STRATFORD TOWN 7-0 COVENTRY SPHINX: LIGHT-HEARTED MATCH REPORT BY THE MOWDOG...

No Joy At the End of the Rainbow For Sphinx…

Stratford Town 7-0 Coventry Sphinx

Sphinx worked hard and bravely at Stratford but the difference in speed, guile and power between the two teams was evident even before a heavy shower brought a fine pair of rainbows to bear and Will Grocott subsequently edged his team ahead. Two more goals arrived before the interval, including a slightly harsh penalty but in truth, the guests had precious little to offer on offense, as Kieran McCalla and company found defending the movement of hat-trick home striker Richard Gregory and the threat of wide player Charlie Evans rather tough to deal with in the opening 45 minutes. Indeed, Nkosi Mzungwana, defending at left-back for Sphinx, was really up against it for much of the first period. Four more goals arrived after the break, including a brace by replacement Edwin Ahenkorah, who somehow squandered another chance too, which should be a contender for crazy miss of the pre-season, when from a few yards out and slithering on the ground, he managed to strike both posts, one with a grass-level header… Sphinx only really threatened in the closing stages, when home ‘keeper Niall Cooper made one save and then a header from a corner bounced wide of a post but both visiting goalies used were kept very busy until the end. The arrival of Ahenkorah, sounding like a New Kingdom Egyptian Pharaoh, would bury the Sphinx in sand and his two thumping strikes and powerful runs lit up the second period like the laser show at the Giza pyramids.

STRATFORD ENTER, STAGE CENTRE...

HERE COME DA SPHINX...

DOWNES KICKS OFF...

Apologies for any errors in the spellings of names below, or errors of identification, for I only had a team-sheet to work with. Good job I knew Kieran McCalla’s and Nkosi Mzungwana’s names from last season… 

A couple of runs by Sphinx forward Luke Downes were rare sorties by the visitors, although to be fair, his sidekick Liam Cairns won a number of jumping duels from long boots forward by ‘keeper Scott Dutton, so much so that the generally comfortable home defender Liam Francis soon handed over the aerial challenging reins to Guy Clark, allowing himself to pick up the pieces instead. A sensible chap… One hopeful Downes shot was blocked, he maybe ought to have been awarded a corner from another attack and following one smart run, he was fouled, received no free-kick and then chased home defender Jordan Cullinane-Liburd, whom I ruefully thank for the excessive number of letters to type each time I must mention his name. The schoolyard argument was soon sorted out by the referee who did like to shout at people though, possibly underlining the school theme. Already a goal down to Grocott’s neat finish, the penalty for Cairns’ handling of a Jamie Sheldon corner certainly didn’t help Sphinx and when Mzungwana and Lewis Blackmore hesitated and Sheldon’s pass allowed Evans in for goal three, Coventry were all at sea, albeit near a river…

COOPER IN THE RAIN...

Despite dominating the territorial advantage before the interval, passing the ball quickly and making the opposition chase, Town hadn’t really caused Dutton too much anxiety, for Evans was unable to get any purchase on an early opportunity, the winger’s other shot was weak, whereas Will Grocott smacked a 25 yard drive wide and Cullinane-Liburd headed a near post Sheldon corner too high on 45 minutes, so it was left to lively left-back Kieren Westwood to test Dutton, following a one-two with the busy Grocott, which the ‘keeper leapt for and turned over his crossbar. The custodian dealt well with Gregory’s earlier angled effort too, after the forward, wearing the skipper’s armband had been set up by Cullinane-Liburd’s long pass. Gregory’s 26 yard free-kick pot-shot was scooped a good 4 metres too high though, which was interesting because Sphinx’s Downes lifted two similar second-half free-kicks well off target at the same end also. An American Football kicking coach might just have been impressed, however…

"HAVE YOU GOT MY MARBLES?"

'COME ON LADS, IT'S CONKERS SEASON NOW, ANYWAY..."

THE COACHES LOOK A LITTLE HESITANT TO GET INVOLVED...

Stratford’s laudable possession game had stemmed from a calm pair of central defenders, two quick and willing full-backs, a midfield of eager passers and with Evans wide right, Gregory had been free to roam, but Barry Fitzharris was a rock in a hard place, constantly providing the outlet for colleagues. Substitutions obviously changed the rhythm of the game in the second-half but Warren Brooks certainly brought some steel into the Town midfield, making three really harsh tackles and displeasing the official. He was effective though…

FRANCIS PICKS UP THE PIECES...

