WILLENHALL TOWN 2-2 HAUGHMOND: light-hearted report by THE MOWDOG...

Willenhall Scrap For A Point, Quite Frankly…

Willenhall Town 2-2 Haughmond…

’Twas the night before I officially became a pensioner, a concession, an old git, and the forecast rainstorm was held at bay by a Black Country sunset over the football arena. The men from Haughmond Hill, a place famous for the quarrying of stone and also probably for being ‘Bosky Hill’, from where King Henry IV’s wife Eleanor was supposed to have watched the Battle of Shrewsbury in 1403, looked to have stifled this game, leading 0-2 with 10% of the match remaining but The Lockmen of Willenhall, fought back from death, which was interesting, because Willenhall was famous by the end of the 17th century for the manufacture of coffin handles, as well as nails, bolts, latches, locks and curry combs (not for raking at Chicken Jaipuris, but for scraping dirt from horses’ coats…) and scrambled two late goals to leave one of the visiting coaches incensed with the referee, who had awarded the hosts a very, very late penalty. No need to mention that Willenhall’s wattle and daub buildings were once destroyed by fire in 1659 though, because this game took place in Bilston… 

TOSS...

...OFF...

Haughmond began the stronger, “…organised…” according to Willenhall fan Frank, who bellowed instructions to the Red Army throughout, yet their diminutive forwards were unable to pick the locked Willenhall defence for some time, mostly due to some wayward shooting. Matt Fletcher and Kevin Renshaw combined first but the latter drove wide from 19 yards and after the hosts cleared a free-kick, Fletcher, on the left byeline attempted to deliver a low cross with the outside of his right boot. He failed. Home skipper Paul Holden was soon warned for instructing the young referee to ‘disappear’, when the official gave another free-kick to the guests: “F… off…” Holden actually said. Town were being pushed back rather but eventually managed to break forward onto a poor Haughmond pass and left-sided attacker Kieran Robinson bolted along the left-flank but his cross was bludgeoned and rose horribly off target by solid striker Matt Dorgon, as if he was attempting to launch the ball into Willenhall’s old Long Lane ground.

THE TALL AND HAIRY ROGERS STANDS OUT, RATHER...

Louis Irvine ran across the home defence, in which Adam Holliday was working overtime plugging the mortices, but the forward’s 18 yard finish was too high, then Scott Graham’s shot from 18 yards, following approach play by Steve Hole, was so badly sliced that home ‘keeper Tim Patterson had quite a long jog to retrieve the ball. Another rush forth by Robinson for Town fizzled out, for visiting defenders George Taylor and skipper Tom Hewitt were resolute but it has to be said that Willenhall’s Danny Hemmings looked to have lively feet and the splendidly named Eddie Wynne-Wilson was a willing runner into and across the visiting defensive zone. A long and desperate shot at goal by Town’s Craig Sudlow, who spent a good deal of the evening shadowing the travels of Gulliver, Haughmond’s enormous, bearded Carl Rogers, surely more suited to being a rebounder for the New York Nicks, was off target and the game settled into a tit for tat error spat. 

SUDLOW LEECHES ONTO ROGERS...

Hole ran well to win a Haughmond corner, Fletcher’s flag-kick was punched away by Patterson and again Robinson ran off to threaten the visitors but his efforts again came to nought at the edge of the penalty-area. The game then yielded a goal, surprisingly, following the award of a left-wing corner to Haughmond and after a moment of anger from home right-back Lyndon Weller, who was cautioned for a flash of anger when he smashed the ball against the perimeter wall, momentarily drowning out Frank’s bellows on the touchline and loosening plaster. The corner was delivered, Taylor rose at the far post, his header was stopped on the goal-line by Holliday but Taylor reacted really well to the rebound and shovelled the loose ball over Patterson into the upper reaches of the waiting net.

FRANK RACES DOWN THE TOUCHLINE TO PLEAD WELLER'S CASE...
BUT FAILED.

