KIMBERLEY MINERS WELFARE 0-1 HINCKLEY AFC: THE INDEPENDENT, HONEST & LIGHT-HEARTED ALTERNATIVE MATCH REPORT...

 Weale Drags Hinckley To Victory At Kimberley

Kimberley Miners Welfare 0-1 Hinckley AFC

The Mowdog’s thoughts…

In a nutshell, Kimberley failed to capitalise upon more than half of the match with a one-man advantage and in fact, the goal attempts in the final 15 minutes of this often untidy hard-slog of a spectacle were actually made by the visitors. They scored dramatically after two shots by Jack Edwards had drifted off target and even after the goal, midfielder Tyson Knight shot wide when he would have expected to have at least delivered his effort on target. 

ROSE PREPARES TO BEGIN THE GAME...

Adversity was something Hinckley grappled with all afternoon, not only with the windy conditions, occasional rain showers and a sloping, optical illusion of a pitch which was surely laid by landscapers who had spent a couple of hours at the pub before getting down to their work. (Only joking…) Those conditions were the same for both teams but right from the start of this highly anticipated clash, Hinckley felt aggrieved by the rather confusing behaviour of the match referee. I was an independent spectator and even I thought that the visitors seemed harshly treated at times. 

Tom Weale, the Hinckley skipper, was forced to approach the referee several times to enquire why ‘contentious’ decisions were being made against his players. First, winger Isa Abraham cut inside from the left byeline but clearly tumbled as he was challenged. There was no foul but the official raced to Abraham and cautioned him for, er, simulation… 

THE OVER-ZEALOUS EARLY ABRAHAM CAUTION...

Other decisions during the opening period resulted in words spoken by visiting forward Chris Camwell and he was sin-binned close to half-time, meaning a 7 minute period before the break and a 3 minute period afterwards when Hinckley were down to nine men.

WEALE IS SO UPSET WITH THE OFFICIATING AT HALF-TIME, HE HAS SHOVED A METAL POLE INTO HIS MOUTH IN CASE HE SAYS SOMETHING HE SHOULDN'T...

Central defender Ben Vallance had already been dismissed for taking out the useful home winger Nathan Banton who writhed upon the sodden turf. Vallance was deemed to be the last defender although Hinckley’s left-back Mikkel Hirst was running alongside Miners’ Ben Sandhu almost level with the incident but in centre-field. Whatever, Vallance went across to the prostrate Banton in a friendly manner before walking from the field… 

WAITING FOR THE OUTCOME OF VALLANCE'S TACKLE ON BANTON...

SCUFFLE IN THE QUAD'...

TYSON KNIGHT CHOOSES A FINE TIME TO TELL A JOKE TO AN OPPONENT...

...LOOKS LIKE THE OPPONENT DIDN'T GET THE PUNCHLINE...

RED FOR VALLANCE...

The main official seemed to allow one or two fouls on visiting players to go unpunished then when home skipper Sam Brown yelled out loud, after moving past a Hinckley player, the referee responded by awarding a free-kick which prompted a Hinckley coach to bellow to his players that they should yelp when challenged too…

After the break, Camwell was supposed to be in the bin for three more minutes but he wasn’t. I realised that several minutes had gone by after the restart and a linesman remarked, “30 seconds…” Two more minutes elapsed before Camwell was allowed to return to the field of play. Badly done, officials…

It was all rather trivial and unsatisfactory, in truth…

The goalies…

Strangely they made one real save each and even more oddly, the saves were similar, for in each half, first Camwell shot from 25 yards, left-footed but home ‘keeper Danny Rigley fell left to push the ball away although Charlie Evans picked up on the rebound but no colleague was in the 6 yard box to convert. Secondly, after the restart, home replacement Coyle fired in an almost identical shot which Hinckley gloveman Matt Hill saved in similar fashion to his counterpart.

CAMWELL (WEARING GLOVES) HAS BEEN SIN-BINNED.
WEALE IS UNDERSTANDABLY DISPLEASED...

