AMBLESIDE SPORTS 0-6 AEI RUGBY: light-hearted match report by THE MOWDOG...

AEI Spark After the Interval Again…

Ambleside Sports 0-6 AEI Rugby

The Bell, or AEI Rugby, accelerated after the half-time interval, to finish furlongs ahead of Ambleside, whose players included such worthies as George I, George II, Rossetti, Gadsby, Proudlock and Knight. There was even a Painting… So, even in this exalted company, Rugby took the three points they needed to go top of the Coventry Alliance and place pressure upon both Folly Lane and Whitnash for next Tuesday's hotly anticipated league decider. If it’s a draw, then AEI will take the title. The referee for this game was dressed in 1960s shorts and his legs were the whitest I’ve ever seen on a functioning official but his performance was not great, angering both teams, coaches and spectators alike. He denied the visitors a couple of penalties and then awarded them one, which was rather puzzling. Home ‘keeper Chris Knight kept the score down and should be pleased with his contribution, whereas visiting custodian Gavin Campbell was rarely called into action, making a hash of one shot and seeing another crash from his crossbar. Lee Vince netted a hat-trick for the guests and he was always likely to affect the game, showing commendable calmness in a must-win situation. Home skipper Neil Coleman, a predatory defender, was hard, harsh and he harassed the visitors throughout, whilst diminutive winger Ross Proudlock never stopped trying, running, or attempting to prompt. The home defence contained two huge figures, in Ryan Allen and Jed Vaughan, who reminded me of second row forwards for Wasps but overall the game was decent and makes next week’s match at Folly Lane WELL worth watching.

Sports kick off. Nice shorts, ref...
The scorer, far left, with Abacus, prepares for a busy evening...

The game began with a goal for Rugby and it was the determination, power and creativity of left-back Darren Wood which created it. The defender slipped a fine pass for Halim Halim to run onto at inside-left and the striker beat Knight with a low shot into the bottom right corner of the net. 

Halim (10) has opened the scoring...

Bouts of head-tennis erupted in the home penalty-box a couple of times but after home defender Craig Watson nodded one ball away, AEI’s Stu Mitchell sliced his 22 yard effort badly wide. A fine volleyed shot by Liam Charlton, who was destined not to score all evening, flew just too high for Rugby, before neat but strong home midfielder Adam Newell struck a bobbling 23 yarder past the left post, with Campbell unworried. Alex Gadsby did escape some shoddy AEI marking on one occasion, at inside-left but his low drive struck Campbell and flew wide, despite an impending offside flag. The Rugby manager was unimpressed by the careless Rugby defending at this point but seemed more pleased when good work by Wood allowed Vince to get in a centre from the left, which Knight punched away. Rugby skipper Sean Castleton took a loose elbow from home skipper Coleman in the face from a right-side set-piece and the infuriated defender needed lengthy treatment before resuming but soon, AEI really should have increased their slender lead. More good footwork by Vince on the left led to a pass inside for Charlton, who squared a pass to Rob Crinaghan. The midfielder’s 15 yard effort was beaten out by Knight but only to the laughing man, Dale Linton, whose smile suddenly disappeared as his rebound shot ballooned over the goal-frame.

Nice stack...

Linton prepares for a spot of belly-dancing at the end of season party...

Vaughan and Crinaghan were spoken to by the referee, tightly contained in those awfully short black shorts but after checking with his manager if he should shoot from the ensuing 27 yard free-kick, Linton drove the ball straight at Knight. The busy Newell fed Aaron Donaldson for the hosts and although he was trapped in the inside-left channel, he set off on a tricky run, leaving tacklers sprawling. His shot from 18 yards was disappointing however but Campbell decided at that moment to do an impression of the result of a late night piss-up in Broad Street, Birmingham, thus falling helplessly to the turf and allowing the shot to squirm beneath him as he grabbed at it. The ball, to his obvious relief, rolled for a corner, right side. Wood made a solid block on a Matt George shot for the hosts and Rugby countered with Vince beating an opponent at inside-left and rapping a fine effort just over the goal-frame from 22 yards. Another low pass from Halim on the AEI right was intercepted before Vince could benefit, then finally, Ambleside were given the chance to shoot from a 24 yard free-kick, conceded by The Bell’s combative midfielder Atal Hinds but Matt George lifted the ball so accurately OVER the crossbar, that it was reminiscent of an extra point for the NFL’s Detroit Lions.

Proudlock, proud leap...

The ball's in the air again...

Castleton is unhappy about the thump to his nostrils...

Nasty lumps of white bogey drop from his conk...

