ARDLEY UNITED 1-0 WEMBLEY FC: THE MOWDOG'S INDEPENDENT, LIGHTHEARTED REPORT...

 Late Free-kick Stuns Ten-man Wembley…

Ardley United 1-0 Wembley FC

The Mowdog’s thoughts…

As a spectacle, this game reminded me of the old football saying ‘kick and rush’, for it was untidy, mistake riddled, lacking creativity and it was almost bereft of goalscoring opportunities. 

A first period dismissal, I think of Louis Udeh, although the difficulty of identifying the numbers on the Wembley shirts whilst watching from the sidelines was a real problem. At a quick view, numbers 2, 3, 5, 6, 8 & 9 were tough to distinguish at times in the darkness of an Oxfordshire evening, over which a curl of mist began to form during the latter stages of this irritable contest.

Oddly though, those similar numbers are clearer on my video clips but apologies to Wembley for the lack of identification during the commentary.

A very late free-kick won the match for the hosts, struck well by substitute George Jeacock from downtown but in truth, Wembley had generally stunted Ardley’s attack and a goal had looked unlikely for long periods of such a scruffy encounter. 

Why I was there…

In January 2022, I slipped on the grass behind the far goal frame at Ardley, whilst returning a wayward ball to a member of the Risborough Rangers coaching staff, pre-match. The left-foot pass was accurate but my right shoe slipped on the wet and muddy surface and I flew into the air like a character in a Pink Panther cartoon. The back of my coat was covered in mud and my left hand was badly bruised by the fall, as was my back but nobody saw the incident, not even the recipient of my pass…

I HAD TO CLIP THE BALL OVER THE BARRIER, WHICH I DID...

As the year wore on, it became clear that I had damaged my left hip in the fall and so in January 2023, I had hip replacement surgery. I thought therefore that to return to Ardley in January 2024 would be an interesting idea to exorcise the bad memories…

THE WIRE FENCE PREVENTED A LOW PASS OF THE BALL...

And wouldn’t you just know it, as I walked on a hard path behind the goal at the facilities end, a wayward ball flew over the crossbar and I was sorely tempted to ‘first-time it’ back to the player whose warm-up shot had missed the target. But I didn’t…

I picked up the ball and punted it to him. I kept upright. I was pleased…

The dismissal, the screams, the vaping & the barely existent goal threat…  

The incident which led to Udeh’s ‘light touch’ on Mason Courtney’s arm, resulting in a fall for the Ardley forward was begun by a rare incisive pass, from the outside of home striker Gavin James’ right boot. Wembley claimed offside but it was clear that the relevant lines-person was well up with play and he certainly wasn’t influenced to raise his flag.

The referee produced a red card for Udeh and I can understand the defender’s astonished point of view, for there really wasn’t a great deal in the incident, although perhaps I can also understand the official’s decision too… Sad though…

The dreary game of inaccuracy, long kicking and the heading clear by Ardley’s defence of a succession of long throws by Wembley’s Iupumba (the FullTime website's spelling) or maybe Lupumba (the spelling on the white board at the ground) became increasingly tetchy and the visitors’ coaching team’s incensed complaints were so heated that I thought the vaping smoke around them was actually steam from hot-headedness… 

Noteworthy goal attempts were rare, only a decent shot by James Casbieri which was blocked and a Morgan Williams free-kick which slapped into Wembley’s defensive wall interrupted the messy football before the break for the hosts. After half-time, home replacement James Williams saw a flick blocked by visiting goalie Victor Christea 17 yards from goal and a low, slow, angled shot from the right by Declan Benjamin rolled close by the far stick. Otherwise Christea had only been forced to punch clear a couple of set-pieces… 

And until Ardley scored, all that the guests had managed was a wild sliced effort by Franck Pegny (if he was wearing what looked vaguely like a 6 on his shirt) and then in the dying moments the Wembley number 19 (no mention of the number on the white board…) rolled a shot wide of the right stick when it seemed like he might score.

Subsequently, the number 19 would concede a free-kick for a high boot, 19 yards from his own goal and that would prove disastrous for the visitors who had battled industriously and had defended with some aplomb throughout the contest.

That winning goal… 

Replacement Jeacock had played on the right side of the Ardley offense after being introduced but he had been unable to produce an assist from a couple of crosses and corners but when the opportunity to shoot a free-kick in the closing moments, he was the player who grabbed the ball. His powerful right-footed, head-high drive beat the defensive wall and also Christea’s plunge, to dip and bulge the lower left side of the net… 

JEACOCK PREPARES...

CHRISTEA PLUNGES...

...& ARDLEY WIN...

The final words…

The free-kick goal and the dismissal will be remembered, as will the long throws employed by Wembley and the innumerable free-kicks which were awarded to Ardley but overall the match was pretty awful as a spectacle, despite the effort, the industry and the ugliness.

Thanks for the fine welcome from Ardley’s officials and pleasingly I was able to leave the ground with a clean coat, a healthy left hand and no damage to my back…

Exorcised…