PERSHORE TOWN 1-5 COVENTRY UNITED: lighthearted match report by THE MOWDOG...

Cagemen Plunder the Points In Pershore Pantomime Production

Pershore Town 1-5 Coventry United

View from the shelter...

Grabbed a seat early...

Sodden grass, sandy touchline & dripping pole...

On this rain soaked evening my daughter was involved in a dress-rehearsal for her village’s pantomime a few miles down the road from Pershore, in Norton. She is performing as ‘Little John’ in ‘Robin Hood’. Which is hardly type-casting… I will see the show on Friday evening. So, when Coventry United goalkeeper Richard Morris’ hefty frame appeared in the rain at King George V Stadium, decked in a costume of lurid pink, the pantomime dame was there for all to see. The referee, quietly going about his job in awful conditions, dismissed a home player for pulling over an opponent, which was surely harsh in the circumstances but true to panto’ form, although United fluffed the penalty-kick with the Scouse voice of Coventry coach Terry Anderson yelling like he was auditioning for the part of Baron Hardup in ‘Cinderella’. Her two sisters? Possibly unwise of me to speculate. However, Coventry capitalised upon their numerical advantage and rapped in five goals to plucky Pershore’s one, despite the fine offensive play of Jacob Snape for the hosts and all-round efficiency of Jake Donnelly. When Josh ‘Tricky’ O’Grady’s web (not Pershore’s Steve Webb, I add, hastily…) of a month’s inactivity was washed from him by the persistent downpour, he affected the game strongly and Pershore conceded three goals in the latter, tiring stages of the match-up. The United supporters became the panto’ audience, enjoying their own vociferous participation and Josh Blake, a replacement on the night, was a perfect Jack to Pershore goalie James Cutts’ Beanstalk…

Edwin notices that an opponent has placed the wrong legs to the wrong hips...

Callum Burgess: off for a paddle...

Callum Burgess, warming up, jogged to the touchline and announced that the conditions were bad and that he thought the game would last 20 minutes, which is probably why the announcer welcomed Coventry United’s fans for their “…short stay…” but the referee’s decision seemed correct and the game was eminently watchable. The difficult cast members’ names, such as Moudime, Moyo and oddly, Blythe and Hutchcox, caused some awkwardness in the team announcements but hey, that’s panto’! The early exchanges saw a lofted shot by the busy home forward Dan Carter and a similar effort by Cageman Errol Douglas, following good work down the right flank by Pierre Moudime, who has been admired by other watchers from other teams this season. Cutts tapped down a decent shot by Tommy Glasscoe for Coventry and the midfielder would prove to be as industrious as Cinders in the kitchen before the ball.

The Dame discusses his script with Jamie Coleman...

Is that O'Grady practising for his role as a panto' horse?

Jake Donnelly: looked good...

Matt Brown’s right-side cross for the guests was intercepted and then the impressive Donnelly made a fine run at inside-left, only for Snape, his long locks limp from the deluge, to fluff his touch from an angle. O’Grady’s first meaningful dribble fizzled out, then Carter left Jamie Coleman behind and drove a low delivery across the face of The Dame’s goal. Douglas won a corner but O’Grady and Moudime took it short and little came of it but soon O’Grady’s free-kick from the right, shoved low for Richard Blythe to move onto, led to home midfielder Dane Aldington pulling him backwards, as he attempted to shoot past Cutts from close range. A penalty was awarded but then the official sent Aldington from the stage, like he was the booed wolf in ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ and Pershore were up against it. Brown went to the ball (get it?) but shot the spot-kick straight at the middle of goal, where the long legs of Cutts still were and the ball bounced away off the ‘keeper’s feet. Douglas managed a gentle downward header from the rebound scuffle but Cutts fell right, dramatically, to tip the ball past his right post.

Tricky moment for O'Grady...

Sad moment for Dane...

However, Coventry soon took the lead and Blythe, who had received Carter’s headed clearance from an O’Grady corner, then side-stepped Carter’s challenge 19 yards out and struck the ball with the outside of his right boot, arrowing a shot as true as a delivery from Robin Hood’s bow into the bottom left corner of the net. A fine finish.

