THE WARD END COWBOY: 'AMBUSHING GRANDMA'...

Ambushing Grandma

Eyes glued,

Meanings misconstrued.

Lariat hastily covered 

By trail dust;

Taut, one end attached

To a sturdy bush,

The other held nervously

By an ambusher, perspiring

With anticipation:

And thus my plan was hatched…

Lips smiled,

Reality defiled.

Lasso hastily yanked

By anxious prey;

Tight, rope raised

To trip the mounts

Of riding predators,

By a jubilant cowboy,

With a hollerin’:

And thus my mind was crazed…

Heart skipped,

Sanity dipped.

String carefully tied

By small child,

Timid, yet determined,

To chair leg

And gripped in kitchen, hidden

By step down

With such trepidation:

And thus my childhood sinned…

Mind wept,

Woefully inept.

Trick hopelessly exposed,

By even my Nan;

Tepid, unemotional, even sad,

To self-pity.

The ruse tumbled, she hesitated and

By her standards, anger rose

With strained eyes:

And glared, “Wait ‘til I tell your Dad…”

Pete Ray

WITH MOM AT BAMVILLE ROAD, WARD END...

ME WITH BOTH NANS...
THE ONE I FAILED TO AMBUSH IS ON THE RIGHT...

ON MY TRICYCLE IN BAMVILLE ROAD...

THE LEFT-HAND GUN OF WARD END...

Saw this on a ‘Western’ show, where a ‘cowboy’, being chased, stopped round a bend, tied one end of his rope around a sturdy bush, laid the main section across the trail, hastily covered it with dust, hid and awaited his pursuers. He yanked the rope taut as they were almost upon him, tripping the unfortunate horses and hastening the villains’ demise.

I tried it on Nan…

And failed.