BROMSGROVE SPORTING 3-0 LEICESTER ROAD: light-hearted match report by THE MOWDOG...

Sandhu Loses Head, Butt Roused Rouslers Rumble On Behind Coventry’s Cagemen

Bromsgrove Sporting 3-0 Leicester Road

An unfortunate incident between Sporting’s Aaron Roberts and Leicester Road’s Amarvir Sandhu soured the first-half of this competitive match. A left-wing corner by the impressive Tom McGlinchey for the guests saw Roberts and Sandhu brabbling on the goal-line, Roberts’ hands appeared to grab at Sandhu, who was then shoved in the back by home ‘keeper Chris Jay but Sandhu thrust his skull at Roberts too and the incident was spotted by the officials, with Sandhu being dismissed by the catchpole, the arresting official. Sandhu, skilled and mild-mannered and not at all a hewer or a puncher from my previous experiences of watching him, walked away all amort and Leicester Road were left with a mountain to climb. The direct running, pace and clinical finishing of Sporting’s Reece Hewitt had given the Rouslers a 2-0 lead at the interval and despite the creditable and typically footballing response from the plucky visitors, a late, rather fortunate Sean Brain strike settled the issue. The victory was important for the hosts in their quest to catch league leaders Coventry United and only a doddypoll would write them off with a home match against the Cagemen still to come. 

Add up the ages of the officials and one reaches 33...

Thought I’d utilise some commonly used 16th century words in the report below but there is a glossary at the end… 

A bit of a wimpy kick-off...

The hosts rushed into an early lead as Will Tibbetts’ early ascendancy over Sandhu on the Sporting right led to some tricky moments for competent Leicester left-back Jack Harrison. Tibbetts’ work and Collins’ header enabled Kyle Turner to nudge the busy Liam Spink onto the ball and his pass left to Hewitt, 15 yards out at inside-left resulted in a sweeping first-timer beyond goalie Will Highland and high into the left side of the net. Just like that. Hewitt was mobbed by his copesmates, the scryers were foretelling a successful afternoon for the Rouslers and the home fans went a little Tom o’ Bedlam…

Hewitt is there somewhere...
1-0.

Pugilist Craig Jones, left, moans that someone's messed up his hair and he's being interviewed after the final whistle...

An unnecessary caution for a foul way upfield by Leicester's central defender Callum Riley offered further miasma to the guests’ cause, who needed to reform, regain some composure and wrench up their netherstocks. A rash but successful ball-winning challenge by Nathan Walker was correctly penalised by the official, which left Walker with a head full of bees then Spink was cautioned for roughness, but a 28 yard free-kick effort by Leicester’s Jake Holt, one of my badger’s favourite players, dropped past the left post as the scurrying Jay slithered in the mire. Connor Collins battled on the left flank for Bromsgrove but Turner was only able to stab the ball past the near post then Tibbetts fed freebooter Hewitt but this time his 24 yard effort took a deflection for a corner, which came to nought. Craig Jones conceded a corner at the opposite end and as the visitors, through the enterprising McGlinchey, attempted to regain parity, tall striker James Hicks, who I rate at this level for his ball protection and heading ability, nearly equalised. He bent low to glance a header from Joe Lyne’s measured delivery but Jay, advancing, managed to get a touch on the ball and deflect it wide of the right upright.

Caution for Riley...

Caution for Spink...

Harrison got under McGlinchey’s right-side corner though and his header looped way too high. Turner had a shot blocked for Sporting, Tibbetts’ near post centre saw Collins unable to direct his header anywhere but too wide and high, then with Tibbetts really causing Sandhu some hassle, Spink, Collins and Hewitt all began to threaten. From a right-wing corner, Jones rose to head for goal, only to be denied on the goal-line by McGlinchey, before skipper Downes hacked the ball away as Turner shoved the next loose ball into the 6 yard box. Another corner was glanced on by Roadie Hicks and Jones’ cushioned header dropped only just over Highland’s cross-beam but the keen contest changed, following a left-wing McGlinchey flag-kick at the other end.