GOAL! 0-1: TAYLOR...

After Renshaw’s low 20 yard drive flew past Patterson’s right upright, the Haughmond man and colleague Hole threatened after Rogers, often not very involved, used his gargantuan height to nod on a long free-kick by Hewitt but to no avail as the half yawned to a close with more mistakes and slices and errant passing. Unbelievably, Willenhall ought to have equalised when, following a left-side corner, the ball was fed across the penalty-box, I think by Wynne-Wilson, but Dorgan, just a few yards out, put his right boot to the ball and it fizzed 3 yards wide of the left upright, to his own dismay and Frank’s shock, for the red-clad fan went quiet for eight seconds. Fine defence by Holden blanked out Haughmond again but a huge right-side Rogers throw, like he was performing in Lilliput, caused Patterson to punch the ball out from his near post, just as the official signalled a break, allowing Frank to get a hot drink and resort to being a quietly spoken chap again.

GULLIVER TRAVELS...

An early second-half wake-up call for left-side home defender Graham Ashton, when he misplaced a pass, ended with a Hole shot being deflected across the home penalty-box, whereas at the opposite end, Haughmond ‘keeper Sam Jones almost spilled a low centre into Dorgan’s path but he recovered well enough. Willenhall were picking the Haughmond defensive lock more by this time and when the by now more influential midfielder Matty Dove swooped to feed the overlapping Hemmings on the right, the tricky player’s centre searched for a taker but one there was not. Holden, Hemmings, Wynne-Wilson and Robinson all began to feature more for the hosts but Taylor and Hewitt were keeping them at bay and it was Ashton who soon received a caution for Willenhall with some staple, solid defending but his argumentative narrative failed to impress the referee. A Haughmond corner on the left was again met by Taylor’s flying head but the home crossbar denied him and Willenhall replaced Dorgan with Ryan ‘Spindle’ Ward, who soon  glanced a header from a right-flank corner past the far post. 

Yet the military precision of the Haughmond troops allowed them to survive this spirited Willenhall revival and take a 0-2 lead, when the ball found its way to substitute Dave Howarth on the left side. He crossed long, the lively right-back Matty Jones was then involved, also Hewitt, but Town’s Ashton lost possession after intercepting and Hole intervened, allowing Irvine to feed Howarth on the left side of the 18 yard box and his low drive beat Patterson all ends up. Willenhall’s lock had been picked again but they didn’t fold, instead scrapping for every ball and with Ward looking irritable, like he’d had a crap day at work, the visitors were having to concentrate even more in defence.

GOAL! 0-2: HOWARTH...

THE BOSKY HILLMEN LOOK PLEASED ENOUGH...

Mikey Clark replaced Robinson for the hosts, Ed Ashlin replaced Renshaw for the guests, Hemmings and the ever more dangerous Wynne-Wilson set up Sudlow for a low 17 yarder, which flew past the right post and Haughmond’s Dan Perry replaced Hole. (Welshman Barrie Hole was one of the few players I considered legendary at Aston Villa; “He’s here, he’s there, he’s every f…..’ where, Barrie Hole, Barrie Hole…” Memories are made of this…) Ashlin was cautioned for a wild challenge, as Haughmond were suddenly forced to perform a more rearguard action and the two Town substitutes missed two reasonable chances within moments, as Frank became even more animated on the sideline. First, Clark rose at the far, left post to head Wynne-Wilson’s corner downwards but off-target then he poked a pass at inside-left for Ward, whose similar poke rolled for a grateful Jones to pick up.

ASHLIN PREPARES TO SPELL OUT HIS NAME...

