HANLEY TOWN 1-3 COVENTRY UNITED: (aet). Light-hearted match report by THE MOWDOG...

Overtime O’Grady Harasses Hanley…

Hanley Town 1-3 Coventry United 

(aet: score at 90 mins 1-1…)

F.A Vase 1st Qualifying Round

Coventry United’s first venture into the FA Vase was ultimately successful, albeit against tough opposition, lacking several starters due to a rather unfortunate ‘stag weekend’ having been booked by one of their star players. Glum, gruelling and grinding defence by Hanley shut out the Coventry offence for long periods, although home ‘keeper Joe Hemmings was in good form too. The guests probably edged possession, probably moved the ball around better but were nowhere near as clinical with final passes as their hosts, who really ought to have capitalised on more of their irregular goalscoring opportunities. Rich Morris in the United goal was switched on and huge enough to keep out a shot or three and he also employed his goal-frame to keep out two other efforts. Coventry rarely got to grips with the movement of home strikers Leigh Skellern and Daryl Proffitt but in truth the chances for Town usually resulted from lax, weak and downright poor defending by Coventry. The sieve for the visitors was that space in front of their defence, which Hanley too regularly exploited, for the three ravenous musketeers in the Coventry midfield, Jean Dakouri, Gift Mussa and skipper Chris Cox often looked too similar in their playbooks. Little was seen of Connoll Farrell in the United attack and Josh Blake was on a hiding to nothing against the experience, size and physical brashness of home defenders skipper Nick Ward and the powerful Wayne Johnson. The introduction of both the innovative Muzzy Nduna and the height and brawn of Ross Briscoe brought much needed balance to the visiting offense and the game was taken away from Hanley following the dismissal of replacement Theo Townsend. 

The linesman is surely a TV comedian?
O'Grady and Cox engage in a strange bowing ritual...

A stretching bear, a man and his dog and the chap in blue who worried about taking a photo of The Bodging and me... 

The referee annoyed both teams throughout the match and was seen to err several times, as did his assistants, but whilst Hanley will point mainly to what the referee DID give against them, United will point mainly to what WASN’T given to them. Coventry’s loud supporters added atmosphere to the tie but I really hope that their ‘support’ didn’t spill over into any unpleasantness for home followers. Coventry too were without players, for Kiam Galdins, Leon Kelly, Martin Hutchcox, Brian Ndlovu and replacement ‘keeper Joe Connor were unavailable and Charlie Cook and Hosein Khorrami fidgeted alongside Muzzy Nduna and main striker Ross Briscoe on the bench. The Coventry fans chanted: “Mowdog, Mowdog, give us a wave…” I did so and the match started… 

Edwin writes: "Must remember to take my constipation medicine..."

Now… To Coventry’s nickname for this report… Well, Brian Ndlovu is nearing fitness, so, simply to honour him and his ‘The Life of Brian’, the team shall herewith be called: ‘The Brians'…

"Look, no hands, no hat, no arse..!" exclaims Jean Dakouri...

The solid home rearguard was an instant barrier for the lighter, smaller Coventry forwards, rather like being a visitor daunted at the turn of the century by the pottery industry of the area but the hosts did manage an early attack, when Mellor’s miscued pass to Proffitt led to a stumbling run into the left side of the penalty-box but Mellor’s subsequent drilled shot from the byeline shook cobwebs from the side-netting. Untidy play ensued until The Brians put together a smart move, with Dakouri and Mussa combining, Dakouri shifting his buttocks down the left-flank to collect Ben Vallance’s pass, before slipping a pass for Farrell to cross; Cox jumped well but his header bounced some yards wide of the left post. A wild challenge by Wayne Johnson set the scene for some physical tackles, although the officials seemed content to keep the free-kicks and warnings to a minimum, yet after Mussa fed O’Grady for a cut-in and a wasted, sliced shot, Jamie Coleman was penalised, but The Brians broke from the Hanley free-kick through Cox and it came as a surprise to O’Grady that he was flagged offside by the glabrous linesman, who reminded me of Omid Djalili… 

As usual, Hanley win the ball, aerially...

...except Leigh Skellern, of course...

