THE COW'S TAIL... (Ruby Redd's tale of UK cattle breeds...)

 The Cow’s Tale…

(23 cattle breeds to find...)

Ruby Redd was born in Devon and she was proud to be English although she was becoming a little long in the horn. I herd that she had also resided in Sussex and Gloucester, although when she met the beefy Dexter Moiled (Irish) in Birmingham’s Bull Ring shopping centre, they spent a short while in Ayrshire and got to know her hubby’s uncle in Shetland, known as Aberdeen Angus, a Burgher, who had once tossed the caber at the Highland Games.

Ruby loved football though and surprisingly became a Lincoln Red Imps fan, often wearing her striped red and white replica jersey on regular holidays to Guernsey.

Eventually however, the marriage broke up, partly because of Dexter’s short horn and also the fact that he had milked her of all her savings, so Ruby moved away to settle in South Devon. He had an obscure interest in American College Football too, becoming a fan of the Texas Longhorns. Wishful thinking, I guess…  

Sadly though he had often thought it hilarious to copy Alf Garnett’s catchphrase from Til Death Do Us Part, regularly calling Ruby a “Silly moo…”, to which she would reply, “Bullocks…” 

However, despite artificial insemination, she hadn’t conceived a child of her own…

Her own parents had moved to the Welsh Black mountains area, where Ruby had once rescued an injured bird, a redpoll, in a wildlife reserve known locally as White Park, although in doing so, she had hurt her own left calf. It was always friesian cold when she visited there…

Ruby had always hated her mum’s blue-grey rinsed hair but often had to hold her tongue about it when she visited them across the border because she would recall her mother’s tough upbringing in Galloway where she had often been belted by her own father. He had hailed from Hereford and had been totally bullish throughout his life.

It appears that Ruby visited Cowes on the Isle of Wight a couple of weeks ago and bought a stake in a cow at a cattle market on the island, a British White…

Rather strange to take on an udder burden, I suppose…