0-1: Blythe...

Brown was actually allowed to shoulder-charge an opponent and won a corner, which Cutts dropped at the feet of Brown, although he did fall upon the ball quickly. O’Grady’s next run ended with home defender James Walker deflecting his shot for another corner, which drifted over everyone, like stage smoke, only for Moyo to ram his far post shot well wide. O’Grady then set up Glasscoe for a shot, but this rose way too high, yet soon, the visitors added a second goal, when Moyo ran strongly on the left, slipped the ball inside to Brown and he did the rest, moving into the penalty-box and shooting low beyond Cutts into the far corner of the net.

O'Grady: on the move...

O'Grady: watching...
Keeping his gloves clean too.

0-2: Brown...

Douglas, not enjoying the best of halves, was unable to control a feed from Glasscoe (please don’t tell me he’s from Dundee…) and the hosts, through their consistent left-sided player Donnelly, reduced the arrears, leaving Moudime and Burgess on their bottoms. Bottom was a Shakespearian character, though… Snape, full of running for Pershore, fed Carter on the right, who slipped past Coleman again and Donnelly anticipated the near post centre, ramming a rising shot into the roof of The Dame’s net. 

Bien, Monsieur Moudime...

1-2: Donnelly...

...and how did you spend YOUR evening?

Not short, Cutts again grabbed at an O’Grady corner but dropped it again near Brown, but again the ‘keeper dived upon the loose ball. The opening act came to a close, the curtain of rain came down and I awaited the lady with the tray of ice-cream tubs, who didn’t materialise. Yes, this was panto’ night, for Aston Villa were beating Crystal Palace…

Pershore began the second act with some purpose and used the ability of Carter and Snape to cause The Dame some anguish. An O’Grady run ended when Glasscoe’s attempt to collect a pass saw him off balance and Town attacked on the break, with Snape onside on the left but The Dame advanced to push aside the striker’s shot. Coventry were possibly guilty of not shooting on occasions but perhaps that was due to the poor conditions underfoot and when Brown passed low from the left, nobody appeared to want to fire at goal. When Glasscoe did drive a 20 yard effort from inside-left though, straight at Cutts, the ‘keeper fumbled it, his defenders yelled: “It’s behind you!” He retorted: “Oh no it isn’t…” They bellowed: “Oh yes it is!” And it was. He somehow picked it up before Brown could benefit, fortunately and Pershore breathed again. Another dramatic pantomime moment.

Neither Moyo, nor Douglas could make anything of a Coventry break, but then with little in the way of a challenge by Coventry, Pershore’s Steve Roche fed Snape, who passed to Donnelly and only a fine save by The Dame, plunging low and left, and a hacked clearance by Coleman, kept the hosts out. A foul by Roche on the flattened Glasscoe went unpunished and Pershore so nearly capitalised, as Coventry’s defence demonstrated how opponents of the Harlem Globetrotters play, as Snape was offered no harassment at all, turned, moved, shimmied but then curled a right-booter wide of the right upright. The Dame was displeased and his heavy make-up ran into the pink of his jersey.

Coventry recovered however and dominated the latter scenes, with first Matty Hunt deflecting Brown’s overhead effort wide, Moudime taking a short O’Grady corner and driving the ball wide of the near post, then after the official allowed both teams to get away with rough challenges, Burgess plunged to head O’Grady’s left-flank corner goalwards, only for a defender to chest, then hack the ball from his goal-line. Oli Casey was replaced by Myles Jones for Town, but his introduction was a miserable one, for The Cagemen scored almost immediately. O’Grady collected the ball on the right, cut inside and smacked a shot on the bounce from 20 yards, which scurried past Cutts into the right corner of the net, like Prince Charming escaping from the Ugly Sisters. Cinderella was a poor footballer though; she had a pumpkin for a coach…

1-3: O'Grady...