The Brians really ought to have taken the lead when Cox passed to Blake towards the right byeline, from whence the forward slid a pass to O’Grady, badly marked in front of goal, but from 7 yards the tricky winger hammered his shot past the right upright and Hanley breathed sighs with their expressions of relief. Dakouri’s foul on the fallen Mellor was punished rather surprisingly with a caution, yet similar and worse challenges had previously not been as severely frowned upon by the inconsistent official. Inconsistency? Ah, yes, soccer’s new nickname… Joe Hemmings, Hanley’s athletic goalie, caught a near post cross by Farrell, who had made it to the byeline on the left, before O’Grady’s 23 yard free-kick struck a body in Hanley’s defensive wall but then the winger curled the rebound into Hemmings’ arms. The Brians were getting on top somewhat, with Pierre Moudime often threatening on the right, O’Grady’s ball-control and retention causing concern and Dakouri combining with Mussa to gain some control in midfield, despite the promptings of Jamie Skellern and Oli Edwards for the hosts. 

O'Grady, left, wonders how he failed to hit such a large target.
Good job he's not a fireman then...

"The name's Jean.
That's Mr Butt-Out to you, ref..." 

Morris was called into simple action, collecting a near post delivery from busy and effective home right-back Curtis Evans, following good hold-up play and a clever pass by Leigh Skellern, who scowled superbly on occasions. The opening goal, when it came, was eyebrow-raising because the encounter was not a ‘thrilling cup-tie’ in any stretch of the imagination and Moudime’s throw on the right led to a pass inside by Dakouri for O’Grady, who fell over from Mellor’s unwise tackle inside the 18 yard box. The referee actually awarded a spot-kick… No caution though… Dakouri stepped forth and fired his penalty-kick into the bottom left corner of the net and the guests were deservedly in front. After the solid and dependable Jack Watson fired a 26 yard free-kick for Morris to gather, two of the officials totally erred during a bizarre attack by The Brians. First a clear hand-ball by Mellor was flagged for by the linesman, which looked inside the penalty-area but the referee played an advantage (really?) but Hemmings made a fine save from O’Grady’s shot, only for Blake to be flagged offside as he buried the rebound. Oh, dear… No advantage there then, only for Hanley… Ooops…

Jean's penalty: 0-1 to Coventry...

Proffitt soon caused some disruption at inside-left for Town but Gareth Tweats mistreated his shot way wide with a slice, therefore not profiting from Proffitt’s service. At the other end, Blake fed O’Grady at inside-right but the winger’s acute drive was superbly tipped aside by the diving Hemmings, before the ‘keeper touched O’Grady’s left-side corner away from Cox’s leap, only for O’Grady to exchange passes with Moudime from the flag-kick and slice another bad shot well off target. As the half wore down, yet another right-flank attack by the visitors caused tension in the Hanley goalmouth, when Moudime reached the byeline and beat the ‘keeper with a hard, low delivery, only for a fine interception in front of his own goal by Evans to deny Blake a sliding conversion at the far stick.  

A first-half of threat on the right for The Brians then, also of hardy defending by Hanley, some too-hurried deliveries by their guests but also a hint of danger from Leigh Skellern and Proffitt. The sun was bright, the breeze typically autumnal and the Coventry supporters chanted. And chanted.

Blake and Johnson look right...

Carelessness began to creep into some of The Brians’ play in the second period and the players were warned of possible outcomes when Leigh Skellern cleverly allowed a pass from Edwards across the 18 yard line to roll between his legs and Tweats simply ran onto the ball unchallenged into that unguarded space in front of the guests’ defence but he wasted his opportunity, firing upwards and over the crossbar. Incredibly, a Cox tackle drew a yellow card from the official’s neatly turned out costume, much to the United skipper’s amusement, for Mellor appeared to milk the situation until the caution had been completed. But then again, the vast majority of players do that… The deep free-kick by Ward was met strongly against Cox by Johnson’s header, Proffitt got the better of Coleman, got behind hime and flicked the ball against the outside of the left upright, as The Brians dithered. The visitors responded and O’Grady saw a shot deflected from Moudime’s run and low centre, for Hemmings to pounce upon, then after Evans defended a run by the extremely quiet Farrell brilliantly, Vallance’s deep cross dropped onto the unmarked grumbler’s head, Blake. Unfortunately for him, he got under the ball and nodded it some yards too high.

