LEICESTER ROAD 1-2 COVENTRY UNITED: light-hearted match report by THE MOWDOG...

Farrell Bags Three Points At the Death…

Leicester Road 1-2 Coventry United

The last series of ‘Silent Witness’ on TV irritated me because although the plots were intriguing, the final fifteen minutes of each story were so remarkably conveniently staged, that I was totally pigged off by its ridiculous simplicity. This game in rainy Hinckley, the knitting town, was panning out to be the achingly typical footy story: a fortunate free-kick for the hosts, a subsequent goal scored, Coventry then unable to finish promising attacks, their goalie saving a penalty and it seemed that that would change the game; ‘the turning point’ and all that. It didn’t and the United offense continued to flatter to deceive, before the home defence was gradually overrun, as if a herd of wildebeest was on the rampage, but the story STILL didn’t pan out. Coventry failed to score a goal and the final minutes arrived with frustration all around, melees in the Leicester goalmouth and disappointment for the travelling supporters. And then, spookily, fate took a hand: Charlie Cook’s free-kick skipped off others’ legs, like it was on a pinball machine and Coventry were level, then they were awarded a corner in the final minute of added time. Connell Farrell, United’s new signing from Copsewood, benefited from the Leicester goalie’s second punch in a terrible goalmouth scramble, like it was a skirmish outside a night club in Broad Street in Birmingham and the wide-player slammed the ball deep into the Leicester net to demonstrate just how those ‘Silent Witness’ episodes should REALLY end: in thrills and unexpectedness… Victory, amazement, joy and disbelief for Coventry; defeat, shock, distress and disbelief for Leicester Road…

God & Rat are in on the toss...

Jayden ‘I thought he’d left…’ Rickhuss, he of the inability just to be quiet for more than 31 seconds and the man in proud possession of a degree in Knitting from the University of Hinckley, wore a pure white baseball cap and a pure white jumper at the Pershore game on Saturday, to coordinate with his girlfriend’s pure white  VW Polo car, which he drove that day and so when Coventry emerged for this game in pure white, as a mark of respect for Jayden’s cool presence in Hinckley, his Alma Mater, it seemed that this suggested a match nickname for The Cagemen… White, spiritual and ghostly, they will be called ‘The Spooks’…

Jayden in dark leisurewear, reveals a new, non-knitted cap...

Messing up the back of his shirt rather quickly, Josh O’Grady was tripped early and when his low free-kick was blocked by the Leicester defensive wall, Tom McGlinchey sent a superb through-pass for the dangerous Amarvir Sandhu to chase centrally. However, Ben Vallance matched the winger step for step and won out, allowing ‘keeper Rich Morris to clear. O’Grady took a 23 yard pot-shot for The Spooks but a deflection offered a left-side corner, which the guests could only swing into the arms of home goalie Will Highland. Jamie Coleman, tussling with the spirited, willing and often too isolated home striker Jamie Hicks, was penalised, much to his annoyance and with his body rippling with venom, we were all treated to a fine appreciation of the sound central defender’s tattoos. Lloyd Gamble gambled by shooting the resulting free-kick from 25 yards, inside-right channel but with the annoyingly loud Leicester Road Slade Tribute duo bellowing near my left ear, the effort at goal curled past the right upright.

BLAKE TELLS THE REFEREE THAT HE REALLY DOESN'T LIKE SLUGS...

UP GOES WARRIOR BRISCOE...

A neat response from The Spooks, involving Farrell, then the warrior-like Ross Briscoe ended with Josh Rat Blake getting into a dangerous position near the left upright but the home defence smothered the danger. The game was becoming an offensive push by Coventry but being thwarted by the outstanding defensive play of the deep-lying Leicester Road, for whom central defender Josh Smith was magnificent. On a Leicester break however, Morris was sold a little short by Vallance’s pass-back in the wet, greasy conditions and the ‘keeper miscued his kick but Sam Munton was unable to capitalise, mistiming his attempted lob and allowing Morris to retrieve the ball with some relief. Fine play by Coleman led to a pass for Farrell, whose low centre was claimed by Highland, Jean ‘Hard Arse’ Dakouri worked the right flank but ran the ball out for a goal-kick and Blake’s overhead pass square to O’Grady ended with a low shot, a deflection and a right-side corner, which was headed upwards and much too high by Briscoe.

DAKOURI LOOKS FOR SOMETHING TO RECYCLE INTO FASHIONABLE HEADGEAR...

Leicester were not finding their passing game, or even retaining possession very easy and in truth, the hosts were limited to feeding off broken down attacks by their guests, which would strangely lead to more clear-cut opportunities for the hosts than they were allowing The Spooks, who were too often bogged down and too often frustrated by inaccuracy. A clever O’Grady pass for Blake at inside-right saw Rat slide to gain possession at the right side of the penalty-box but from a fine, if acute position, his resulting powerful shot was too high. Pierre Moudime raced onto a flick by O’Grady but the right-back’s leggy cross from the byeline was deflected to Highland. A free-kick by visiting skipper Callum Burgess caused an interesting scenario; Leicester headed the ball out, Farrell’s shot from 18 yards soared into the net but a linesman’s flag had already been raised, presumably against Briscoe in the first instance but I would be surprised if that was correct, having watched video coverage. Odd.

