ALSAGER TOWN 2-2 BORROWASH VICTORIA (AET...) Alsager won 5-4 on penalties... LIGHT-HEARTED MATCH REPORT BY THE MOWDOG...

Francis Gets the Horrors, As Bullets Scare Off Vics In Halloween Shootout…

FA Vase: Alsager Town 2-2 Borrowash Victoria (aet)

(Alsager win 5-4 on penalties…)

The poor, tired, limping Kirk Francis fell to his knees and hid his face in abject terror, as his spot-kick rolled horribly wide in a tense penalty shootout at the Wood Park Stadium. He was subsequently consoled by other kind spirits, but in a topsy-turvy penalty decider, this was a cruel way to hobble from a lucrative competition. In truth, the hosts had enough chances to have killed the game before this shootout, playing against ten men and with the strapping, werewolf-bearded Vics defender Matt Martin injured and replaced, but the effort by the guests was tremendous, equalising late in the 90 minutes and then taking an unlikely lead in overtime but home striker Kieron Ball notched a late goal for Town to hammer a stake through Borrowash hearts. The opening 75 minutes had been a tough watch, however, with little genuine skill on display, with only rare moments of offensive interest punctuating mistakes, poor creativity and lacklustre shooting. The final quarter-hour improved though, for Steve O’Connell netted for Vics but through extra-time Alsager proceeded to miss some easy chances, not really living up to their ‘Bullets’ nickname… 

The toss...

I was offered a car-parking spot in the full car-park, which was kind of the turnstile-man but I left my vehicle in a side-road anyway and after chatting to a Brentford fan, who had travelled by train to see this game, Gary and Dan Hamson, from Vics chatted to me on the sidelines. A much-changed Vics team took the field against a changing Alsager and the opening exchanges were dark, shadowy and unnerving, as the players traded physical aggression. The morbidity of the play on offer was like walking in a cemetery, expecting a bogeyman to step out from behind a severe Victorian gravestone, as tackles flew in and the Town coaches bellowed at the referee and a linesman like they were trolls out doing trick-or-treat in a quiet neighbourhood. The first moment of anxiety came from a misjudged jump by home defender Adam Dawson, as Lewis Belgrave’s head-on for the visitors came his way and which freed Vics striker Alex Marshall at inside-right. Unfortunately, Marshall’s touch was unusual, sending the ball left and not into ghoul, er, goal, as home ‘keeper Chris Fletcher advanced and the chance was lost, for Francis was unable to capitalise from the diversion on the left flank.

Gary Hamson sniffs water...

Alsager's invisible trampolines...

The Alsager coaches prepare to shout lots...

The Borrowash defence was then terrified by a long Alsager hump forward and they froze, like a hobgoblin was threatening them, allowing home left-winger Josh Crofts, who spoke with me late in the game and asked me to write down what I had said to him, that he had looked lively and dangerous on occasions during the match (OK, mate?) but Crofts’ 18 yard drive flew too close to the right angle of bar and post for visiting ‘keeper Ash Warner’s liking and he scowled at his defenders like a wicked warlock venting fury at Harry Potter. Alsager (why does this computer keep changing that word to Alaska?) were able to call upon Kyle Stubbs to take long throws and these would prove lethal later in the tie but one by Tom Brown, not THE Tom Brown of Schooldays fame, ended with a shot on the bounce by right-sided forward Sam Tamakloe, only for Warner to look relieved when the ball drifted wide of his right upright. After threat on the left by Borrowash, skipper Danny Briscoe and Francis managed to conjure up a cross but Belgrave (OMG! Plymouth had a player called Barrington Belgrave when Paul Sturrock was manager; how spooky is that?) fluffed his chance, dragging a poor effort on a poor surface wide of the right post from 15 yards.

Tamakloe (7) shows Francis a clean pair of heels...

Matt Martin, right, does what he does well...

Birch, right: a decent midfield effort, then a fine defensive showing...

A Crofts effort was deflected to Warner, when Borrowash again conceded possession, Tamakloe fed Crofts again but this time the winger’s low shot was stopped by a falling Warner, before yet another error by the visitors allowed Ball to make ground on the right, cut inside but see his angled effort palmed away by Warner. Ball, always effective and always willing and always available, combined with Tamakloe but the often impressive home midfielder Tom Brown shot straight at Warner and then visiting defender Adam Burton, who was immense in the game, a real demon in the tackle, devilish in attitude and terrifying in the tackle, managed to throw himself in front of two low drives by Crofts, who surely couldn’t believe the second one, his face displaying all the shock of seeing an otherworldly wraith on his doorstep. The second Burton block actually led to Marshall breaking forward for Borrowash and his delivery from the right won a corner, although the guests were closer to scoring when a cross-shot by Carl Spencer was beaten out by Fletcher.