Mellor suffers and Cox has his name scribbled in a book...

Joe Donaldson replaced the useful Edwards for the hosts and then, after Mussa’s partial challenge set Town attacking, the referee booked the shocked United midfielder some minutes later and The Brians must have been wondering how much longer it would be until a Town challenge was treated in such a manner. Blake was then baulked from behind by Ward, fairly I thought, yet the challenge was no less injurious than those penalised with cautions for The Brians earlier. Ward’s fine play led to Coleman being beaten to the left byeline by the impish Leigh Skellern, who picked out another Tweats run, again in that blind spot in front of the Coventry defence but this time, the midfielder sliced his shot somewhat and the guests looked relieved. Muzzy Nduna then appeared, but surprisingly it was the effective and combative Dakouri who was replaced and the game livened up for the visitors, with Nduna’s quick feet and thoughtful releases evident immediately. His first contribution was a stealthy pass through inside-right, O’Grady was onto it, dribbled into the penalty-box, went down as Hemmings dived bravely in front of him but Blake’s final shot under pressure again flew too high.

Jamie Coleman reveals 'am'.
He am, er, tattooed?

After Theo Townsend replaced the tired but very proficient Evans, Nduna so nearly put his team into trouble. His casual pass towards his central defenders was quickly latched onto by Leigh Skellern, whose presence had probably caused hesitation from Callum Burgess and Coleman but with only Morris to beat, the striker shot against the bear-like goalie’s legs, only for the supporting Proffitt not to profit, sending his rebound effort against the face of the crossbar. The equaliser came in rather strange circumstances, for Nathan Stoute had just appeared as a Coventry replacement, for Farrell. The Brians looked a little unsure as to the new formation they should adopt and the hosts won a right-side corner, which fell to Stoute near the edge of the 18 yard box but the substitute miscued, Mussa was wrong-footed as he attempted to cover Tweats, the ball deflected off Ward into Tweats’ path and in a crowd, he shot neatly into the bottom right corner of the net.

Gareth Tweats tweets his followers: "Yeah, I've scored! 1-1..."

Nduna was sent sprawling by Ward at the other end and finally, finally, the yellow card was displayed by the almost apologetic referee to a Hanley player but Hemmings did so well to dive down to his left near the upright and touch O’Grady’s low, curling free-kick behind for a corner. Substitute Jordan Flattley headed the corner off Nduna’s head at the near post but with The Brians now pressing for a winner, Cox’s fine pass from the right enabled Blake to feed O’Grady at inside-left for an 18 yard drive, which Hemmings held onto. A fine O’Grady pass released Nduna and he was barged to the ground by Townsend, who received, to everyone’s surprise, given the referee’s previous leniency, a dismissal. Incredibly though, although the incident took place some 23 yards from goal, the ensuing free-kick was marked 28 yards from goal and Cox’s drive hammered into the hosts’ defensive wall. O’Grady fired a late effort across the goalmouth and Hemmings leapt from goal to punch a corner away spectacularly and the final whistle blew.

Townsend's end. Time to shower and re-deodorise...

Nice pose, ref.
A poser, then?

Extra-time meant more work for the tiring home defence but in fact it was substitute Flattley who was adjudged to have tripped Blake as he ran towards the right side of the penalty-area onto a short Nduna pass, following a corner. A second penalty, again surprisingly from this referee, was awarded. O’Grady with a two-step approach scored the spot-kick expertly and powerfully into the right corner of the net. 

United attempt some recovery...
Except Pierre, whose head is being trampled upon by a stray orange boot.

Weary, aching Townmen...

Gift knows he will be home too late for his 8pm bedtime, now that school is in for Year 9s...

Tricky has netted a penalty: 1-2 now...

Blake mumbles: "Damn, he's getting away from me in the scoring chart..."

Ross Briscoe replaced the ailing Cox and the bullish striker was soon in action, turning expertly past a defender, something we had waited all afternoon to witness, then he nutmegged Ward and with only Hemmings to beat, Briscoe moved the ball inside the final defender, who caught the forward’s boot, sending him sprawling. No more penalties were to be had here though and so the official cautioned Briscoe for, er, diving… Oh, dear. More Nduna neatness led to a pass through inside-right and although Briscoe was forced wide, Hemmings still had to get down left and sharply to push the effort behind for a corner. Mussa’s rampaging one-two with Briscoe saw the midfielder superbly tackled inside the penalty-area by a Hanley defender and the interval was signalled. 