Understudies then arrived on stage: Josh Blake, usually one half of a pantomime horse with O’Grady, replaced Douglas, Town’s Joe Bates and Ash Bloor replaced Snape (surprisingly) and Roche, then Moudime was given a rest and Chris Cox appeared for Coventry. O’Grady was rampant by now and his trickery led to a smacked shot from an angle on the right, which beat Cutts but was spectacularly cleared from the goal-line by Donnelly, only for United to retrieve the ball and Glasscoe’s low cross to be nudged goalwards by Blake, deflect off home centre-half Shaun Griffiths and force Cutts to palm the ball away from close to his right post. Pershore did manage a Bates header, which The Dame pushed away to his left but when Brian ‘The Messiah’ Ndlovu appeared for United, in place of Brown, he smacked a half-volley at goal almost immediately, following Hunt’s header clear, although Cutts did really well to block the effort and deflect it over the goal-frame.

Water diviner in action...

Blake prepares...

Douglas takes a break...

Brian of Nazareth prepares...

...& replaces Brown...

The fourth and fifth goals came cruelly late for Pershore and Blake was the recipient of an easy chance, when in the chaos after Blake and O’Grady threatened, the ball bounced forward off the boots of Blythe and the eager Blake needed no invitation to turn and score from a few yards out. He slapped his thigh in celebration… 

Well slap my thigh! Blake has scored...

The joy of it...

1-4 now...

Cox then ran onto Blythe’s clipped pass into the right side of the penalty-box and shot low past Cutts to end the scoring and the final curtain dropped on the entertainment.

Late attack from Bloor...

Cutts beaten again...

1-5: Cox...

The Beanstalk was rather Cutts down to size, although in truth the ‘keeper had made some good saves, Donnelly and Snape (shame this is not a Harry Potter themed report…) along with Carter had kept Pershore in with a shout but Coventry had created a number of wasted opportunities and undoubtedly deserved to win the game, despite the referee’s rather blunt decision to dismiss Aldington. When Brian Ndlovu appeared, it was like an unexpected star guest walking onto the stage, akin to Benedict Cumberbatch showing up in Coronation Street but although United were bereft of left-back Ben Vallance, midfielders Gift Mussa and Muzzy Nduna, Blythe and Glasscoe did well enough. Glasscoe also impressed at right-back late on but in fairness, Pershore must have been fatigued by then, like the dwarves in ‘Snow White’ having ‘off to work been’. 

The end 1...

The end 2...

All through the game, Baron Hardup had kept up the bellows, whilst thoughtful Coventry manager Edwin ‘Starr’ Greaves, dressed in black, had lurked like the sinister Abanazar in ‘Aladdin’ but he wasn’t booed at all. He looked wet, depressed and one could see him staring at the sand on the touchline, probably wishing a good fairy would turn him into a guest and it into a Caribbean beach. Blake celebrated his close range finish like he’d killed the Giant on the Beanstalk, although O’Grady refused to enter a horse with him in the bar afterwards, I’m told. I believe that Mr Greaves has been married sixteen times: four richer, four poorer, four better, four worse… So, Edwin, may the fours be with you…

The Bodging meets a dodgy bloke in the bar...

I drove back to Solihull through the rain, wondering whether Richard Morris was more suited to play Little John than my Lucy… He would make a great dame though…

And in true fantasy style, Villa actually BEAT Crystal Palace…

TEAMS: 

PERSHORE TOWN:

James Cutts, Steve Webb, Jake Donnelly, James Walker, Shaun Griffiths (Capt), Matty Hunt, Oli Casey, Dane Aldington, Jacob Snape, Dan Carter, Steve Roche.

SUBS:

Myles Jones, Peter Jenvey, Joe Bates, Ash Bloor, Danny Ludlow.

COVENTRY UNITED:

Rich Morris, Pierre Moudime, Jamie Coleman, Richard Blythe, Martin Hutchcox (Capt), Callum Burgess, Josh O’Grady, Tommy Glasscoe, Errlo Douglas, Matt Brown, Wendel Moyo.

SUBS:

Josh Blake, Marc Passey, Chris Cox, Brian Ndlovu, David Allen.