COVENTRY UNITED 2-0 DUDLEY TOWN: light-hearted match report (UNOFFICIAL...) by THE MOWDOG...

Number Sevens Pay Penalties @ Henley College…

Coventry United 2-0 Dudley Town

(Coventry United win a penalty shootout 3-2…)

Dudley, originally Duddan Leah (Dudda’s clearing), is famous for its Zoo, the Black Country Museum and its Castle, which in turn is famous for being the place where in a cesspit, the earliest known English condom was found in 1985, made from fish and animal intestine, dating from the Civil War period. I was interested by that. King Stephen attacked, nay blitzed, Dudley Castle in 1138 but it was the name of the builder of the Castle, which took my eye, for Coventry United’s manager loves exotic players’ names in his teams, so maybe Ansculf de Piquigny would have interested Edwin ‘Starr’ Greaves. Ansculf might even have been able to communicate with the ageing Cameroonian, Patrice Suffo… After this showing, however, maybe this season, Dudley will be better known for the exploits of its soccer team, for it performed with creativity, a cutting edge and physicality, against a Coventry Blitz team which struggled to recreate its usual flowing style. Blitz? To remember Coventry’s awful suffering during World War Two, obviously… True, Dudley missed a few players on the day, but The Blitz were without the hugely missed Gift Mussa. Coleman, Burgess, Stokes, Blake, Tennant, Maguire, Rickhuss, Mzugwana, Brian Ndlovu and not to mention skipper Chris Cox, were all unavailable too, with Kavanagh away netting a goal in the Reserve team’s match on the same afternoon. An early Ned Kelly strike then a debatable penalty by arch-villain Jean Dakouri won the game for The Blitz, although it took a penalty save by Rich Morris to preserve the clean sheet, his second spot-kick denying success in a matter of days.

Patrick Suffo meets his hero, The Bodging...

The two number 7s really messed up in front of goal during this game though; The Blitz’s Kiam Galdins missed a trio of great chances, yet Town’s Rion Francis-Mills not only missed a sitter but also squandered a crucial penalty and BOTH players failed in the penalty shootout after the match too. No wonder Josh O’Grady wore 11 on the day instead of the dreaded 7… The surface was never going to be easy for the teams, with the shallow ditches prevailing but I was grateful to the Town manager for supplying a list of names and numbers for his squad before the game and I must apologise for any unintentional errors below.

I was impressed by this...

Two of the officials realise that their new lino needs a smaller flag...

Dudley, with their 4-4-1-1 formation caused The Blitz a number of problems and visiting striker Shawn Devonport proved yet again what pace and guile can do to a defence at this level. Lee Smith had tucked in behind the smaller forward and won a number of aerial duels, as Dakouri was forced to drop deeper and jump against the taller opponent. The Blitz certainly enjoyed less possession than their guests for much of the opening half, for the Dudley midfielders were often quicker to the ball and their tackling was effective, leaving O’Grady and Muzzi Nduna both often crowded out and also out of the action for periods. Gift Mussa’s influence was sorely missed alongside the combative Dakouri. It was strange though, in a game of careless shooting and miscues, that the opening goal stemmed from such a clean, first-time strike of the ball by Kelly, from a low left-side Galdins centre, so that the ball fizzed into the bottom right corner of the net from 19 yards. 

The Blitz kick off...

Ned Kelly & his gang celebrate an early goal...

As The Blitz back-pedalled, Dudley’s skipper Alex Perry directed operations like a guide at the Black Country Museum, ably supported by Brodie Williams and although the tall left-sided offenseman Ekemlor Sirchristian (or so it is written on the club’s website) proved ineffective and was soon replaced by Leon Naylor, right-winger Francis-Mills’ pace caused The Blitz’s talented left-back Ben Vallance some real worries. Devonport’s first shot in anger took a slight deflection high off target, central defender Ben Jordan hooked an awkward, miscued effort over the home crossbar from the ensuing corner, before Kiam Galdins experienced a strange passage of play, when he found himself able to lob in a shot from Dakouri’s pass from 22 yards, which soared over the stranded ‘keeper James Scarrett but then the ball, which appeared to be bouncing wide spun back like a Moeen Ali off-break and struck the upper reaches of the left upright. Scarrett, who had watched, suddenly ran back but was beaten to the ball by Galdins. whose lifted angled shot from a few yards struck the crossbar. The curse of 7…   

Rich Morris, before his toe complained...

