SILEBY TOWN 1-3 LUTTERWORTH TOWN: FULL MATCH REPORT & IMAGES...

Beano! All Dandy For Lutterworth At Sileby…

Sileby Town 1-3 Lutterworth Town

This encounter, between the visiting league leaders and the high riding hosts was played in bright February sunshine but without a wind which would have been awkward for the players on the exposed Sileby pitch. There was pace, there was some guile, there was a good deal of winding-up of opponents, there was foul play and several passages when both teams got in challenges in the fashion of the 1950s when chaps in possession didn’t drop to the ground like Norman Wisdom tripping over an imaginary raised mat. On occasions the game reminded me of an ill tempered kickabout involving the Beano comic’s Bash Street Kids and when some non playing Lutterworth reserves arrived to egg on their mates, the atmosphere was reminiscent of an audience at a January pantomime. Indeed, Lutterworth’s two-goal striker Tendai Daire should think about joining Norton Village’s Theatre Group near Worcester for his performance was often more slapstick than the actors managed in their recent ‘Peter Pan’ show. He was good though; smiling, falling as dramatically as bandits being shot from their horses in the Lone Ranger movie and bellowing agony, anguish and aggrieved comments each time he was plundered at by the sullen Sileby defenders.

THE FORMAL BIT...

"I SEE A VIKING SHIP TO THE EAST..."

INTERESTING HOME DUGOUT...

The visitors deserved to win the game, fashioning more chances and much of their early ascendancy was due to right-flanker Joe Herbert (not ‘Erbert from Bash Street, but more like Billy Whizz) racing past competent Sileby left-back Dom Watts on a number of occasions and netting the opening goal with an audacious lob. Visiting ‘keeper Kristian Bee made a couple of good saves during the match, as did home goalie Andrew Perry but certainly the guests were more astute on offense. A sending off for Sileby midfielder Sam Buckingham in the second period for the second of two unwise challenges, led to a grinning exit by him and in truth it led to another unsettled period of untidy play, as had happened earlier when Lutterworth defender Shaquille O’Neil-Brooks reacted rather too unpleasantly to a foul upon himself. He was cautioned for nudging his furrowed brow against an opponent’s forehead and his scary frown at that moment reminded me of a particularly angry Christian Benteke expression in his early Aston Villa days. 

A FIRST SKIRMISH...

HAIR-MARSHAL KEENAN, RIGHT...

"DON'T FUNK WITH LUTTERWORTH..." WARNS SHAQUILLE...

The lurking, deceiving Swift number 9 Marshal Keenan slipped a sideways pass for Daire to smack at goal from 16 yards early on but the ball fizzed only just past the left angle of crossbar and upright. Home forward Dan Bryans did get away for his team at inside-left and onside but his angled delivery ripped into the side-netting, before Jose Moreira, a wily winger for Sileby and a real Tricky Dicky, sliced a volley almost vertically, leaving Bryans offside as he challenged for the dropping ball. A really neat piece of footwork by Daire saw him fire a powerful drive at goal from 16 yards but Perry plunged left like Korky the Cat to turn the ball aside well. Perry did have a problem with a right-side centre but Keenan was unable to capitalise and after Buckingham was shown his first yellow card, for a foul on the dragged-back, hacked-at and splattered-to-the ground Daire, the Swifts opened the scoring in fine fashion.

TENDAI'S AUDITION FOR THE PART OF MACBETH APPEARS TO BE GOING WELL...

ANOTHER PLAYGROUND SKIRMISH...

Daire knocked the ball on towards the already lively Herbert, who from near the right corner of the penalty-box, lifted a lobbed volley over the outrushing Perry and the effort bounced accurately and pleasantly into the Sileby net. 

0-1...

JOE HERBERT'S LOB HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL...

A MANCHESTER CITY FAN TURNS HIS BACK ON JOE...

Visiting central defender Luke Shaw then had a Biffo the Bear moment, earning a caution for an unnecessary foul 5 yards inside the Sileby half and right out on the right touchline but soon Bryans was freed at inside-right for a run at Bee but maybe shot slightly early and the advancing Bee was able to fall right and save, clawing the parried ball in like he was trying to prevent a honey hive rolling away from his grasp. A speeding Herbert fell under a partial challenge but won only a corner, the brilliantly named Angus Gentleman (A Gentleman on a team-list I saw) headed a free-kick by the clever-footed Lewis Sharpe, a real Roger the Dodger for his team, too high over the goal-frame and then Brooks got involved in some nastiness and received a rectangular yellow reward for his reaction.

A CAUTION FOR THE MEAN, LEAN LUKE...

TENDAI NEEDS A FEW MINUTES BEFORE SMILING AGAIN...

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT THAT MY FROWN TOUCHED HIS SKULL..."
PLEADS SHAQUILLE...

Daire was unable to direct his header from a Keenan free-kick and then half-time was signalled by the referee who reminded me of Dennis the Menace’s goody-goody schoolfriend Walter. Chaps went off to purchase a slice of cow-pie, no doubt cooked by Desperate Dan Bryans, others would be looking at the Bully Beef no doubt, although Lord Snooty and his pals would certainly have been propped at the bar, next to the new dartboard…

MAN WITH 4 LEGS CONTROLS THE BALL...

The intriguing character thus far had been Lutterworth’s undaunted deep midfielder Mark Warren, short sleeved and wearing gloves. He was interesting, a real Bash Street Kid, even maybe a Winker Watson and would prove to be a real entertainer for the footballers on the sideline during the second period. He was usually neat and impressively calm on the ball and his left boot, like Keenan’s, was most valuable at set-pieces. Sileby needed an offensive start to the second period and would come so close with a snap-shot by defender Matt Brown, only for their brief recovery to be dashed by the dismissal of Buckingham, in a Calamity James moment.

