Mawgan Porth: Bodyboarding In Extreme Weather, 25th February 2018
There was no clinging seaweed in the sprightly tide,
No vile jellyfish turning blue when beached;
No oystercatchers flew, glinting across surf
And my tough rides barely five metres reached…
My hair and face felt like they had been layered
With the contents of a restaurant’s ice-bucket;
My hands ached, my nose ran riot:
Why ever didn’t I think “F…orget it…”?
I left the sea after one decent long ride,
Then was faced with a three hundred metre walk
Into the biting wrath of an offshore gale,
Leaving my numb lips too cold to talk…
Dog-walkers, dressed for a break at the North Pole,
Offered wry expressions as they passed by;
Dogs shivered, sand flew and out slithered their faeces
To be bagged in the blink of an eye…
The wind assaulted my wetsuit, turned my fingers blue,
As I plodded landward, clutching my board
Which was performing more like a boat’s loose rudder
But still I pressed on, rigid-jawed…
My body was peculiarly cold but my feet were warm,
As they paddled inside surfing boots
But I would have little success in levering them off,
For they were as tough to remove as tree roots…
The wetsuit and boots seemed attached for life,
As I stood forlorn inside the inn’s shower,
Leaning, twisting, bending and hauling
For almost a quarter of an hour…
Finally, eventually, I stripped off my uniform
And felt hot water restore me to feel;
I simply stood there and liked it and closed my eyes,
Knowing then why bodyboarding holds such appeal…
There was no clinging seaweed in my natal cleft,
No jellyfish stings reddened my exposed skin;
No oystercatchers had skimmed above my adventure,
Yet the experience had produced a wide grin…
Pete Ray
March 2018
So cold at Mawgan Porth in the days before snow fell.
People seemed shocked that I was entering the sea to bodyboard in such extreme conditions but when you live in Solihull, the River Cole and the Stratford-upon-Avon canal offer little scope for surfing…
It was so good though…
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