The crowd looks like part of a fairground shooting gallery...

A typical Birch situation...

Briscoe curls one...

Looks like Seaside Rocks v Everton Mints...

The break arrived to relief for many, like a particularly unpleasant horror movie had finished at the local flea-pit but after the interval, it was clear that home right-back Troy Bourne had been replaced by Ryan Connor and what an inspired substitution this proved to be. An early corner by Connor was missed completely by Warner and then sloppy Vics play led to an angled effort on the right by Ball, which Warner parried away. When the ensuing corner was cleared by Borrowash, home midfielder Kyle Blake lashed a volley well off target. By this time, Martin was huge for the visitors, tackling grimly, heading clearances with real strength and looking likely, alongside the really efficient Burton, to keep the Bullets at bay. A fine deep pass by Town freed Crofts on the left though and his angled drive was turned away by the plunging Warner. Vics were not really firing well but a long run by the agile Francis was called back because he’d taken the ball out of play. Spencer and Belgrave, not really affecting the game too much for Vics, were replaced by Dave Carr and Steve O’Connell, who had shyly peed against a sideline post but had asked me not to take a photo, to which I’d replied, “There’s nothing to see…” 

Steve's a lanky teapot, long and stout,
There's his handle, where's his spout?

Marshall, working on mere scraps, chased a Town back-pass and Fletcher was lucky not to concede a goal, as his fly-kick slapped into the striker’s legs. Blake moved into the right-side of the Borrowash penalty-area but smashed an angled delivery behind the goal-frame but soon, the hosts had taken an unlikely lead in a contest which was proving more creepy to watch than a corpse peering out of a coffin. A fine pass by the increasingly influential Tom Brown from left to right found his skipper Dawson and he fed the ball back to Tom Brown for a long, deep centre, which found Connor beyond the back stick and he beat Owen Brown’s challenge to loop a header over Warner’s head, an effort which dropped slowly, chillingly, bizarrely and hair-raisingly into the far corner of the net, just under the crossbar.

Connor, orange-booted, has opened the scoring for Alsager...

Tom Brown was replaced by Joe Evans for the hosts, O’Connell flicked on a long ball by his defence to Fletcher, the ailing Martin was replaced for the guests by Louis Menson-Evans and then Crofts nutmegged Owen Brown, whose beastly, petrifying challenge left the winger floored like a phantom awaiting its gruesome instructions. A wet sponge sufficed, however. Liam Shaw replaced Crofts, which sealed his day (folk-rock duo Seals and Crofts sang ‘Summer Breeze’…) but after Menson-Evans fed Francis to shoot straight at the grateful Fletcher, the game changed, hugely. First, Owen Brown launched into a shocking, fearsome, grisly challenge again and was promptly dismissed, to howls of haunting protest from the Alsager bench. 

Trouble for Owen Brown...

Banished...

Incredibly though, after Shaw made ground on the right for Town and his cross-shot had slammed against the very top of the far post and Connor’s well struck rebound effort from 18 yards had skimmed the Vics’ crossbar, the visitors’ skipper Briscoe hooked a long ball forward to relieve some pressure, O’Connell out-muscled defender Stubbs and from the right corner of the 6 yard box he shot low across Fletcher and just inside the left upright for a quite surprising goal. 

OMG... O'Connell has stolen an equaliser...

A boot is charmed by a Bullet...

Somehow, as the game became ragged, it became more exciting and Shaw, totally unmarked at the left upright, got into rather a strange body position to head Tamakloe’s right-wing centre wide of the target, as if he’d been affected by a spell of failure by Warner’s glowering frown. Freed at inside-right and after errors by Borrowash, Ball failed to beat the hex on scoring too, lifting a great chance over the crossbar, with Vics’ defence in disarray. The game ended 1-1 and fair play to Town for forcing the issue and fair play to Vics for competing with a weakened outfit. Extra-time was needed…

Overtime by candlelight...

Ball, ever more frustrated, was cautioned for a foul on Burton, Shaw fed Connor, who shot over the crossbar, a header by Connor was deflected upwards for Warner to catch and then a great clearance by Borrowash’s Carr saw Bullet Blake’s pass intercepted by Francis out on the left and he ghosted through the home defence towards the left byeline, with supernatural resources of strength and pace. Finally, he stumbled and the ball bounced off defender Stubbs to fall at Menson-Evans’ feet, who veered right, some 15 yards out and lashed an enchanting drive off the inside of the right upright and deep into the home net. The Bullets stood like characters from a Michael Jackson video, the Vics celebrated like Dracula had been eradicated from their necks and the skeleton in Owen Brown’s cupboard looked to be released…

Ball carded...