"REALLY SORRY REF, BUT I  WATCHED THE OREGON DUCKS' QUARTERBACK MARCUS MARIOTA ON TV LAST COLLEGE SEASON AND HE USED TO SLIDE TO AVOID BEING TACKLED HARD, SO I RECKONED IT WOULD BE OK..."
ER, NO, CONNOLL...

"THAT'S M-A-R-I-O-T-A..."

A remarkable long run from his own half by Farrell ended with a loose touch, a slide, a foul and a caution, before the referee angered The Spooks, surprised the spectators and scorned Burgess by adjudging the defender to have handled the ball deliberately, as he controlled it 20 yards out and it had skidded up against his arm, quite accidentally, surely? Leicester didn’t mind, sniggered a lot and skipper Greg Downes curled a brilliant free-kick into the top left corner of the net, with Morris helpless, to give the hosts a fortunate and surprise lead.

1-0 TO THE LEICESTER ROAD...

In a trance, The Spooks were then guilty of failing to track the elusive Sandhu, who avoided Moudime’s ‘hang a flailing leg’ challenge at inside-left but was then floored inside the 18 yard box by the defender’s second attempted tackle, to produce the perfect mistimed challenge. Striker Hicks stepped forth to shoot the spot-kick but Morris guessed correctly, plunged down and right, like a bear onto a young elk and turned the ball past the upright. Incredibly, with The Spooks still wandering about the surroundings to little or no effect, they allowed Sandhu another run at inside-left but again Morris was alert to the danger and he pushed the forward’s 20 yard drive aside for another corner with a neat dive to his right. 

GIFT MUSSA, RIGHT, APPEARS TO HAVE LOST HIS SKI-STICKS TO SLALOM PAST CHALLENGES WITH... 

THE BEAR GRILLED THE PENALTY TAKER...

The half ended with The Spooks shaken but having secured the majority of possession, albeit not managing to create much in the way of goal-chances. The hosts had managed four decent opportunities on goal, had taken one and it needed a real effort after the interval for the visitors to claw something from a game that Leicester Road were intent on winning. Gift Mussa and Jean Dakouri, despite their sheer effort in midfield, were missing a creative influence, for if O’Grady wasn’t dribbling, meandering, or conjuring, little was emerging from The Spooks’ offense and Blake, Briscoe and Farrell were rarely affecting the encounter. Short corners and quickly taken free-kicks had plagued Coventry and threats from set-pieces had been negligible. 

A couple of early corners for The Spooks came to nought as usual but Blake soon set up Farrell for a 15 yard effort at goal from inside-left but Highland flung out his hands and beat away the winger’s rising drive. A period of endangerment then began to emerge on the Coventry right, usually involving Moudime and O’Grady, whose flicks and feeds were causing home left-back Jack Harrison some real consternation and when Moudime was sent to the byeline by O’Grady, the far post centre was smartly headed back inside for the unmarked Briscoe but the striker blotted his homework book by heading much too high. Moudime soon made a fine run to the right byeline but Highland did well to parry his near post shot away for a corner. Morris collected a Sandhu drive easily from a quickly taken free-kick, as Leicester trod water, O’Grady took a tumble and was awarded a free-kick, following a dribble, although home midfielder Jake Holt badgered the official in his annoyance at O’Grady’s fall but Tricky’s 23 yard free-kick rose too high to threaten the goal-frame.  

RATTY BLAKE: "REF, THERE'S A SLUG ON THE GRASS.
DON'T LIKE THEM..."

The Spooks sent in a couple of crosses but nobody could manage a header, then O’Grady, from an angle, drove in a shot, which might have been touched by Highland as it rose over the bar, yet Blake’s expression read: “Why not pass?” Dakouri was forced to foul an opponent to kill a break and he was cautioned, a Holt free-kick from the left appeared to strike Sandhu and allowed Dakouri to break away for The Spooks; O’Grady freed Mussa for a run on the right but Highland caught the eager midfielder’s centre at the near post.  Dakouri was then sent running to the right byeline, something which Leicester still didn’t seem to be able to combat, but Blake’s close-range flick from Dakouri’s low centre rapped the home crossbar and with Smith leading his troops by example, it seemed that the ball would never go past Highland. Dakouri ran on the right again and appeared to be taken out by Highland as he reached the byeline, before Coleman headed a corner by O’Grady too high from about 12 yards.