Apart from Downes’ two wayward free-kicks, Harkin’s header wide from a corner and an angled low drive by replacement number 19 in a red shirt, which Cooper advanced for and beat away, Sphinx were mainly on defensive duties and indeed, one of the best of his challenges saw Downes block a strong angled late effort by Ahenkorah, who had netted almost as soon as he had entered the Stratford theatre. Already 4-0 ahead, after Gregory had forced Dutton into deflecting an angled drive from the left behind the far stick for a corner, the skipper had then pounced to clip a half-volley past the goalie, but Ahenkorah capitalised upon a bad error by the Sphinx substitute wearing 18 to score and a short while later, smashed a fine strike high past the flailing arms of the replacement goal-tender, as well as missing another opportunity, which will not be forgotten easily.

COVENTRY ON THEIR HEELS AGAIN...

Replacement Yannick Gomez lifted an outside of right boot pass with consummate ease for Frankie Baigent on the left-flank to shove low across the penalty-box, where Ahenkorah stretched and nudged the ball against the inside of the right upright but as he sprawled upon the mid-summer turf, he saw the ball rolling back to him and so he somehow attempted to head it, face on grass, only to send it against the other post too… The ensuing scramble led to a drive well over the crossbar by Jarrell Hylton. Baigent looked useful at times on the Town left and nearly capped his evening with a late goal but his low cross-shot rolled past the far post. Westwood went close too, at the end of another incisive move by the hosts, which stemmed from a long Cullinane-Liburd pass, control at 20 yards by Hylton and a clever pass by Gregory to force Westwood between two defenders into a dangerous position, only for the young Coventry ‘keeper to advance and turn to ball aside for a corner.

DOWNES (10): TIRELESS FOR SPHINX...

It remained only for Gregory to complete his hat-trick, following a save by the ‘keeper from the tricky Logan Kelling’s shot but Sphinx, although well beaten, remained robust and worked tremendously hard, with Mzungwana looking better in a more advanced position after the break. Obviously, the weight of statistics was against them: several saves by their goalies, misses by Baigent, Cullinane-Liburd and Gregory, the fine block by Downes from Ahenkorah, the vast majority of possession throughout and the seven strikes which did count. A deserved win against a plucky opponent then and a useful workout for both camps… 

AHENKORAH: A DANGER...

THE GOALS:

1-0:

The rainbows above saw Evans slip Grocott into the left side of the penalty-box and his low, measured curled shot beat Dutton easily.

EVANS, LEFT, HAS SET UP GROCOTT'S OPENER...

2-0:

Gregory struck a penalty into the bottom right corner of the net, as Dutton guessed the wrong way.

2-0 NOW...

GREGORY'S FIRST...
IS THAT A POPE'S NAME?

3-0:

A smart Sheldon pass through inside-right freed Evans, as Mzungwana and Blackmore hesitated and the winger scored from a very narrow angle, just inside the far post, with a low, curled left-footer.

NEAT FINISH BY EVANS...

4-0:

A corner was cleared by Sphinx, Grocott clipped the ball across the 18 yard box from inside-left, right-booted, and Gregory timed his run perfectly at the far side, beat the offside-line and half-volleyed easily past Dutton.  

GREGORY AGAIN...

5-0:  

A defender was caught in possession 20 yards from goal, Ahenkorah fastened onto the ball and roared into the left-side of the penalty-box, before firing his rising shot past the replacement ‘keeper into the top of the net.

AHENKORAH TURNS TO RECEIVE A HUG...

...OR MAYBE TWO OR THREE...

6-0:

A long pass towards the left from defence freed Ahenkorah again and this time he bludgeoned his rising 15 yarder past the goalie’s hapless leap and again into the top left corner of the net.

EDWIN SLIPS HIS DENTURES BACK IN FOR THE PHOTOS...
(NOT REALLY...)

"NEED MY HUGS, MAN..."

"OH. OK, JUST THE ONE THEN..."

7-0: 

Kelling’s 20 yard drive was parried to his left by the goalkeeper but Gregory, always quick to sniff out an opportunity, was on hand as the ball bounced to smash it high into the left side of the net from the right corner of the 6 yard-box.

"WHY DO I BOTHER?"

HAT-TRICK FOR THE SKIPPER...
WHO WANTS HIS AUTOGRAPH?

Teams:

STRATFORD TOWN:

Niall Cooper, Jordan Cullinane-Liburd, Kieren Westwood, Barry Fitzharris, Liam Francis, Guy Clark, Jamie Sheldon, Trey Braithwaite, Richard Gregory (Capt), Will Grocott, Charlie Evans.

SUBS:

Edwin Ahenkorah, Frankie Baigent, Luke Fox, Logan Kelling, Yannick Gomez, Jarrell Hylton.     

COVENTRY SPHINX:

Scott Dutton, Danny Harris, Kieran McCalla, Marc Albrighton, Nkosi Mzungwana, Lewis Blackmore, Ben Steane, Chris Johnson, Liam Cairns, Luke Downes, Mitch Thomson.

SUBS:

Daz Eggleton, Joe Taylor, ? McArdle, Ryan Harkin, Chris Gumery.