REDDITCH UNITED 3-1 MERTHYR TOWN: light-hearted match report by THE MOWDOG...

Merthyr Mugged By Redditch Rookie…

Redditch United 3-1 Merthyr Town

New Redditch signing Jazz Luckie took a minute to open the scoring for his new club, capitalising upon a goalkeeping error in the poor conditions at the Valley. Yes, weirdly, a Welsh team had travelled to England to play at the Valley and were seemingly lambs to the slaughter from the start… His second goal was also the result of a defensive error, by Rhys Bagridge this time, which meant an uphill task, albeit downhill after the interval for the Martyrs. They really battled however and after missing one fine chance through striker Kayne McLaggon, Bagridge made up for his earlier mistake and reduced the arrears. United were frayed at the edges by this time and Nick Green, one of the home coaches, who along with manager Liam McDonald, had formed part of the Barwell midfield in their fine FA Vase run a few seasons back, would have been tearing out his hair, had he not been wearing a woolly hat. Then substitute Cameron Young latched onto an added time error by Merthyr’s defence, raced away and tucked a third goal past ‘keeper Tom Bradley to ease the reds’ fears with his first few touches of the ball.    

Ash Evans (4) of Merthyr, brings a spot of drama to the toss... 

Nick Green (fine midfielder at Barwell) hopes the manager won't notice the attempted elbow...

Luckie couldn’t have hoped for a better start to his Reds career, when a left-wing throw by Jordan Cullinane-Liburd was headed out by Merthyr. Max Loveridge knocked the ball forwards to Jamey Osborne, the influential Redditch skipper and he cleverly volleyed the ball goalwards from 19 yards. Sadly, visiting ‘keeper Bradley fell left to save but failed to gather the ball and there was Luckie to forage the rebound and find the net. Sorry Jazz but my camera lifted just as you shot in and I only clearly videoed your skipper’s shot and your celebration. Well, it’s better than a slap across the head with a wet sheep, eh?

1 new forward, 1 minute, 1 shot, 1 goal...

...and Redditch lead 1-0...

Who is 4 and who is 8?

Talking of sheep, which a bunch of Redditch’s fans seemed rather insistent upon doing, albeit in an abusive manner towards their guests, Jim Mutton, (yes, really…) United’s central defender, had a shot blocked, following Osborne’s free-kick and a foul by Town’s Chris Hugh, before Osborne, seemingly having the freedom of the Valley in the opening exchanges, drifted into the right side of the penalty-box but his near post jab was deflected for an unproductive corner by Merthyr’s Gethin Jones. Hugh then struck a drive from the inside-left channel during his team’s first meaningful attack and home goalie Jose Veiga leapt left to touch the ball aside.  

Luckie has been fouled.
Unlucky.

Kyle Haynes looked strong at right-back for the hosts and his pass sent forward Robert Thompson-Brown scurrying into the Town penalty-area, only for Bradley to slither in front of him on the pudding of a pitch to claim the ball. Better play by the Reds led to Bradley catching Thompson-Brown’s shot from 18 yards into his midriff, following a fine defensive tackle on United’s Loveridge by Merthyr’s number 10, also called Brown, Jon Brown, who left his fallen body moulding gravely on the 18 yard line. Bradley fielded an ambitious 30 yard free-kick by Osborne, before the first bellowing of “SHEEPHEAD…” was aimed at a Merthyr player by a fellow with a loud voice, holding a beer.

The Valley Chorus stood at stage right...

Merthyr were not clearing their lines very successfully and some of their booted kicks were agricultural, rather than pastoral, so that the ball kept returning down the slope for them to defend again. Skipper Ashley Evans had been busy, his uniform already splattered with mud, whereas fellow midfielder Jarrad Wright had already bludgeoned into a couple of Reds, like he was a Seattle Seahawks linebacker late-hitting the opposing quarterback. The referee had been lenient thus far. A neat pass left by lively Martyr Ian Traylor (thanks for reminding me of one of my least favourite Villa players ever, Ian Taylor…) set up striker McLaggon for a shot but to the jeers of the drinking Red-fans, his effort rose way off target. Traylor then made a fine move at inside-right, firing a 20 yard drive over Veiga, only to hold up his hands in despair as the ball clipped the top of the cross-beam. 

The Martyrs announce their presence...

As often happens in this strange footy game we watch and shout nasty things at, when one team misses and the other team scores instantly, so Redditch did, although the assist was down to Merthyr’s Bagridge, a martyr to the cause. Untidy play on the Redditch right ended with a hook forward by Will Richards, which bounced over Bagridge’s head and he was forced to turn to head the ball back towards Bradley, for Luckie was on his heels. Unfortunately, Bradley was advancing quickly and the ball drifted over the ‘keeper and rolled conveniently towards the net, allowing lucky Luckie to get a touch too as the effort nudged the near post. Bagridge looked sheepish, he took almighty stick from the raucous Valley Chorus and his team was in the mire.

Oh dear, Merthyr have self-destructed...

...and it's 2-0 to Redditch...