Is that a rugby ball?

Ned Kelly (for it is he who indeed scampers) then scampered away at inside-right, only to stall in the act of shooting and his stubbed effort was claimed by the advancing Scarrett. Prinzel did well to smother a Devonport effort, after the speedster reached the ball at 18 yards before ‘keeper Morris did and although Morris punched away the ensuing corner, a free-kick was awarded to the hosts. Smart Dudley passing led to a Williams drive wide from 25 yards and then the same player drove too high, following a poor kick by Morris, who seemed exposed by his defenders whenever Devonport and Mills ran on. As the half wore on, however, The Blitz came more into the proceedings and Kelly headed O’Grady’s right-wing centre into the net at the near post, only to be flagged offside, which he disputed. O’Grady then switched play to Galdins on the right but Nduna messed up his near post header, sending it way over the right angle of bar and upright.

Alex tells Jean that his approach is slightly indelicate...

The pressure gets to a Blitz fan...

Kelly headed O’Grady’s left-flank delivery wide at the far post and finally, as the half ended, Galdins lifted a gift of a chance over the goal-frame from a few yards, as a low left-side cross reached him. The interval reached, The Blitz had been in a tough game and Dudley’s disciplined team-play had looked impressive at times, although in truth, the best chances had gone to the hosts. Some substitutions were made at the break, one of which, for The Blitz, was Ross Briscoe for Kelly and he soon nodded an O’Grady pass inside for Nduna to strike but this was another wild effort, way off target. A clever Nduna turn past two defenders saw him free Wendel Moyo on the left but the winger ran the ball out of play and then Francis-Mills missed a glorious opportunity for the guests. Devonport twisted past a beaten Pierre Moudime to the left byeline but Mills miscued right in front of a grateful Morris, who picked up the ball. Morris’ jersey looked like it had a waiter’s cloth draped over the right shoulder and I wondered if he had a shift to do at a local restaurant after the game. The curse of 7…

Tank Dakouri gets a booking...

Dakouri, battling like he’d been asked to complete an assault course, stumbled through three challenges, all of which could have been whistled as fouls but weren’t, so the midfielder chased back and scythed down an opponent instead, earning a deserved caution and some real stick from the Dudley sideline. This was interesting, for one Dudley coach was standing in front of the line of Blitz fans on the opposite touchline and this caused some arguments to arise, which would have a sequel during the penalty shootout. Dudley right-back Stefan Ashman screwed a low 20 yard effort wide of the left post, past a stranded Morris, who had again not managed to kick clear, with his defenders spreadeagled in disarray but Moyo wasted a good opportunity too at the other end, fastening onto the ball at inside-left but too hastily firing a 19 yarder past the left upright.

I've photoshopped out the trampoline...

O’Grady, being forced to play more as an interior midfielder, found a smart pass to Hosein Khourrami and the midfielder celebrated Eid by twisting inside the penalty-box and tumbling under pressure from I believe, Perry. The referee awarded a penalty, Perry was cautioned for protesting, although he was adamant that he had not used foul language at the referee, which I am inclined to believe. Dakouri fired his spot-kick low into the left corner of the net, after Scarrett had attempted to put him off beforehand. Scarrett's kicks had lacked a little consistency at times and his admonition of himself with regular ‘f’ words was quite amusing… 

Plenty of discussion about the award of a spot-kick to The Blitz...