Sandhu admires Harrison's cross...

Sandhu was slipped free on the left by McGlinchey, following a neat run, the winger passed the ball across goal, cutting Jay out of the equation and as Hicks awaited his moment to convert, Tibbetts launched himself towards his own goal at the near post to concede a corner. Sandhu and Roberts then entered into their scuffle as the ball was headed clear, Sandhu walked off sadly to leave his team a man light but afterwards it was Leicester Road who threatened first. A fine Harrison run, including a wall-pass with Hicks, caused danger and a curling free-kick from the left by the innovative McGlinchey forced Jay to open his left wing and flap the ball away as it swung in towards the far stick.

...and is then dismissed...

And then the runagate, Hewitt sprinted into action again to steal another goal, like a prigger of prancers in the night. He raced past Sam Munton, Lyne and Holt, who couldn’t halt him, then sprinted between Riley and Josh Smith, before smacking an emphatic low drive past the helpless Highland into the lowland of the net. The half came to a close when Hewitt fed the well-involved Walker for a shot, which he sliced and although Collins looked to capitalise upon the loose ball at 18 yards, his first shot was blocked and his second resulted in a simple catch for Highland.

Hewitt again...

Tugga on target...

...and 2-0...

Hold-up by Hicks...

The interval allowed supporters to visit the houses of easement, leaving the cleaning up to the gong farmers, some fans to light their sotweed and for others, including the Pilks XXX Secretary Kim Holland to partake in a gage of booze. Munton would be replaced by Matt Stenson for Leicester Road and the rain drizzled on the players as they re-emerged.

Long ball by Turner...

Bromsgrove went close at the start of the second period, when a slice by Collins allowed Hewitt to set up Walker for a 23 yard shot and his effort was good, if centimetres too high. Walker then passed to Collins, whose effort was blocked, before Hewitt’s rough foul on visiting skipper Downes led to a wasted shot wide by Stenson, following the still creative McGlinchey’s pass. Hicks then fastened onto the ball inside the Rouslers’ penalty-box but Jay scrambled left to shovel the big forward’s low shot past his left upright. Smith then stabbed past the left post and from a right-side corner Downes glanced a header wide of the same stick but Leicester were certainly back in the contest, although after a Walker shot was knocked away at the opposite end, Hewitt drove a left-footer wide of the left post. A good Bromsgrove move fizzled out but then a knock-away of a cross from Spink by Highland led to Roberts, 18 yards out, inside-left (what was he doing there?) curling a measured effort beyond Highland, only for the ball to maybe clip the outside of the far upright.

Question: what's the Coventry United manager's nickname?
"I know, I know..." yells Collins.
"Starr..."

Hewitt, who looked to be carrying a knock after scoring the opening goal, went down hurt and was replaced by Dale Edwards, whose running ability would surely be useful against ten men. Luke Kingsley-Smith replaced Hicks, who was also hurt, having worn strapping on a thigh from the beginning, then Brain and Sam ‘I only score when The Mowdog is absent’ Wills replaced Tibbetts and Turner for the hosts. Highland leapt left to beat away a left-footer from 27 yards by the rampaging Wilson, Walker’s 23 yard free-kick dropped too late and Wills settled into midfield to spray the ball about confidently.

Highland knew little about clinging onto the ball at his near post, as Brain nudged a viscously swinging right-flank Edwards corner goalwards, then after a McGlinchey effort was deflected past the right upright by the dependable home defender Jake Willcox, reminding everyone that Leicester Road were still dangerous, Brain settled the affair, from an assist by the quick, keen central striker Collins. Walker swept the ball clear to the half-way line, left-side and Collins spotted the running Brain, thus releasing his delivery centrally. Brain, defended by two Roadies, Riley and Kingsley-Smith, was unable to take the ball in his stride but this only appeared to wrong-foot the defenders. Kingsley-Smith stumbled and Brain eagerly accepted the inevitable gift to bobble a low shot past the stranded Highland.

