MY ONLY VISIT TO LONG EATON UNITED: A 0-2 DEFEAT IN 2010 TO TADCASTER ALBION...

It Was The Child With The Plastic Tubing In The Car-Park…

Tired brickwork and a looming power station appeared to the right of my route into Long Eaton, where I had planned to check out the town’s war memorial, which I knew would be positioned at the entrance to the parish church and so I peered above factories and kept an eye on the skyline until I noticed a spire. I spotted it in the street called Market Place. 

I turned off it and into a side-street, drawing up in a public car-park, which faced the rear yards of businesses, including one pub. A troop of children played nearby, wielding and brandishing lengths of black plastic tubing, striking walls and tarmac with threatening swings. Thinking of the safety of my car, I gulped. Their accompanying adults, I later realised, were in the pub, it seemed.

The two unforgettable side-streets I noticed off Market Place were splendidly called Regent Street and Oxford Street and the memorial was situated in front of the churchyard but it was currently surrounded by building materials, for it seemed that repair work was proceeding on the pavements around the base. The dismal looking church hovered above a similarly dismal and untidy graveyard, where a number of old gravestones rested against the walls of the rears of buildings in Market Place, which formed the perimeter of the consecrated ground. I began to hum the song ‘Lean On Me’ but I don’t know why.

At Grange Park, I left my car in a deep puddle, as most of the parking places had been commandeered by parents of youngsters training on the grassy areas outside the ground but I felt instantly welcomed upon my arrival and I was immediately impressed by the match programme. I was also introduced to the editor, who was also the photographer and general all-round decent person. We chatted, I drank a strong cup of tea, watched a glorious sunset but then I was subjected to the dreadful smoking of an elderly chap sitting in my grandstand row. I was shocked that this was even allowed in the seats and my eyes, breathing and resolve were all sorely tested. He was totally ignorant of my irritation but hey, I was visitor, he was a local…

PROGRAMME COVER: BUT IS AIDEN BRADY A YOUNG PAUL HOLLYWOOD???
BAKE OFF...

THE SQUADS...

One young lady became more agitated, vociferous and angry as the feisty second period unfolded: “What about the number 14 ref?” she demanded. “Shockin’. Shockin’…” she declared. A balding fellow who stood near the photographer on the touchline suddenly turned on me, after the Tadcaster goalie was adjudged to have fouled a Long Eaton player in the penalty-box. Although the referee had awarded a penalty, no further action had been taken and the ‘keeper had thus been able to save not only the spot-kick but also the rebound. The incensed chap bellowed at me, something about being a ‘coach’ and waved his arms about like a flailing skier attempting to keep his balance. Me? A coach? What had I done? I was simply taking pictures, talking into my Dictaphone and being just a fringe groundhopper… Did I look important? A coach? ME???

The game ended with the home contingent in abject mental disarray and the officials wondering whether they would reach the dressing-rooms and their Nottinghamshire homes safely. I said my farewell to the photographer and his wife then he apologised for the behaviour of ‘the bald bloke’. I was told that he intended to say he was sorry to me and thus over he walked, shook my hand and explained that the referee had a bunch of people with him to assess and coach, and mistakenly he had assumed I was an official. Little old me? He said, “I bet you wondered who the bald prat was!” I said, “Not really, but I wondered who the bald pillock was…” The photographer said, “This is the Chairman…”

Oh my god… Thanks for that…

The referee may have escaped but if he didn’t, the culprit was the child with the plastic tubing in the car-park… 

SMART, PRE-SUNSET...

INSIDE THE GRANDSTAND...

I WAS 6 THEN...

NEAT...

TRYING TO LOOK LIKE LYE TOWN...
(JOKING... REALLY!)

BETTER THAN A BROLLY...

VERY NEARLY SUNSET...

KYLE BRYANT??? WHO STARRED FOR COALVILLE AGAINST BARWELL LAST SATURDAY???

THE MATCH REPORT...