Moudime, for all his running and rampant efforts, was replaced by Muzzy Nduna, The Spooks changed shape to a back-three and suddenly, in Nduna, they possessed a player with neat footwork on the right, who began to put even more pressure on the home defence. Nduna freed Mussa to the right byeline and with Blake challenging at the near post, the ball popped up into a surprised Highland’s gloves. A fine right-side centre by O’Grady, chest-high, flew onto Blake’s head, just 4 yards out but from a twisted position, like a rat trying to exit a sack, Blake’s awkward header bounced past the left stick. Nduna then played a fine one-two with O’Grady but the substitute’s low 20 yard drive was disappointing and wide of the right upright. 

"HI, I'M MUZZY... CAN YOU SUGGEST A HAIR-COLOUR FOR THE VASE ON SATURDAY?"

Briscoe was replaced by Charlie Cook and suddenly, Leicester were facing a different threat from the precocious forward but Farrell suddenly blasted onto the scene, only to deliver a wild cross, then a wild shot, following Burgess’ right-side centre. Things hotted up even more, Leicester were desperately hanging on still but won an attacking free-kick, taken short on the right, from which Holt crossed perfectly onto Sandhu’s head, near post, 8 yards out, but despite having left Nduna behind, the forward’s free header went over the right angle of bar and post. O’Grady fell in the penalty-box, saw a tough shot superbly blocked by Smith, then the central defender upended O’Grady 20 yards from goal in exasperation at The Cageman’s fine control at inside-left. Smith was cautioned and Cook brewed up an exciting finish to the game by smashing a low drive into the net, which took deflections past Highland and the teams were level at last.

"NO JOY SHIT, I JUST SCORE GOALS AND FROWN..."
(WORDS BY CHARLIE COOK...)

"...SO WHAT SHALL I DO NEXT?"

Gamble was cautioned for a bad challenge, Highland saved yet another O’Grady shot, a Farrell cross was deflected for a corner then Vallance set up O’Grady for another effort at goal and a deflection offered The Spooks a last, final, desperate opportunity to deservedly win the match. O’Grady’s flag-kick was fisted away by Highland in traffic, Dakouri fired in a low shot from 8 yards, which was blocked by Coleman, but defenders hacked at the ball as Blake swung his boot from a yard out and the ball was blocked on the goal-line by Munton, before he ballooned the ball up for Highland to punch out again… But… The ball flew to Farrell, left side of the penalty-box and 12 yards out; he controlled the ball, waited for it to drop and whacked it goalwards, and in a moment of incredible silence, the shot powered into the right corner of the net, past so many bodies, boots and bewilderments… The crowd erupted, Farrell raced to the half-way line in abject joy and the game ended immediately after Leicester kicked off again… My friend Colin’s reaction was: “Heartbreaking…” I turned on him in exasperation but he had meant for goalkeeper Highland… He was right.  

OMG...
FARRELL HAS WON IT...

A great win by the visitors but a terribly upsetting defeat for Leicester Road. The effort by Coventry to steal the points was exemplary, even if sometimes the offense was cloaked in inaccuracy. The team didn’t stop believing however and Leicester suffered. Smith, Highland and Sandhu impressed for the hosts but I was well impressed by their lone-forward Hicks, despite his penalty-miss, for his work-rate was unfailing. The Spooks were again fairly solid in defence, where skipper Burgess was unflappable and the mean-eyed Coleman has hit a real vein of strong form. No use faulting Mussa and Dakouri, for they didn’t stop but Vallance was stylish in defence, Farrell and Cook finally scored and Nduna’s brief appearance added something a little different… 

VICTORY FROM DEFEAT...

JOY...

UPSETTING FOR HIGHLAND...

HAPLESS COMPLAINTS...

GOALIE SYMPATHY...

DISBELIEF...

HUMANITY FROM JAMIE COLEMAN...

In comparison to the Coventry fans’ raucous response to the victory and Leicester Road’s noisy fan-duo, I was left to take in this unlikely ending and I became, on the drive back to Solihull, the silent witness…

THANKS FANS...

NO, THANK YOU...

WARM-DOWN...

BEAR TELLS TRICKY THAT HE HAS AN ELK TO GRILL...

TERRY SAYS: "YOU'VE WUN NUTHIN' YET.
AND CAN ANYONE SHOW ME HOW TO USE A COMPUTER?
THEY'VE NOT REACHED SCOUSELAND YET..."

MATCHWINNERS CONNOLL FARRELL AND CHARLIE COOK...

TEAMS:

LEICESTER ROAD:

Will Highland, Lloyd Gamble, Jack Harrison, Jake Holt, Josh Smith, Callum Riley, Sam Munton, Tom McGlinchey, James Hicks, Greg Downes (Capt), Amarvir Sandhu.

SUBS:

Andy Farren, James Awodiya, Jack Humphries, Joseph Lyne, Ricky Blewitt (gk).

COVENTRY UNITED:

Rich Morris, Pierre Moudime, Ben Vallance, Gift Mussa, Jamie Coleman, Callum Burgess (Capt), Josh O’Grady, Jean Dakouri, Josh Blake, Ross Briscoe, Connoll Farrell.

SUBS: 

Muzzy Nduna, Charlie Cook, Kiam Galdins, Nathan Stoute, Joe Connor (gk).