Some visitors to the Potteries...

The second-half began with a magnificent O’Grady run through the home defence and he was only stopped by a last-ditch defensive lunge but The Brians’ concentration suddenly lapsed and Hanley so nearly snatched an equaliser. Burgess was unable to deal with a fine lobbed pass from Jamie Skellern, allowing Proffitt to profit but he didn’t, for his attempted lob was hauled into his bear-like body by the huge figure of Bruno Morris, whose glove resembled a paw hooking a honey-pot. Unbelievably, Nduna wrestled himself free again at inside-right, following precocious play by Briscoe, but he was smashed to the turf by Donaldson, the ball ran on for O’Grady, who teed up Blake and the ball was converted, only for an offside flag to ruin the Coventry celebrations. However, there had been no advantage, the free-kick was awarded to Coventry, but O’Grady lifted his shot over the crossbar and typically, Nduna’s assailant wasn’t punished… Again.

"I was fouled, ref..."

The Coventry physio' ignores the "Sarah, Sarah, give us a wave..." chants from the travelling supporters...
"I won't wave whilst working..." she responds.

The Brians did, however, settle the affair with a slick third goal and again Nduna was the creator; he took a short Stoute (short and stout? Teapot?) header and turned his marker Johnson like snow was melting behind him, raced goalwards, drew Hemmings and incredibly unselfishly squared the ball to the unmarked O’Grady and he tickled the ball inside the right upright.

O'Grady has scored, Pierre likes that but Nduna was instrumental...

Blake slid towards a tackle and, er, was cautioned, which was par for the course for Coventry on the day but it was left to the by now really irritated Leigh Skellern to miss one more Hanley chance, when he was freed by Ward, currently playing as a makeshift striker but again Morris The Bear approached and clawed out Skellern’s effort, one-on-one.

"If I dance for you, will you waive the booking, Ref?"
Odd, because there was a Flattley on the pitch, too...

The celebrations were rather muted I thought. I considered it not wise to ask the Hanley manager, Dean Owen, for a video-interview under the circumstances and Coventry’s Ross Briscoe refused to do so because he was so annoyed with the referee. Manager Edwin Greaves of United agreed however, despite players making faces at him from behind the camera and the players disappeared  into the dressing-rooms. I liked the Hanley set-up, I wish them well, especially as they were so short-handed on this occasion. Coventry really did huff and puff at times, although at others looked fairly slick but to be fair, on chances and the balance of play, they deserved to progress. Ward, Hemmings, the full-backs and Johnson were resilient for the hosts and really, if Coventry had failed to score that second goal, Town might have sneaked a winner themselves, courtesy of profligate strikers Skellern and Proffitt. United were not that good, really, displaying a disjointedness and intermittent erratic play, especially in their hurrying, despite Morris bellowing at them to calm down and tire the Hanley defence as the game wore on. A ball-holder would certainly have aided The Brians’ cause…     

The end...

Muzzy shows me his rhino' impression.
Good, Muzzy...

"Did I do OK, Mowdog?"
Yeah, Muzzy, you did, although it might have gone unnoticed by some fans...

Me? Hated the journey back along the M6 and M42 for a fish meal. No eggs. Fish.

It’s what I must do from now on…

New Coventry boy-band:
The Weary Bankers...

TEAMS:

HANLEY TOWN:

Joe Hemmings, Curtis Evans, Wayne Johnson, Nick Ward (Capt), Jack Watson, Oli Edwards, Jamie Skellern, Gareth Tweats, Leigh Skellern, Daryl Proffitt, Oli Mellor.

SUBS:

Theo Townsend, Joe Donaldson, Jordan Flattley, Dean Owen.

COVENTRY UNITED: 

Rich Morris, Pierre Moudime, Ben Vallance, Gift Mussa, Jamie Coleman, Callum Burgess, Josh O’Grady, Jean Dakouri, Josh Blake, Chris Cox (Capt), Connoll Farrell.

SUBS:

Muzzy Nduna, Charlie Cook, Ross Briscoe, Nathan Stoute, Hosein Khorrami.