STAPENHILL FC 7-3 HOLWELL SPORTS: FULL MATCH REPORT...

Slick Stapenhill Storm Sees Off Hart-Harried Holwell…

Stapenhill FC 7-3 Holwell Sports

A balmy August evening, where Liverpool were netting five times against Burton Albion nearby, the Swans of Stapenhill scored seven goals against their plucky visitors Holwell Sports, who struck three times themselves in, let’s say, ‘a rather open encounter’ at Maple Grove. Three goals down in 15 minutes, Holwell were forced to dig in, surviving further damage until the break and were involved in a busy 15 minutes at the start of the second period too, when the scoreline moved on to 4-2. At 4-3 there seemed a truly unlikely comeback on the cards but Steve Hart, whose name was written at first as ‘Hart Hart’ on the team-sheet, plundered another two goals, before lively strike partner Tom Liversage added a seventh to crown a crazy evening in warm sunshine, beneath a remarkable sky on the Staffs/Derbys border. 

"HELLO MY GOOD FELLOW, SHALL WE HAVE A DRINKS BREAK SOON?"

Both teams attempted to pass the ball and indeed, Stapenhill’s slickness was often impressive, with Niall Dawkins a particular danger on the right and Hart looking eager to be involved throughout, as Tom Ellerton, Alex Britton and Lewis Campbell caused Sports’ midfield some real problems on occasions. Certainly Kieran Foster fought hard in attack for the guests, with tricky left-winger Tom Harris in decent form and Chris Hibbitt a willing runner in support but the real problem for Holwell was attempting to quell the considerable threat posed by Hart, whose frame, effort, power and heading ability combined to afford him a personal tally of four goals. He netted three headers, one right-footer and went close with a couple of left-footers too but it was unfortunate that Holwell’s right-back Sam Kibble, much smaller in stature than the big Swan, ended up attempting to jump with Hart too often…

HAVING FOULED FOSTER, AUSTIN RIPS AN ADVERTISING HOARDING OFF A RAIL AND PREPARES TO CHUCK IT AT THE REFEREE...
NOT REALLY.

Visiting ‘keeper Jamie Whitham dropped an early cross and he was forced to hack the ball clear in haste, before he collected a low drive by Hart and could only watch as a Hart pile-driver took a deflection over his crossbar, but from the resulting corner, the ball was cleared as far as Hart, left side of the penalty-box, from whence his low volley struck Ellerton, which caused the defence to be wrong footed and Campbell pounced to shoot low into the right corner of the net from 12 yards, leaving Whitham helpless.

"DO I GET AN ASSIST FOR MY WAYWARD, MISCUED VOLLEY?" ASKS STEVE HART.
NO, ACTUALLY.

CAMPBELL'S GOAL: 1-0...

Recovery wasn’t allowed, for within moments, Hart rose unencumbered at inside-left to head an easy second goal from a superb centre by Dawkins out on the right-flank. Dawkins was unable to keep his header on target, as Hart repaid his ‘assistant’ soon afterwards but when Holwell hauled Hart heartily to the turf, Dawkins took the ensuing 25 yard free-kick, just left of centre and curled a fine shot past Whitham high into the Sports net.    

2-0...

HEADER BY HART...

3-0...

FREE-KICK BY DAWKINS...

STEVE HART ASKS IF HE CAN HAVE AN ASSIST FOR NOT TAKING THE FREE-KICK...
NO, ACTUALLY...

Liversage then cleverly fed Dawkins to his right for a first-time drive, which shaved the Holwell crossbar and another fine Dawkins delivery saw the very effective Britton rise but head off target at the far upright. The visitors, despite displaying some neat football, hadn’t been clinical enough, I guess, for although home ‘keeper Ben Gough had got down near his left post to smother a Foster effort, when a long ball deflected off a defender’s head, Foster’s next effort was wide from 20 yards, then he poked a 17 yard shot into goal, from the energetic Graham Wells’ pass but was flagged offside. Britton had done well to head away a fine free-kick by Holwell’s left-back Carlton Cropper, one of the best names I’ve seen on a soccer field this season, but the only other Sports effort of note was a near post header by Hibbitt, which had been simple enough for Gough to save.

IT'S A JOLLY HOLIDAY DUGOUT FOR THE SWANS...

FOSTER & HARRIS: THE THREATS FOR HOLWELL...

Holwell would emerge for the second-half with purpose, the Swans didn’t take it easy though and thus the match ebbed and flowed to contain seven further goals and also a number of misses, despite flattening out for a period during which a number of replacements were made. Sadly, Wells had already been replaced due to injury and Holwell’s David Hazledine had been introduced. Mike Hendy would replace right-winger David Reeves and Liam Chapman would replace midfielder Brad Smith, as Sports battled for some pride. Stapenhill were to be quickly pegged back, as Harris’ wing-play brought Foster an early second-half goal.

