SPORTING KHALSA 3-0 CRADLEY TOWN: light-hearted match report by THE MOWDOG...

Cradley Slip Into Khalsa Noose…

Sporting Khalsa 3-0 Cradley Town

The toss...

Scaffolding lay about in a yard behind the administration end of Khalsa’s ground, reminding me that I was back in Noose Lane. Convicts never got a chance to return to their Noose Lanes but I had managed to return to this one after eight years, to watch the condemned Cradley crew find their aspirations strangled by half-time when they were 3-0 behind. In truth they could have been drawn and quartered as well as hung by the interval, for three goal-line clearances had restricted the punishment handed to them by a strong and quick Khalsa outfit, who gradually tightened the knot around their guests’ necks, with hangman elect Lee Wherton, the Captain of the Guard, contriving their downfall and sentencing them to death with a powerful display. Despite facing a chill, deathly wind after the interval, Cradley were brave, although in fairness, Khalsa were Sporting, lacking the killer instinct and possibly drifting, rather than resting on their laurels, thus settling for a 3-0 victory. Huge visiting goalie Matt Jones, a veritable Victorian jailer if ever I saw one, was sadly dismissed for a wild kick at the racing Simeon Townsend, leaving Cradley a man short and looking for a tall, strong replacement ‘keeper. So their new signing, short winger Will Tibbetts took over the jersey, a guy I have seen play several times for Bromsgrove Sporting this season but he’s about a third of Jones’ height… Tibbetts performed well between the sticks. But what of James Pemberton, the Khalsa ‘keeper? Well, he saved the best for last… 

Cradley kick off...

Cradley were immediately under pressure from Khalsa and Tesfa Robinson rose well for Wherton’s right-side corner but saw his header hacked from the goal-line at the right post by visiting right-back Alex Mallen, who did well throughout the match. Townsend then raced onto a Craig Bannister flick but poked his shot from inside-left just past the right upright, as Cradley began to reel, like pike being hauled in by insistent anglers. Wherton, finding far too much time on the ball, freed Bannister, also at inside-left and the tall striker finished confidently, with a low shot past the advancing Jones and the hosts deservedly led. 

1-0 to Khalsa...

Cradley, however were making a game of it and their passes were often neat, although when the hosts attacked, there seemed more purpose and directness. Sam Wilkinson did manage a turn in the home 18 yard area but his violent shot rose too high. Mensah Kinch, always a threat on the Khalsa right, even though one willed him to cut inside more often to keep his marker guessing, slipped a good pass through for Townsend again at inside-left but Jones did really well to drop and turn the ball aside with a strong left hand. Midfielder ‘Nosher’ Perks shot weakly at Jones, before a good centre from the right by Kinch saw Bannister, under pressure, fall to volley wide of the right stick from 16 yards. A linesman made an error, signalling Bannister offside, then home forward Marvin Nisbett drifted a centre from the left across the goalmouth, before another Nisbett delivery from near the left byeline, low this time, appeared to deflect away from danger off Lewis Clarke’s legs, with Jones taking evasive action, like his TV was about to explode.

Nisbett (10) rather likes to boogie...

Soon Townsend nodded Pemberton’s long free-kick on, Perks shovelled the ball across goal from the left but the ball deflected off Townsend’s leg and only a fine diving header off his goal-line by Whittaker saved the day for the visitors. Their position worsened however when Nisbett was controversially deemed to have been fouled and Wherton’s left-side free-kick was dumped into the air by the leaping Robinson towards fellow defender Joe Rogers, left of goal and his volley caused a real kerfuffle two yards out, the ball deflecting off Bannister, then off Whittaker, then off Jones, before bouncing apologetically off the huge frame of Robinson and into the net from the great distance of one yard. It was like watching a goal being scored in an under-7s match but in truth, it was a relief for Khalsa.

Robinson spares a smile: 2-0...

Kinch soon made a break to inside-left and was taken down by Clarke’s rash challenge to earn a penalty for Nick Campbell to take. Clarke was booked, the left-back’s spot-kick was struck belly-high to Jones’ left, whose legs became confused and he sank downwards like he’d been shot by Roy Rogers (sorry, Joe…) and the ball ended up in the net. Nisbett’s right-boot, left-flank centre was nodded wide by Perks, as the hosts continued to threaten on occasions, despite Cradley’s determination. Nisbett shot weakly at Jones and then Bannister saw the goal gaping when a low left-side centre by Townsend, following a great run, reached him just 5 yards out, only for his unchallenged miscue to be gratefully kicked off the goal-line by Whittaker and for colleague Ryan Edwards to boot away. After a rare chance for Cradley, when hard-foraging striker Chris Bladen headed over the crossbar, Khalsa responded with Townsend nearly nutmegging an opponent, then he and Nisbett collided trying to dive and head right-back Carlo Franco’s right-side centre goalwards. The ball flew well wide of the right upright. The honest Perks fed Bannister for a 25 yard shot just wide of the right post, before quiet Town striker David Almond lobbed a volley over Pemberton’s crossbar.

The jailer has lost his keys...

Campbell has netted the penalty (3-0) and also donned his nice washing-up gloves...

A really decent 24 yard chipped shot by Bannister dropped just wide of the left upright and soon the referee brought the first period to a close. It could be said that Cradley’s contribution was not worthy of a three-goal deficit but with those three clearances off their goal-line, plus the three goals conceded, another argument was possible too… I strolled round the pitch’s perimeter to face the setting sun at the break, then wondered what those two things I couldn’t feel at the ends of my wrists were but also prepared to be blinded by the light in the second-half. 

