take a breather, my good fellow..."

The game over, I chatted to the Pilks’ Chairman and was chauffeured home, wondering whether I would ever find out the names of the XXX players… Certainly their number 8 was combative, the bigger goalie looked strong, Turner could be a useful goal-poacher this season but the number 17 was impressive at times during the second period too. For Town, their midfield was eager to pass the ball, their strength on the left flank was evident to all and the ‘keeper looked useful, although he was rarely stretched, in all honesty. I liked the performance of Sam Sadler at 5 but the foraging and distribution of Nicky and Robbie Ellis were generally productive. Naturally, Toon would be pleased with his contribution, Steve Sadler too and later that night I dug into a bowl of Honey Cheerios, still checking my phone for a list of XXX players.

It never came...