AFC WULFRUNIANS 2-2 STOURPORT SWIFTS: THE MATCH REPORT...

Swifts Allow Wulfs Off Leash

AFC Wulfrunians 2-2 Stourport Swifts

Having planned to go to Knowle for my pre-Christmas game (Knowle, Noël… Get it?), the weather intervened and so it came to pass that I was delayed by a good number of sets of Wolverhampton’s traffic lights en route to the CKW Stadium, where the Wulfs play. The pitch was in good condition considering the recent rain but despite roaring into a 0-2 lead before the break, a strange second period showing by the migrating Swifts allowed their hosts to snatch a festive point with two goals which looped like Christmas decorations over the reach of Stourport goalie Dom Richards. However, this match report needs something seasonal from me to add recreational interest and so it comes in the guise of a quiz, whereby the reader has to find the ten song titles from Lilla Vargen’s two EPs and also the title of one of those EPs, all from within the text…  

IS ONE OF THE ASSISTANTS TAKING A LAST PEE?

LOOKS LIKE SIMON WILLIAMS IS CONDUCTING A MARRIAGE CEREMONY BEFORE THE KICK-OFF...

Visiting manager Quentin Townsend must have thought: “We Were Thunder…” during that opening period, for in truth the Wulfs were offensively wanting, Believe Me…  Two shots by their lively, if often unfortunate midfielder Jake Evans were well off target, another caused a bit of a melee in the Stourport 18 yard box but apart from Evans, only defender and skipper Ben Jevons caused any concern with a header which drifted across the face of goal, with colleagues stretching in vain. Left-sider Aaron Bishop was unable to get in a shot on one occasion but generally Swifts’ defenders James Timmins and skipper Matt Fulloway seemed in control. There was an intensity in the visitors’ play, but would they Hold On? 

JAMES TIMMINS: DEBATING CHAMPION AT STOURPORT, NARROWLY BEATING MARTIN SLEVIN...

No, actually, despite their strong first period display, whereby they netted twice, quickly and might have added more goals. Nick MacPherson fastened onto a huge booted clearance by Richards at inside-right and he rapped a decent angled rising drive which home gloveman Tom Turner turned upwards, allowing central defender Chris Knight to hack the ball away from near his goal-line. MacPherson would later shoot wide from 15 yards within the inside-left channel. However, several of Martin Slevin’s set-pieces would cause some problems for the hosts, especially his corners. One free-kick was punched away by Turner, as if he didn’t like the present the John Lewis Santa had given him, one corner was smuggled behind again by the home defence and yet another flag-kick to the near post was barely glanced on by MacPherson’s forehead, the ball struck a defender and there was Aaron Brett to shove a close range effort into the net.

DELL GLARES, AS BRETT STROLLS PAST AFTER SCORING...

0-1 TO SWIFTS...

Trouble for Wulfs then and Swifts must have thought: “Why Wait…” and promptly added goal two. Ben Billingham passed to Brett on the break, right side and the winger raced on before squaring the ball for MacPherson to convert on the run from 11 yards. One other piece of interplay between the two Swifts forwards saw a one-two completed and Brett’s rising effort from 15 yards smartly turned away for a corner by the leaping Turner.

MACPHERSON HAS SCORED: 0-2...

I had been in Cornwall for five days during the week and my mind kept returning to The Shore, where seaweed had piled up like a metre high wall on Marazion’s beach and where oystercatchers hurried about feeding, then my thoughts drifted to Mousehole on Wednesday evening when waves often thirty feet high crashed over the harbour walls into the quay. And here was I in Wolverhampton, chatting to Taylor Cordell’s folks about Birmingham and Worcester… Hmm…

The first-half had been rather dominated by Swifts, although their best offense had materialised on counter-attacks, rather than creativity from their hard-working midfielders. Winger Kartell O’Neill struggled to get involved to be honest but the most noticeable aspect of Stourport’s performance was the ‘I can bellow nasty words at my team-mates louder than you can’ contest between Timmins, whose yells at one linesman will give the assistant dreams of the ghost of Christmas present for weeks to come, and Slevin, whose one unfortunate moment was when he was receiving attention for a knock and was thus unable to reach the only playground scuffle to erupt during the match. He likes the scuffles… He actually committed the foul before his fall but his victim, Wulfs’ Simon Williams, was, er, cautioned… 

JEVONS: "I DON'T LIKE HIM..."

SPOT THE HATS OUT OF CRACKERS...

OMG: TWO MORE...

BEN JEVONS SEARCHES FOR THE MOWDOG...

Ah, Williams… He, like Jevons and glabrous Wulfrunians’ left-back Mat Johnson are ex-Lye Town players of course, where I was refused the pleasure of being called by my own name by the Flyers; I was ‘Dog’… Good days, those… Strangely, Evans and midfield sidekick James Hill were really effective in possession and sometimes clever but the final pass was often awry and it was On My Mind that central striker Dom Dell and left-flanker Aaron Bishop needed more involvement, which came to fruition after the interval, for both scored, meaning the numbers 9 and 11 scored for each team…

O'NEILL FINALLY GETS SOME POSSESSION BY TAKING THE SECOND PERIOD KICK-OFF...