Spot the ball...

Half-time...

The sun sets upon Noose Lane...

Decent walkways kept my shoes clean...

The sky was glorious, the second period wasn't...

Realising the cold, aching extremities in my pockets were in fact hands, I turned on the camera for the second 45 minutes, which began with two Cradley substitutes being introduced: James Johnson and Cleve Belle replaced Almond and Matt Grainger. A few attacking zone throws and a flag-kick looked promising for Khalsa, with the bitterly cold wind at their backs but that early enterprise brought nothing to bear on Jones’ goal, bar a low shot towards the left near post by Townsend, which Jones fell upon at the base of the vertical. Bannister drove a 23 yard free-kick too high but then was adjudged offside as he shot smartly past Jones on a break. At the opposite end, Pemberton fell upon the ball, basically to soil his knees and earn his place in the post-match showers, when Bladen attempted to feed Johnson inside the penalty-box.

Looks like the wind has blown the costume clean off the pantomime horse of Bannister and the referee...

Heads-up play...

Jones had a little difficulty in claiming a through-pass by Kinch for Townsend, as the striker challenged but Cradley, with Mallen prominent, began to pass the ball better and one move, involving the defender and also Johnson ended with Bladen being tackled. Chris Rabone, fresh from his dismissal at Crown Meadow on Tuesday, replaced Nisbett for the hosts, Bannister’s run on the right was wrecked by a delivery behind the goal-frame and then, fatally, Jones raced out of his penalty-box, took a swipe at the ball, which Townsend had just nudged beyond him and sent the home striker flailing to the ground like a skier tumbling on the Swiss Alps. Jones knew his fate: not execution, merely exile in the dressing room. After a discussion, Tibbetts took over the goalie’s jersey and Cradley prepared for an onslaught, which never really materialised. The free-kick from the sending-off incident was struck so horribly high by Robinson that he wheeled away in total embarrassment. Campbell, playing in a more advanced role by this time, pushed a fine pass for Bannister at inside-left with only Tibbetts to beat but the ‘keeper dived left to parry the ball aside with great reactions.

Jones the jailer kinda knows his fate...

Red card, but at least he had the keys to the dressing-room...

Tibbetts shows what it meant to suffer flea-bites in the World War 1 trenches...

Franco was replaced by Paul Henley for the hosts, Rabone wasted a left-side centre, Tibbetts collected a low shot and at the other end, Pemberton advanced to grab a loose ball before Bladen could profit. Tibbetts did well to knock away a cross, James McNaught replaced Edwards for Town and Tim Jackson replaced Townsend for the hosts, before Kinch’s quick feet threatened and Perks drove a 25 yard effort over the crossbar. The impressive Mallen was cautioned, Tibbetts knocked away a Jackson corner, Rogers hammered a shot from distance a long way off target for Khalsa and Tibbetts was well positioned again to save a side-footed shot by Campbell from 16 yards. The final piece of action though came from Cradley, who had battled gamely during the second period, with Mallen, Whittaker and Oli Oatley in particular putting in good shifts in defence but when Bladen looked certain to claim a consolation goal for the condemned visitors, Pemberton palmed the ball away to his left like he was batting away a particularly unsavoury wasp, only to react like he’d been stung by one and perform a brilliant defender’s challenge upon Johnson, to prevent the substitute from converting the rebound. So, Pemberton saved his clean sheet spectacularly, knowing he was being filmed, I guess, but it was odd that he, a goalie, had performed like an outfield player, whilst at the opposite end, Tibbetts, an outfielder, had been forced to perform like a goalie…

Wow 1...

Wow 2...

The action had become the obligatory hanging on (at Noose Lane, geddit?) by a winning team and the action was severely muted for quite a while, as the spectators froze at their extremities. It was so cold, I felt like stringing myself up, musing that the open end of a noose, the honda (sadly, I have a Mazda though) might actually have warmed my neck, although the plain end, the hitch, might just have been a hitch to the later enjoyment of my eggs and chips at home. Anyway, Cradley took their death sentence with good grace, hoping that there were not 13 coils in their noose, for THAT would have been SO unlucky and would have meant a quick route to hell… 

Nearly over for Cradley...

I drove home looking at fingers which might just have been crooked claws but also feeling mightily impressed by the welcome which had been offered to me by the Khalsa officials… Thanks guys, I’d like to visit again soon…

It’s what I do…   

Met my daughter for coffee in Pershore today (Sunday) and guess what was in front of me on the M5..?

Teams: 

Sporting Khalsa:  James Pemberton, Carlo Franco, Nick Campbell; Joe Rogers, Tesfa Robinson, Mike Perks; Mensah Kinch, Lee Wherton (Capt), Craig Bannister, Marvin Nisbett, Simeon Townsend.

Subs: Chris Rabone, Brad Lawley, Tim Jackson, Paul Henley, Chris Waterhouse.

Cradley Town:  Matt Jones, Alex Mallen, Chris Whittaker (Capt); Matt Grainger, Oli Oatley, Lewis Clarke; Ryan Edwards, Sam Wilkinson, Chris Bladen, David Almond, Will Tibbetts.

Subs: James McNaught, James Johnson, Cleve Belle, Duane Darby.