BABY GAS MASKS IN WORLD WAR TWO: A POEM...

Maud And The Baby Gas Masks

Mrs Phillips next door to us,

Maud, she liked to be called,

Had triplets born within two hours

And the nurses were quite appalled.

All three were ugly, just like their mum

And loud, their cries were like shouts;

The boy grew up smelling like cabbage,

The girls both reeked of sprouts.

Once when they were two years of age

Maud set off to the store

To claim her rations and stand in a queue

And her pram sagged close to the floor.

A bag, an umbrella and three baby gas-masks

Hung from the contraption on wheels;

The triplets bobbed their heads up and down

Like three identical seals.

A siren sounded: Gas Attack!

And Maud was forced into action,

Pulled on her own mask terribly quickly

Improving her looks just a fraction.

She panicked and looked at the bawling brats,

The smell of soiled nappies was acute;

She grabbed one of their masks, then grabbed little Tommy

And shoved in the wailing young brute.

She strapped him in and belted him up

Then forced in six pumps of air;

She repeated the process with Madeline and young 

Florence,

All done with the minimum of care.

The triplets were bellowing, taking minimal breaths,

Their nappies were gradually filling;

She hung the masks on the sides of her pram

And prayed she’d get home, “God willing…”

Big Maud unlocked her door and unclipped the babes

Then carried them into the hall;

The masks came off, they had all survived,

Despite the rather close call.

The tears still flowed but the masks lay silent,

They had done their jobs well, no doubts

Yet when Maud removed hers there was the 

unmistakeable odour

Of faeces, cabbage and sprouts…

Pete Ray

READY FOR ASSISTANCE...

HAVING TROUBLE GETTING THE BEAR TO STAY INSIDE...

A HORSE'S GAS MASK...

JUST RIGHT TO FIT THE NOSEBAG...

About an imaginary Brummie woman having to deal with triplets and three baby gas masks in World War Two, en route to the shops… 

Birmingham didn’t actually suffer from a gas attack but the 

difficulty parents would have had even placing one baby inside one of those monstrosities was obvious.

In my WW2 sessions at Birmingham Museum, a child would assist me to place a teddy bear inside a baby gas mask, resulting in the bear falling on its head, on its legs, on its arms, or flat on its face…

But it didn’t die from gas inhalation I guess…