An early strike from Downtown by Evans was only just too high, but he would be replaced later, a surprise really for he had been a bright performer, if not always successful. Hill though would pepper the Stourport end with four shot attempts, two of which rose waywardly, but another shot was turned over the bar by Richards, who also stopped Hill’s free-kick at the second attempt. Adventurous right-back Craig Gregg drove in an angled shot late on but Richards beat it away like he was being bothered by a particularly annoying brown long-eared bat. The goals were actually a surprise for most of the spectators, one of whom wore a festive woolly hat but had a golf ball sized Christmas bauble hanging from his right ear as he walked by munching a burger…

JOHNSON APOLOGISES TO TURNER.
NUFF SAID...

Dell had computed that he needed more involvement in the encounter and thus he soon fired in a low effort which deflected for a corner off the challenging Swift, Timmins. Then when a left-boot, right-wing centre by Gregg swung towards the near post, Dell reached it ahead of Fulloway and his glancing header looped upwards to drop over Richards, who was arching backwards like he was trialling for the Olympic diving team. 1-2 and the intensity intensified, enabling the hosts to regain parity with a fortunate goal. Dell was challenging in the penalty-box and the ball rolled back for Bishop to strike. His low effort deflected off one of the three Hansons, Joe, and looped upwards over the arching Richards for a second time… Richards looked distraught and indeed must have felt rather Solitary…

1-2: DELL...

2-2: BISHOP...

Another Dell effort rolled wide, following quick feet in the penalty-area and so, really, with the pace of home replacements Jumaane Meggoe and Joel Owusu on the pitch, one surely must agree that the draw was well earned by a much improved Wulfs pack… The Stourport manager: 

“It felt like a defeat. You should never be 2-0 up at half-time and squander it…”  

JOE HANSON WALKS OVER TO THE DYING SLEVIN AND TELLS HIM TO GET UP CUZ HE'S MISSING THE FIGHT...

His team actually managed scant offense after the players’ recess for a pint of Marston’s and a plate of pigs in blankets, for their counter-attacking had been largely nullified by the improved home defence. Matt Hanson glanced a header well wide from a Slevin corner, Lewis Clarke would be disappointed with a close range header he failed to keep down, Timmins’ shot from 27 yards was well wide and Turner claimed a low drive from Slevin. Yes, a stronger finish by the Swifts was clear but that came after the scuffle had died down and a few crazy minutes of substitutions had caused more delays, which affected the rhythm of the Wulfs’ revival. Replacements Mark Danks and Drew Canavan were instrumental in a better finish by the Swifts, to be fair. 

STILL DOWN, MARTIN?

Hill impressed for the hosts, Knight and Jevons were uncompromising in defence but the two full-backs did ever so well, generally. Gregg was a real worker and Johnson, as he had been at Lye, proved a valuable left-sided individual. One back-pass by him onto Turner’s left-shoe ended with a tough kick into touch by the goalie and soon afterwards Johnson kind of apologised, cheekily adding that the ‘keeper needed to improve his left-foot fly-kicking…. We liked that.

WILLIAMS' XMAS GIFT: A YELLOW CARD...

Fulloway and Timmins, the Hanson full-backs, Brett and MacPherson were mainly fine for the Swifts, whilst Slevin was well involved, despite finding little success from his raking passes from deep. 

EARLY KICK-OFF, GAME OVER, SO THAT THE PLAYERS MIGHT ACCOMPANY THEIR FAMILIES TO DO SOME CHRISTMAS SHOPPING...
(REALLY?)

Alone after the finish, placing the camera, etc, back in my bag, I spotted my badger, The Bodging and thought: “The One Who Truly Loves Me…”    

Maybe…

Merry Christmas to all from The Mowdog and The Bodging…

Who found all 11 answers to the quiz clues?

Well, I’m off to find a bauble for my left ear and a woolly hat like Quentin Townsend’s. 

It’s what I do…    

TEAMS:

AFC WULFRUNIANS:

TOM TURNER, CRAIG GREGG, MAT JOHNSON, JAMES HILL, CHRIS KNIGHT, BEN JEVONS (CAPT), RHYS HORTON, SIMON WILLIAMS, DOM DELL, JAKE EVANS, AARON BISHOP.

SUBS:

JUMAANE MEGGOE, LIAM RILEY-STEWART, KHENAN BARRETT, JOEL OWUSU, TOM POOLE.

STOURPORT SWIFTS:

DOM RICHARDS, JOE HANSON, MATT HANSON, LEWIS CLARKE, JAMES TIMMINS, MATT FULLOWAY (CAPT), KARTELL O’NEILL, MARTIN SLEVIN, NICK MACPHERSON, JOE BILLINGHAM, AARON BRETT.

SUBS:

JIM HANSON, DREW CANAVAN, MARK DANKS, TAYLOR CORDELL, LEWIS PLATT.