HAVING FAILED TO GET THE PART OF MACBETH, TENDAI NOW TRIES OUT FOR HAMLET...

BUCKINGHAM IS EXILED TO THE BEEZER...

Some home pressure led to a whipped low shot from 18 yards by Brown, which fizzed through a crowd and suddenly Bee, stung by the effort, was flailing left but somehow he managed to touch it against his left post and then he grabbed the loose ball before it crossed his goal-line, in true comic fashion, like he was attempting to net a particularly angry and potent honey bee. Rhys Roberts, Herbert’s useful partner on the Lutterworth attacking right was then replaced by Jordan Small, before Buckingham erred with his second wild challenge and was exiled to appear in the Beezer. Home enforcer Michael Paparozzi headed an effort too high from a free-kick on the left won by winger Moreira, before the midfielder was replaced by Harry Toon (who was very animated) which preceded the second Lutterworth goal.

A left-wing corner by Warren swerved in head-high for the lunging, smiling assassin Daire, getting behind Mike Walton to ram into the middle of the net with a strong header from 5 yards and the game was effectively over. 

TENDAI HAS HEADED GOAL 2...

MARSHAL NOTICES THAT HIS SKIPPER SEEMS CONTENT, AS HE ISN'T ACTUALLY WINDING ANYBODY UP...

Home left-back Watts was still competing well with Herbert and he swung over a left-side free-kick but defender Mike Walton (I think) headed straight at Bee. Sharpe, despite his dribbles and passes was soon replaced, as was A Gentleman, the substitutes being Joe Lee and Joe Hetterley, the latter of whom would soon have some impact on the scoreline. Louis Samuels had been competitive for the guests at left-back but he was replaced by Ben Tye and very soon Herbert was at it again, taking possession of Keenan’s lofted pass, veering into the left side of the penalty-box, tricking John Coppard and beating Perry with a low angled cross-shot which was nudged into the net at the far stick by the exuberant, laughing Daire.

OMG... SHAQUILLE SMILES...

JOE MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE SCORER.
BUT HE WASN'T.

0-3 became 1-3 surprisingly when a low trajectory left-side Sileby corner was nodded in at the near post by Hetterley, the shortest player on the pitch, past the hesitant Bee. Shaw was unable to do anything about it, as he stood behind the scorer. The Dandy’s Little Plum of the Smellyfeet tribe would have been proud to have notched that one…

A SILEBY CONSOLATION...

NEAR POST HETTERLEY HEADER...

That home goal was as good as it got for them because Lutterworth dominated the closing stages, winning two free-kicks at inside-right where Small was becoming a nuisance for Sileby to deal with. After chatting to his fan club on the touchline, Warren clipped the first shot just past the right angle of bar and post and then from a more central position, the hat-trick seeking Daire clipped his effort similarly off target. The rampant Herbert, now racing across the offensive zone at will, set up Small on the left side of the 18 yard box but his rising angled drive was kept out splendidly by the acrobatic Perry and then Keenan, often on the fringes, set off on a mazy dribble which would have produced a goal to savour but from a tight angle wide of the left upright, he shot into the side-netting. 

SMALL: BIG IMPACT...

WALTER TRIES TO KEEP THE CALM...

ANDREW PERRY, NO CHAMPAGNE BUT A DECENT GAME...

Two brilliant biting Gnasher-like tackles by Moreira, first mugging the advancing Daire then producing a saving tackle seconds later to deny Small, were totally brilliant, as he ended the match on a high but Herbert was given stick by his mates for a late ballooned shot too high, after Perry had palmed down a right-side centre.

FINAL SKIRMISH IN THE WOOD AND GUESS WHAT?
TENDAI IS PRESENT!

Skipper Daire led his lads from the field, his smile like a cold lemonade on a sweltering summer afternoon but the home defence wasn’t as enamoured of him however, for the falls, the yells and the jibes were not taken to kindly by the robust Walton and the aggrieved John Coppard. Moreira, with that fine beard, battled unceasingly for his team and Perry performed well enough but in truth the hosts were well beaten.

Shaun Leslie defended resolutely at right-back alongside the committed Brooks and the lean but effective Shaw, but in midfield, despite the promptings of Warren, Keenan and Roberts, there was also the spoiling, harassing, competitive Liam Taylor who deserves the Tin Can Tommy Beano award for his niggles, his combative style and his sheer involvement. He had nearly scored early in the second period too but his near post effort from Keenan’s free-kick had subsequently flown wide. 

Herbert was dangerous with that pace and strength he possesses and Daire threatened constantly but at the back was Brooksy, like Danny, the Leader of the Bash Street Kids, whose dagger-like looks were interrupted only when he was seen gleaming in a fine smile when his team took a 0-2 lead and he knew that another victory was all but assured… 

We liked him…   

TEAMS:

SILEBY TOWN:

ANDREW PERRY, MATT BROWN, DOM WATTS, MIKE WALTON, JOHN COPPARD, SAM BUCKINGHAM, ANGUS GENTLEMAN, MIKE PAPAROZZI, LEWIS SHARPE, DAN BRYANS, JOSE MOREIRA.

SUBS:

HARRY TOON, JOE LEE, BRAD DEWICK, JOE HETTERLEY.

LUTTERWORTH TOWN:

KRISTIAN BEE, SHAUN LESLIE, LOUIS SAMUELS, MARK WARREN, LUKE SHAW, SHAQUILLE O’NEIL-BROOKS, JOE HERBERT, LIAM TAYLOR, MARSHAL KEENAN, RHYS ROBERTS, TENDAI DAIRE (CAPT).

SUBS:

JORDAN SMALL, ANTHONY ROBERTS, BEN TYE.