A few catches by Rigley were dotted throughout the match and of course, as time ran on, Hill took as much time in possession as he could eke out from the officials. One home supporter grumbled about this constantly but actually said nothing about his team’s lack of application against ten opposing players…

Luis Rose…

Despite the scoreline this guy featured highly for his team as the main central striker and indeed he mounted seven goal attempts, two of which found the net although on both occasions he was flagged offside. Before the recess he lunged to head onto the roof of the net following a brilliant run by under-used right-wingman Sandhu then after the interval he drove too high twice and shot wide with a falling left-boot volley. However he would rue a wasteful shot wide of the left stick from Banton’s assist before Hinckley scored but his overall contribution was decent.

WEALE TRIES TO THUMB A LIFT UP THE SLOPE...

Otherwise his colleagues mustered a couple of left-side centres by the impressive left-back Tom Eccleshall, one nudged on by the bending Hill, the other untouched by human foot, Philipp Jauch shot wide from downtown and Banton missed a good opportunity with a wayward left post header from a deep Brown centre.

The Hinckley attack…

Despite his caution and one dangerous sortie to the byeline which came to nought, Abraham wasn’t really much of a threat for home right-back Lewis Partridge was quick and effective and only on a couple of occasions was Abraham able to power up his legs into a telling sprint in possession. 

However the goal when it came was as smartly presented as it was a surprise for a point seemed the best result the ten guests could achieve at The Stag Ground. However substitute Dom Alleyne gathered in the ball and fed it right to Kear who shifted inside and fed the overlapping Edwards who generally seems to affect the game in a positive fashion creatively, even a physical and uninspiring tussle like this one…

Edwards rushed towards the right byeline and although his centre became the Hinckley assist, the real assist was by home skipper Brow whose low diving header fell at Kear’s feet, some 14 yards from goal but the substitute’s finish was lethal, right-booted and into the top right corner of the net, leaving Rigley wriggling in the air, clawing at the damp air. 

Tom Weale…

In adversity there is a need for someone to stand up and be counted. Following on from his first-half head-prefect role, liaising with the Headteacher, Weale dropped from the holding midfield role he had adopted earlier to a parental role at the back. And he was bloody good at it…

PREFECT, PARENT, PROTAGONIST:
THE WEALE MAN...

He hacked the ball away when necessary but there was always an assumed confidence about him, as if he were some kind of superior being in whom his flock truly believed. He led fellow defenders Nick Brandish, Ben Whitehead and the excellent Hirst to concentrate, mark when possible and never lose control. They did it.

WEALE STUCK TO HIS TASK...

Weale believed. And he was correct to do so…

The final words… 

A fine welcome from the Kimberley officials was much appreciated and although The Stag Ground was no Worcester Warriors’ Sixways Stadium where I watched Worcester Raiders defeat FC Stratford last Tuesday, what this place owned in bundles was atmosphere, history, quirkiness and a Pétanque court…

What’s not to like?

Hinckley? The excitement of their players, staff and fans when the winning goal went in was something which confirms why non-league football can be so enthralling and emotional…

TEAMS:

KIMBERLEY MW:

DANNY RIGLEY, LEWIS PARTRIDGE, TOM ECCLESHALL, PHILIPP JAUCH, SAM BROWN (CAPT), NICK KNIGHT, BEN SANDHU, MICHAEL PEARSON, LUIS ROSE, LUIS PARKES, NATHAN BANTON.

SUBS:

ELLIS WILLIAMSON, BIJAN PAKROUZ, ADAM MORLEY, AARON COYLE, TAKUNDA MUSHAMBI.

HINCKLEY AFC:

MATT HILL, NICK BRANDISH, MIKKEL HIRST, TYSON KNIGHT, BEN WHITEHEAD, BEN VALLANCE, CHRIS CAMWELL, TOM WEALE (CAPT), CHARLIE EVANS, JACK EDWARDS, ISA ABRAHAM.

SUBS:

JACOB STRUGESS, DREW KEAR, DAN HOSKINS, JEREMIE AGHOLOR, DOM ALLEYNE.