Long Eaton United 0 Tadcaster Albion 2

Att: 48

A strong first-half by the visitors was the foundation for a Tadcaster victory, despite a more raucous second-half by their hosts and a more vociferous second forty-five minutes by a number of United followers, who vented their anger at the referee. Home midfielder Gamble, already warned then cautioned, gambled once too often for the official’s liking and was dismissed but when Brewers’ ‘keeper Aaron Reid tripped Brady, who was moving away from goal, to concede a penalty, the custodian remained on the field, incensing the locals. Bryant struggled for Long Eaton before the break, Gordon replacing him at half-time, allowing the pace of Piliero to finally threaten the Tadcaster defence, which was redoubtable. Naturally, Aaron Reid saved the winger’s penalty and rebound effort to frustrate the home fans even more…

Moving the ball swiftly through Braithwaite and Whitehead, using the lively but lightweight Rice on the left flank, Tadcaster forced a number of early corners and it seemed that Long Eaton just couldn’t arrest possession of the ball. Home defender Murdock was battling manfully to keep the Brewers at bay but Long Eaton managed only a Gamble drive off target, following a punch from Aaron Reid and a Bryant shot which was so wayward that it hit a St George’s flag hanging from the perimeter rail. Gamble escaped a caution for his second heavy challenge then solid home goalie Baldwin made his first decent save. Lead-up play by left-back Jeff led to Whitehead’s drive from 19 yards, which Baldwin advanced and fortunately parried against colleague McGinty, to claim the loose ball with Braithwaite hovering. 

After twenty minutes or so, Brady must have been wondering when he could begin to affect the proceedings then finally, striker Mabon did chase one long ball but all in vain. When Mabon was pushed from behind by Brewers’ skipper Dawson, the forward appeared to slap the defender’s leg from his prone position. Amusing, yes, but both players were irritated and understandably cautioned. The free-kick was swung in, Aaron Reid caught the ball then Mabon clattered into him. This seemed a crazy decision, as he had just received a booking and it could have seen him sent from the field. Jeff was again the architect for Tadcaster, as Braithwaite’s quick feet took him into the penalty-box, left side, beating the errant Bryant but Baldwin did really well to get down to his left and palm aside an awkwardly bouncing 15 yard angled drive. Baldwin then managed to fingertip Tom Reid’s centre away, following a pass by the effervescent Rice.

A fine turn and run at goal by Whitehead ended with a powerful 18 yard effort but again the advancing Baldwin somehow reached the rising shot, palming it upwards towards goal and scuffling back to snatch at the ball and prevent it from entering the net. Whether it had already was anybody’s guess and presumably Baldwin’s sole knowledge. Bowles fired a fee-kick too high after Piliero had been bowled over but on 33 minutes, Tadcaster scored the elusive goal. Long Eaton disputed the award of a left-wing corner to Albion and they paid a price, Tom Reid’s delivery being met by a driving 4 yard header into the far corner of goal by Dawson. Bryant then hesitated in defence and was nearly caught in possession, following Tom Reid’s centre from the right and Gamble was finally and deservedly cautioned.

Dawson struck again in the 41^st minute, after Murdock had headed a clearance away and a long ball forward by the visitors had caught the home defenders napping, allowing an 18 yard header by Whitehead, unchallenged. The advanced Baldwin again stretched and managed to claw the ball away for a right-wing corner, which was swung in by Jeff. McGinty’s attempt at a headed clearance skimmed straight onto Dawson’s head and the ball flashed into the roof of Baldwin’s net from 3 yards. As the half ended, James’ deep cross was not claimed by the pressured Baldwin but Whitehead was unable to capitalise. 

Bowles and Brady were to become more effective during the second period, Gordon’s athleticism would offer another option in attack but the threat of Rice and Braithwaite would remain for home skipper Whiley and Murdock to wrestle with. There had been little sign of the trouble to come.

Brewer Taylor sliced over his own crossbar and Long Eaton threatened with corners in the opening minutes of the second-half, with Piliero on the right causing consternation for Jeff. Brady beat a defender on the left but Gordon was unable to direct his header, Mabon headed a second Brady centre but Thompson cleared for the visitors, before a couple of corners brought no reward for the hosts. Brady and Piliero were proving to be dangerous on the flanks for Long Eaton, as Tadcaster looked to break. Two smart one-twos between Tom Reid and Whitehead ended with the former’s low right-wing centre eluding Rice and then Braithwaite drove too high from 22 yards. An advantage was then played by the referee after a foul by Gamble but the midfielder was subsequently booked again and of course thrown out of the game. 