Thompson-Brown and Hugh went into a challenge for a loose ball but the Valleyman arrived slightly later and chopped the Martyr down. Hugh looked hurt, the referee cautioned the Redditch man and the home fans screamed derision at the officials, with the slim, young linesman in front of them bearing the brunt of the profanities. He must have enjoyed his day considerably, for the abuse rarely faltered. After Osborne’s smart run to the left byeline, Luckie nearly got a foot to the ball at the near post but then the striker broke cleverly past his marker on the right but his quick low cross-field pass towards George Carline caught the United man offside, although his low shot went wide anyway. The half ended with a free-kick to Merthyr, in front of their keen fans, behind their black and white flags but it took the combined efforts of Mutton and solid defensive partner Calum Flanagan to clear the danger with a pair of headers. The resulting left-side corner struck a Red in the body, as a line of home fans streamed round the stadium to purchase another beer from the baa (sorry, bar.)…

Half-time occupation...

The second period proved to be a different proposition as Merthyr fought hard to get back in the game but in truth, with neither team possessing any real width, the long-ball game, admittedly on a poor pitch, was the norm, as illustrated by the number of headers both pairs of central defenders were forced to make. Flanagan was in his element though, defending like he was rallying around General Custer’s last stand. Town had needed to quell the influence of Osborne but both Loveridge and Carline for Redditch were big chaps and aerially, the visitors found winning the ball tough. Thanks go to Loveridge and Richards by the way, for interchanging numbers… 4 is 8 is 4…

The recipients of verbal abuse...

Luckie fed Thompson-Brown for an effort at goal, which he had to dig out, before Evans was cautioned for fouling Osborne. Bradley collected a deflected Thompson-Brown delivery, Haynes defended superbly when Hugh fed Traylor and Carline drove too high from 23 yards. The game was scrappy, it became scrappier as the substitutions began to interrupt the proceedings more and with Merthyr flocking down the slope, the Valley Chorus became understandably nervy and frustrated, leading to even more and even more unpleasant verbal abuse for the small band of away fans, their players, the referee and the poor linesman nearby. So, I was amazed that Luckie applauded the bellowers when he was soon replaced by Alex Fletcher. 

Merthyr battling back...

Hugh was replaced by live-wire Kerry Morgan for the visitors and after the small patch of beach on the grass held up the ball and nearly embarrassed the advancing Bradley again, Thompson-Brown overran the ball out for a goal-kick. The tide (get it?) was turning, however and the visitors, with Evans prominent, were pushing Redditch back, although little real penetration was being achieved. Haynes was cautioned for a dive, when tackled, before the visitors finally fashioned a chance, after Loveridge had cleared a right-flank corner. The ball was fed right to Morgan, whose cross was dangerous and evaded everyone except McLaggon at the far post but his lunge sent the ball over the goal-frame from a couple of yards out. 

Cullinane-Liburd wastes moments...

Jamie Molyneux replaced Loveridge for the hosts, then soon Carline fed Thompson-Brown on the left touchline, as Redditch broke and the forward’s fine diagonal pass released the latest substitute on the right but the move fizzled out. Osborne planted a 22 yard free-kick just over the Merthyr pen and then the game changed, for the visitors found a goal, through Bagridge. A Morgan free-kick on the right took a touch off Flanagan’s head and was volleyed at goal by the stretching Bagridge at the far post, only for Veiga to make a fine, diving stop. Bagridge however, belied the chants of the Valley Chorus, who had deemed that he wasn’t very good, by ramming the rebound deep into the net.

2-1 now...

...but barely a celebration...

A left-wing centre by the visitors really ought to have brought an equaliser, for Traylor lurked beyond the far post, only for his volley to seemingly fly from the toe of his right boot and Veiga saved with ease. Traylor’s look of horror was that of a sheep’s expression, facing the dip trough. Jaye Bowen replaced Bagridge for the guests and then Cameron Young appeared in place Carline for the hosts and what an impact he had… An error, as the visitors attempted to get the ball forward again, left them sheared. The mistake released Young through the centre and he raced clear to slip the ball past Bradley and into the bottom left corner of the net. 3-1 and the Martyrs were dead and buried.

Young has scored on the break...

3-1 now...

Osborne and Evans led their teams well, Hugh and Traylor had the best goal-attempts for the guests, whereas Luckie was dangerous for the home team, using good anticipation to claim his brace. Flanagan and Mutton were stoic in defence for Redditch, as Merthyr attempted to shove the ball down their defensive throats during the final 20 minutes but Redditch grabbed the win and won’t complain. 

More time is wasted at the Valley...

I once ordered a chicken curry in a pub in St Mawgan, Cornwall, but received something which tasted awful. Turned out to be a mutton curry, for the menu hadn’t been updated. Hated it. This was brought to mind by Jim’s name. I saw Merthyr’s fans warmly welcomed at the Valley, encouraged to buy food and take a drink in a welcoming bar. Then they were harassed, verbally. I hope that the young kids who were in the vicinity don’t return to school next week with a more varied vocabulary and an aggressive attitude towards other kids in the playground. They were taught well today…

TEAMS:

REDDITCH UNITED:

Jose Veiga, Kyle Haynes, Jordan Cullinane-Liburd, Max Loveridge, Jim Mutton, Calum Flanagan, Jamey Osborne (Capt), Will Richards, Jazz Luckie, Rob Thompson-Brown, George Carline.

SUBS:

Cameron Young, David Bridgwater, Alex Fletcher, Jamie Molyneux. 

MERTHYR TOWN:

Tom Bradley, Adam Davies, James Bloom, Ashley Evans (Capt), Gethin Jones, Rhys Bagridge, Chris Hugh, Jarrad Wright, Kayne McLaggon, Jon Brown, Ian Traylor.

SUBS:

Scott Tancock, Jaye Bowen, Kerry Morgan, Cameron Clarke.