Dan Bryson replaced Sudlow for the hosts, who had kept the danger of the lumbering Rogers to a minimum in truth and suddenly, Town were offered a lifeline. A couple of clever nutmegs by Clark, a too-long cross from the left by Ward and Wynne-Wilson did really well to keep the ball in play, before employing both Hemmings and Dove on the right, before Hemmings’ low centre was knocked away by Taylor but only to Town’s Holliday, who drove a slightly deflected 22 yard effort into the bottom right corner of the net, levering his team to genuine hope. The latch was lifting, Haughmond’s jamb-like door had been lubricated, the shackles had been loosened, the hasp was opening and Taylor soon found himself booked for accruing a number of fouls, if the referee’s actions were anything to go by. And Taylor would feature again soon afterwards… 

SPOT HOLLIDAY'S JOY?
NO, NOR ME.
1-2 ANYWAY...

Then, with time running out, Spindle Ward, fresh from a kicking-spat with Graham in the Haughmond penalty-box (yeah, I saw that…), turned at inside-left and delivered a fine pass towards the right-wing, Wynne-Wilson ran at Taylor, tumbled as he reached the byeline and in a melee of sprawling arms and legs, the officials awarded Willenhall a late, dramatic, frenetic penalty. Frank was apoplectic… Up stepped wily midfielder Dove and his right-boot penalty was lifted calmly and accurately into the top right corner of the net and Willenhall had removed the Haughmond padlock. Frank screamed, alerting satellites and affecting TV reception in downtown Bilston… 2-2 and still both teams went for victory but with Willenhall attacking again, time ran out.    

DOVE SWOOPS AND IT'S 2-2...

Frank had risen to crazy heights, racing alone the touchline like an agitated leopard inside his cage at feeding time, for he had been well impressed by Willenhall’s battling qualities. Wynne-Wilson, Ward, Clark and Hemmings had been well supported late on by Holden and Dove and a deserved point had been gained. Yet, with influential midfielder Scott Graham injured near me by the end, one of the nearby Haughmond coaches was so angry with the referee that I was reminded of my dad’s reactions when as a kid I spoke out of turn at home. I was terrified then and I turned away terrified this time too… He was no doubt annoyed too, by his team’s abject final quarter in the proceedings.

THE REF IS CASTIGATED, ANGER CORUSCATES ABOUT & GRAHAM CALIBRATES THE EXTENT OF HIS KNEE PAIN...  

Spindles are parts of locks and wards are instructions, so Ryan Ward received instructions to be the key to unlock the Haughmond defence and he kind of did so… Skipper Holden (holdin’ midfielder?) and creator Dove came more and more into this match and the visitors, a solid unit for the most part, were finally undone. 

Interesting that Willenhall is also known for making grid irons and St Faith was tortured by Roman soldiers on a grid iron in antiquity, a Saint I have written a lot about, but far be it from me to end with a shit poem about her, so I’ll quote Shakespeare instead and I will therefore probably escape the abuse of Forum posters from this neck of the woods… Shakespeare wrote about Haughmond’s Bosky Hill:

“How bloodily the sun begins to peer

Above yon bosky hill?

The day looks pale

At his distemperature.”

Fruit cake and Rice Krispies ended my 64th year…

It’s what I do.

TEAMS:

WILLENHALL TOWN:

Tim Patterson, Lyndon Weller, Adam Holloway, Paul Holden (Capt), Graham Ashton, Craig Sudlow, Danny Hemmings, Matty Dove, Eddie Wynne-Wilson, Matt Dorgan, Kieran Robinson.

SUBS:

Simon Laidley, Mikey Clark, Adji Gnadji, Ryan Ward, Dan Bryson.

HAUGHMOND: 

(Even though, hilariously, the names were not written down in number-order on the team-sheet…)

Sam Jones, Louis Irvine, Tom Hewitt (Capt), George Taylor, Carl Rogers, Scott Ruscoe, Matt Fletcher, Matty Jones, Scott Graham, Kevin Renshaw, Steve Hole.

SUBS:

Dave Howarth, Dan Perry, Tom Groves, Matt Burton, Ed Ashlin.