Tattooed Coler…
In The Cagemen’s first Step 6 season so tense,
Coler has slotted into the left side of defence;
Experienced, yes, but consistency’s his renown,
He has a wicked tongue and an evil frown…
His after-match warm-down, whether win or lose,
Is to strip off his shirt and display his tattoos,
Then when his colleagues retire to the pub for a drink,
He slinks away to a parlour to suffer even more ink…
Due to being a Spurs fan, his countenance is dark,
Yet he takes pride in having played once at Villa Park…
He displays a footballer’s belligerence and it’s currently rumoured
That in defeat he is vile and really ill humoured…
And yet after the recent, dramatic Leicester Road win,
Where patience and belief were sure wearing thin,
He found time to concede considerable empathy
And for the home goalie displayed quite genuine sympathy…
He once appeared on ‘How To Look Good Naked’ it seems,
But this was the stuff of nightmarish bad dreams:
For when Coler stripped before the TV crew,
There was simply no skin, just a massive tattoo…
It’s not escaped my notice Coler, or is it Pepsi, or Coke?
That on Twitter you’re often the root of a joke…
Coventry United’s logo shows Lady Godiva nude,
Not your type, Coler, cuz she ain't tattooed...
So, Many Happy Returns, Coler, let’s all raise a fist!
May you recall your celebrations and thus don’t get too pissed;
Food for thought though, defender Jamie Coleman:
If you’d been born a striker, you’d be called Jamie Goalman…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM ALL AT COVENTRY UNITED…
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