Stewart replaced Tom Reid for the Brewers, a pair of one-twos between Braithwaite and Rice came to nothing, following a fine throw by Aaron Reid, before Long Eaton hit back with another sortie from Brady but Mabon’s awkward header lacked power at the near post and it drifted over the bar from close range. 

After a Rice shot rolled to Baldwin, replacement Stewart threw his weight around twice, using a ‘strong tackle’ and then a ‘shoulder charge’, angering the home supporters but he was allowed to retain possession. Thompson received a caution, Mabon was spending some time rolling on the ground, as a result of challenges, Whitehead was replaced by the speedy Storey and Brady was booked for telling the official he was ‘havin’ a laugh’. Farthing and Mabon did a little shoving, shouting became louder from the grandstand and one of the Long Eaton coaches was moved away by the officious referee, presumably ‘dismissed’? 

Braithwaite and Rice broke in lithe fashion again but Baldwin saved the latter’s effort, James was replaced by Qualter then the villain Stewart beat McGinty brilliantly, fed Braithwaite inside and the slim forward passed diagonally for Rice, left side of the penalty-box but his stroked effort was stopped by the collapsing Baldwin, not cleanly, down by his right upright.

Stewart’s clean header from a left-wing centre was hacked clear by Murdock from in front of his goal-line then Gordon fed Brady but his clip was volleyed too high by the stretching Bowles, by now far more involved for Long Eaton. A powerful run by Gordon at inside-right, for he had recently moved out wide, led to a pass for Brady, evading defenders and running right, inside the penalty-area, only to tumble over the challenging Aaron Reid’s arm, 15 yards from goal. Screaming for the ‘keeper to be dismissed, the home contingent lost reason and tempers. A caution maybe would have sufficed, to be fair… The goalie escaped, surprisingly. Piliero, quieter now he was playing more centrally, took the penalty-kick, Aaron Reid dived left, the ball seemed to strike an arm or his hip and it skidded behind him towards his right post. He rose quickly and as Piliero reached the loose ball at the upright, the custodian blocked the shot with his legs. This only served to make tempers even more frayed. 

A fine half-volley on the run by Braithwaite just cleared the crossbar, as Tadcaster responded, Whiley’s header appeared to strike the evasive Gordon on the Tadcaster goal-line, Gordon deflected Brady’s right-wing free-kick over the bar from 6 yards and just before Storey and Braithwaite set up Taylor for a wayward effort for the visitors, the ebullient Brady committed a bad challenge on a Tadcaster defender, somehow escaping a second booking.

Tadcaster won the game in the opening 40 minutes but credit must go to their passing game and the performances of Braithwaite, Rice and Aaron Reid in particular. Skipper Dawson struck twice, although he could have fallen foul of the referee again, for an unnecessary push on a Long Eaton defender, which he was only censured for. Brady needed to be involved for the hosts, Piliero too but the midfielders really only contributed after the break. In fact, Long Eaton could conceivably have taken a point from the game, although Tadcaster would have found that hard to swallow after forcing Baldwin into difficult saves before the break. 

The supporters went home grumbling, the referee possibly escaped from the car-park and I drove home for a lump of strong cheese and a poor night’s sleep. 

It’s what I do…  

WHERE IN THE WORLD..?

LONG EATON?
REALLY?

WE LIKES THIS...

LOOKS LIKE THE COVER OF THE LONG EATON PLAYERS' CALENDAR...
...SOOOO COOL...

AND AIDEN BRADY (CENTRE) IS A PLAYER I HAVE SEEN A NUMBER OF TIMES BUT THAT SEASON, BY SEPTEMBER 7th, HE WAS THE CLUB'S TOP SCORER WITH 6 FROM THE TOTAL OF 7 TEAM GOALS...