Shaw attacks for Town...

...but Menson-Evans has added a second goal for Vics...

1-2 now...

Congratulations awarded...

Not so O’Connell, now playing more deeply for the visitors, who headed a Ball cross over his own crossbar, Burton and Scott Birch (who had been Borrowash’s most creative midfielder, but who had dropped heroically into the defence) continued to thwart the Bullets, Shaw was penalised for a high boot on the warring Burton and the opening half of overtime was signalled to an end. 

It was one-way traffic after that and in truth, Alsager deserved their equaliser, although Borrowash escaped a few times before they capitulated. Shaw rose high to power a header over the Vics’ crossbar, following a Blake and Tamakloe combination on the home right, then home skipper Dawson, who always seemed to have a comment or two for us to hear, was warned for his verbals. Birch made a superb intervention for Vics, then Blake drove a shot too high, before, finally, a long left-side Stubbs throw caused chaos in the guests’ penalty-box, off Marshall and Richard Smith’s downward header fell to Ball in front goal and he swivelled to lift the ball into the roof of the net, awakening the fates, disturbing the crypt and depressing Borrowash to total anguish, waving spine-chilling arms at a linesman, whose offside-flag never came. 

Goal for Ball...

2-2 & deserved...

It remained only for Connor to shoot too high from a long Stubbs throw, Ben Clarkson to somehow lift the ball over the crossbar from really close range, after O’Connell’s defensive glanced header from another Stubbs throw had been challenged for by Tamakloe, and for the hard-working Richard Smith to miss the target with his header from another Stubbs lug and the game went to penalties.

Ready for spot-kicks...

Shootout:   

STUBBS, for Alsager, scored but MENSON-EVANS’ effort for Vics was well stopped by Fletcher. 

Stubbs: 1-0...

Menson-Evans: a miss...

CONNOR fired wide for Alsager, O’CONNELL was successful for Vics, so 1-1…

Connor: missed...

O'Connell: parity regained...

SMITH’S shot for the Bullets was tipped onto his right post by the plunging Warner for Vics and the guests went 1-2 ahead when BIRCH converted his spot-kick confidently.

Warner: saved from Smith...

Birch: scored & 1-2...

BLAKE netted for Alsager but MARSHALL’S effort was saved easily by Fletcher for Town and the score was 2-2…

Long way for Marshall...

...but his effort was saved by Fletcher & it was 2-2 at this time...

BALL then SHAW for Alsager, CARR then BRISCOE (with a lash into the roof of the net) for Vics meant parity at 4-4 but…

Ball scored...

...so did Shaw...

...then Carr...

...& Briscoe, so 4-4...

TAMAKLOE scored well for Alsager, before Vics’ FRANCIS didn’t spot the Grim Reaper’s apparition looming over him and in the cauldron of ghastly hocus pocus, the winger’s dreadful penalty rolled wide of the goal and left the player head in hands, on his knees, at the mercy of cackling taunts from Alsager’s fans…

Tamakloe scored the winning penalty because...

...Francis shot wide...

...& suffered badly...

Everyone appeared gutted for him...

Borrowash stood zombie-like in disbelief at their death in the Vase and as the spooky mists rolled in, their ashes settled loosely in the urn of defeat… Their ambition lay like a cadaver in a mausoleum and under the lanterns on pylons, Alsager milked their victory…

Game over...

Certainly, Blake, Tom Brown, Stubbs, Crofts and Ball had kept the hosts’ hopes alive, as had Burton, Birch and Martin for the visitors but where it really mattered, in attack, Borrowash were left wanting… 

Me? Eggs and chips… What else? 

It’s what I do.

TEAMS: 

ALSAGER TOWN:

Chris Fletcher, Troy Bourne, Ben Clarkson, Tom Brown, Adam Dawson (Capt), Kyle Stubbs, Sam Tamakloe, Kyle Blake, Kieron Ball, Richard Smith, Josh Crofts.

SUBS:

Liam Shaw, Ryan Connor, Joe Evans, Jack Warren.

BORROWASH VICTORIA:

Ash Warner, Owen Brown, Danny Briscoe (Capt), Adam Burton, Matt Martin, Ryan Nadine-Fuller, Carl Spencer, Scott Birch, Alex Marshall, Lewis Belgrave, Kirk Francis.

SUBS:

Steve O’Connell, Louis Menson-Evans, Dave Carr, Wayne Smith (gk).