James Scarrett, the Dudley 'keeper, tells Dakouri that his penalty will sail over the crossbar...

...it didn't.
2-0...
The chap on the far side shades his eyes from the glare of the sun.

The scrappy nature of the second-half continued, as both central defences held firm, with Prinzel and Martin Hutchcox having to employ severe concentration and Dudley’s impressive, tall Joe Woodall and sidekick Jordan rarely offering the frustrated Briscoe even a touch of the ball, as The Blitz laboured like tiring 10,000 metres stragglers. A fine Vallance move on The Blitz left however, ended with Galdins and Briscoe getting in each other’s way and Town cleared, leaving Phil Mountford, the guy wearing 17, I believe, chasing with Prinzel and bearing down on goal; Morris advanced, Mountford was fouled and Dudley had a lifeline. But… Francis-Mills was wearing 7 and his spot-kick was beaten out by Morris, who had dived right and although Moudime conceded a free-kick from the second phase of play, Mountford’s near post header was wayward. The curse of 7… 

Josh O'Grady's legs are on the wrong hips today...

The final real action was a fine interception by Prinzel, after Hutchcox had been beaten by Mountford and although a penalty shootout had been planned, it seemed that Dudley’s players weren’t that keen. There was an air of disgruntlement about Dudley Town for they felt unjustly rewarded for their performance but more worrying for The Blitz was their inability to press their game upon their opponents with any consistency and their own lack of a genuinely pacy forward to create something out of nothing. O’Grady was unable to work the flanks, which is his forte and Nduna was unable to shake off the demon Dudley tacklers, whereas Moudime’s regular sorties along the right-flank rarely materialised.  

Rich Morris wishes he'd washed his feet before the game...

A spot of post-final whistle netball...

The penalty shootout left me with a problem, for I was approached by a Dudley follower who told me to make sure that I wrote in my report that the better team had lost 2-0 and then criticised Patrick Suffo’s behaviour on the sideline during the match. This was awkward, for I was videoing the shootout at the time and the foul language interrupted my commentary. Luckily, the wind noises muffled the fellow’s words and I simply decided to say nothing. As individuals from both clubs had berated the officials at different points during the game, whether more, or less vehemently, perhaps the complainant would have been better served to address Suffo himself.

Briscoe and Morris...
At a clowns' convention near you soon...
(One of their colleagues has missed a penalty.)

Morris, in agony from an injured toe, saved two penalties in the shootout, Scarrett did too, from Moyo and Galdins (the curse of 7…) but Francis-Mills drove his effort way over the crossbar, leaving Khorrami to fire the winning spot-kick straight down the middle. Scarrett enjoyed taking the final Dudley penalty, which he scored and then he and Morris hugged before the giant Blitz goalie wandered off to serve soup at an Indian restaurant in Rugby. Maybe…

Hosein Khorrami, who won the shootout for The Blitz, leaves the pitch to grab a post-Ramadan feast...

I went home and ate eggs and chips but I avoided anything remotely connected to fish and animal intestines, deciding also not to invest any pension money in a condominium…

SQUADS:

THE BLITZ: Rich Morris, Pierre Moudime, Ben Vallance, Adam Bilic, Rob Prinzel, Martin Hutchcox, Kiam Galdins, Jean Dakouri, Leon Kelly, Muzzi Nduna, Josh O’Grady, Hosein Khorrami, Ross Briscoe, Wendel Moyo.

DUDLEY TOWN: James Scarrett, Stefan Ashman, Andy Arnold, Joe Woodall, Ben Jordan, Alex Perry (Capt), Rion Francis-Mills, Brodie Williams, Shawn Devonport, Lee Smith, Ekemlor Sirchristian, Luke Muldridge, James Croft, Leon Naylor, Jake Fairhurst, Phil Mountford, Adam Wright, Dan Willetts.

Dudley prepare...

Edwin keeps his balls low in their bag...

The Blitz look, er, rather un-blitzlike...