No team-mates have rushed to congratulate Brain, so he finds a friend or two in the crowd...

"Thanks, Sam..."
"No worries, Brainy, I just wanna be on The Mowdog's image..."

A smart one-two between Edwards, loping around like a gazelle on the run and Brain, ended with a great tackle by Leicester Road’s Kingsley-Smith, as Highland dived at Edwards’ feet. Kingsley-Smith was then cautioned for an unwise challenge, Wills’ angled free-kick from the right deflected off a team-mate wide of the near post, then Kingsley-Smith, again in the action, drove way too high for the guests. Finally, Wills fed Tibbetts on the left and Wilson nearly capitalised at the upright, only for Downes to deflect the ball wide, albeit unknown to the officials. The foraging Holt drove a low shot well wide at the very end of the game and the visitors were left to ponder their day on the pitch as the stadium emptied and Craig Jones accepted an invitation to be interviewed near the tunnel…

The Antelope strides into the outback...

Did the boxer wear gloves?
Hmm...

Leicester Road: a pleasure to watch...

Bromsgrove had dominated the territorial aspect of this match obviously, but Leicester Road’s passing approach was always admirable. Honest players, no cozeners in the line-up, the Roadies persisted with their ethics. McGlinchey, Downes and Holt were always featuring on offense and Hicks was a more than useful target for passes forward. Bromsgrove have intrigants in their team: Hewitt, who explodes without warning, Brain the Scuttler, Tibbetts the Irritant, Walker the Scrapper and Spink the Harasser. Full-backs Roberts and Wilson flanked the calm and really effective Willcox and Jones, which led of course to some good protection for Jay. Collins and Turner, a twin-spearhead for Sporting, failed to produce a goal but with Hewitt on hand, perhaps they took some of the pressure away from ‘Tugga’… Me? I’m Sam Wills’ puckrel, hence his inability to score in my presence…  

I returned to Solihull, ate at Cafe Saffron in Knowle, a place I consider alderliefest, then, with the New England Patriots leading my Kansas City Chiefs 14-6 at the half, I couched a hogshead, only to find out that the Chiefs had been bundled out of the play-offs 27-20… I wanted to say: “Stow you…” to Patriots’ quarterback Tom Brady…

It’s what I do…

GLOSSARY: 

alderliefest- most dear     catchpole- arresting officer

all amort- dejected     brabble- quarrel

head full of bees- full of crazy notions     copesmate- comrade

Tom o’ Bedlam- mad     cozener- cheater

doddypoll- fool     freebooter- plunderer     

gage of booze- quart of ale     gong farmer- toilet cleaner

hewing and punching- slashing the neck and stabbing the belly

intrigant- one who intrigues     house of easement- loo

miasma- foul vapours     netherstocks- socks     runagate- renegade

puckrel- witch’s familiar, imp (Pixie- my nickname…)     

scryer- fortune teller

couch a hogshead- lie to sleep     prigger of prancers- horse thief

stow you- shut up     sotweed- tobacco

TEAMS:

BROMSGROVE SPORTING:

Chris Jay, Aaron Roberts, Jack Wilson, Nathan Walker, Craig Jones (Capt), Jake Willcox, Will Tibbetts, Reece Hewitt, Connor Collins, Kyle Turner, Liam Spink.

SUBS:

Brendan Kelly, Ethan Hanks, Sam Wills, Dale Edwards, Sean Brain.

LEICESTER ROAD:

Will Highland, Joe Lyne, Jack Harrison, Jake Holt, Callum Riley, Josh Smith, Sam Munton, Greg Downes (Capt), James Hicks, Tom McGlinchey, Amarvir Sandhu.

SUBS:

Matt Stenson, Luke Kingsley-Smith, Andy Farren, James Hartland, Ricky Blewitt.