Linton was then bundled over by Knight in the Sports penalty-box but the referee was conspicuous by his absence of both recognition or decision, so that visiting skipper Castleton was forced to ‘have a word’, as they say in Solihull, after Halim had been thrown to the ground, judo-style, by glabrous home defender Watson and AEI had been awarded a free-kick. Brilliant footwork on the left byeline by Charlton for the guests led to a low dive, spill and grab by Knight, then the linesman covering the Rugby attack, shielding the sun from his eyes, surely erred by waving an offside flag when Linton raced clear… Watson and Halim threw each other to the ground, like they were promoting Olympic Wrestling as a popular pastime but the referee simply stood again, possibly admiring his pallid thighs and although the linesman flagged for the second ‘chuck’, what about the initial sling?

Ref, your trousers are very 1960s...

Half-time arrived and although the hosts had rarely looked dangerous, Rugby had certainly taken the initiative, despite failing to add to their early strike. Matt Izzard and Castleton had been stout in the AEI defence and Wood always willing to sally forth and support the wily Vince. Proudlock and Newell had been the pick of the home players, along with sullen, serious, strained skipper Coleman.

Dan Newman replaced Linton at the break for the guests and an early second period Vince free-kick was headed clear by a defender as Knight jumped, but Newman then headed the ball forward, Knight punched it out again and then hurriedly fell to stop a low effort by Mitchell, as Ambleside stuttered. It appeared that Newell was cautioned for the hosts, as they battled to stay in the game, then Vince was entirely displeased by Coleman’s next challenge, shaking off the defender’s hopeful handshake with a caustic comment, perhaps: “That was beastly, my good man…”  Both good-fellows were booked. Proudlock cleared the free-kick but Crinaghan and Halim combined for AEI and the latter’s low delivery flew across the face of the home goal. Owen Painting, if he was indeed number 16, replaced the towering Vaughan for the hosts, Charlton fed Halim at inside-right and as he closed in on goal, he saw his low shot strike Knight’s feet, the rebound drive by Mitchell slapping against the goalkeeper’s knees. The ensuing corner brought the second Rugby goal, as Vince’s delivery was nodded up and on by Hinds and volleyed goalwards from 10 yards, far side of the penalty-box by Halim and although Knight reached the ball, it sneaked into the net at the left upright.

Silly lads...

Coleman and Vince are cautioned...

0-2: Halim again...

Immediately, it became 0-3, when Vince benefited from a defensive blunder, moved towards Knight, lifted the ball off and to the side of the advancing goalie and converted easily. Castleton then fed Vince, whose casual but so effective lay-off with a cushioned left boot let in Charlton but he wasn’t allowed to score of course and Knight turned his 6 yard shot aside for another corner. Rugby were dominating by this point, Crinaghan headed the flag-kick too high and the hosts replaced Newell and the Great Gatsby with Ian Morris and the Pre-Raphaelite artist Giancarlo Rossetti. Halim worked the right flank with Vince, whose low cross evaded the supporting Charlton, before Vince used experience, extreme turning ability and extravagance to leave defender Coleman helpless, dribbled left of Ryan Allen, then rapped a close-range drive into the middle of the net past poor Knight.

0-3: Vince...

0-4: Vince (left) again...

After some considerable possession, Rugby lost the ball but Charlton, although not allowed to score, won it back, veered into the penalty-area at inside-right and drove for goal, only for Knight to save from him yet again. Newman was surely upended in the penalty-box by Watson but again the referee failed to react at all, except to check the length of his breeches but very soon, he pointed to the spot, as a couple of 18 yard AEI shots pinged off defenders. Vince coolly drove a fine penalty-kick into the right corner of the net, shoulder-high and then he went home for his tea, along with Charlton, who was still wondering why Knight didn’t like him much. Mike Glover and Rich Middleton replaced the pair and the latter was soon in action, reaching the left byeline, only to be denied by a fine defensive challenge. Finally, the hosts mounted an attack and Rossetti created the opening with artistic simplicity, sending Proudlock into the 18 yard area at inside-right but the nippy winger was to receive ill-luck, as his rising shot from 12 yards smacked against the face of the crossbar.

0-5: Vince has netted a hat-trick, so he goes home for a toasted sandwich...

Hinds (6) is booked by a man in tight shorts...

Hinds then passed along the left-flank for Middleton and his near post centre was clinically volleyed past the shocked Knight by Glover and the scoring was ended at 0-6. It remained only for Newman’s low drive to be saved diving right by Knight, for Middleton to shoot the angled rebound against the base of the left upright, then for Wood to drive too high from distance and finally for Glover’s lob from the right of the 6 yard box to be headed over the open goal-frame by Newman. 

Glover (right) has completed the 0-6 scoreline...

Game over and AEI had done all they could to remain in the title chase. Ambleside were well beaten by the end and their ‘keeper, Knight, had emerged as their star-man, surely? Proudlock kept going to the end but there was too much movement by Rugby, too much control, too much fitness and with Vince in exuberant mood, there was only going to be one winner.

Job done by AEI...

I drove home for my tea too: crumpets and Weetabix… 

Come on, guys, you know it’s what I do…