Harris cut inside from the left and his cross drifted over home skipper Paul Furniss’ head but there was Foster, having escaped, to nod past Gough into the left side of the net. Furniss had previously been and would subsequently be solid and thoughtful in the home defence, well supported by Ash Garner, who foraged untiringly for his team. Hart was in his element for the hosts however and after cutting inside from the right, he unleashed a fine left-booter, which flew too high, before driving a free-kick into the Holwell defensive wall and seeing the rebound cross headed too high by a colleague. Harry Austin, the Swans’ right-back, who had looked strong, if a little argumentative towards the referee on occasions, was replaced by Jordan Stevens and his running would prove a real bonus for the home team. Holwell’s Ian Bitmead was cautioned, Campbell was replaced by James Machin for the hosts but after Gough dropped right to save a low Foster shot and Swan left-back Nathan Ralph blocked Harris’ rebound effort, Stapenhill roared into a 4-1 lead. Fine trickery on the right by Stevens, who made it to the byeline and crossed left-footed, led to a leap by Hart and a simple header, as Kibble struggled to cope and Whitham clawed air. 

3-1...

FOSTER DESERVED THAT...

4-1: HEADER BY HART...

HART TRIES TO CLAIM ANOTHER ASSIST BUT HIS COLLEAGUES KNOW HART'S GAME BY HEART...

A low Chapman centre from the left allowed Foster to drag a low shot into the right corner of the net past Gough to reduce the arrears again but although Stevens shot wide for the Swans, Gough made a bad error, by allowing a low shot from distance by Hibbitt pass between his ankles and suddenly, the visitors were only 4-3 down.

4-2: FOSTER AGAIN...

4-3: ERROR BY GOUGH...

Hart however then turned on the footy burners and settled the game with two goals, first rising way above Kibble to head past a hapless Whitham from a right-side centre, then after lurking near the Sports custodian as he fell to save a Stevens shot, he forced the goalie into another block at the right upright, before striking his fourth goal. This time, he chose to use his chest and right foot, rather than his head, when a good and incisive delivery by Britton came to him at the left post. He used his chest to control the ball near the byeline, moved inside an abject challenge by the disorientated Bitmead and shot inside the post, off Whitham from close range.

5-3: HAT-TRICK FOR HART...
HE DIDN'T ASK FOR AN ASSIST.
I WONDER WHY?

6-3: A TEAM-MATE ATTEMPTS TO SWAP HART'S FOURTH GOAL FOR AN ASSIST...
HART SAYS: "BUGGER OFF..."

After a fine block by Cropper, who prevented a shot by Stevens from threatening the disgruntled Whitham, the busy and fleet-footed Liversage drove a 17 yard shot from inside-left past Whitham and into the bottom right corner of the net, being rewarded by a hug and being substituted, which failed to impress the dangerous forward. Tom Duddy appeared in his place, reminding me of the name of a lad I used to teach, who was a decent soccer player in my Primary School team: Martin Duddy…

7-3: LIVERSAGE HAS SCORED, SHOWS GREAT DELIGHT, THEN GETS SUBSTITUTED.
HE WOULD SHOW LESS PLEASURE AT THE WITHDRAWAL...

A fine move saw Whitham claw out but not hold onto a clever angled chip by the ever prominent Dawkins, Duddy hovered but an offside flag relieved the juggling ‘keeper, then Duddy skied a shot from Britton’s assist, before Whitham did well to save low from Duddy. Holwell broke from that save and Foster’s over-shoulder shot bounced wide of the left post. Duddy, not having the kind of fortune Hart had harvested throughout the evening, saw another drive strike team-mate Garner, I believe, but Garner did harvest a caution late on, as the visitors fought to the death. Garner? Harvest? Shame there wasn’t a Miller on the pitch as well…

HE DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO SCORE ANOTHER...

Visitors Hendy and Hazledine set up Foster from close range but his miscue pleased the concerned Gough, who simply bent to pick up the effort, Harris’ volley from the right flew wide of the target and Gough made a fine save from Hendy, whose approach play with Hibbitt had been commendable, before Hendy had turned Rolph to fire in his 16 yard effort. Bitmead headed the resulting corner too high and the referee blew on his whistle to signal beers all round and the removal of a good deal of sweat…  

CAMPBELL & KIBBLE...

Ten goals, so no complaints at all, plus a fine welcome from the Stapenhill officials had made the evening well worthwhile and I was even privy to what Bayer Leverkusen had sent my mate Colin Gel, who has just acquired a concessionary season ticket there. A goody box: containing a scarf, a letter in English from Rudi Voller, a badge, etc, etc. He will see several games there at a cheap price too but will choose his games carefully; probably Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund… Shame Dynamo Dresden are in the league below. We likes Dresden…

NICE, EH?

Anyhow, Hart was excellent for the Swans, Britton always involved, Garner indefatigable, Liversage a wispy character, substitute Stevens an offensive danger and Dawkins a really useful performer, showing some fine innovation at times. The guests were well served throughout by two-goal Foster, Harris displayed good feet and Hibbitt deserved his goal. Maybe Gough thought so too… No, sorry, that was only a small jest… 

CARIBBEAN SUNSETS? YOU CAN SHOVE 'EM IN YOUR GARDEN SHED...

Me? Took the badger home, the journey was fine on the A444 and the M42, before guzzling fruit cake…

Cuz that’s what I do…

TEAMS:

STAPENHILL:

BEN GOUGH, HARRY AUSTIN, NATHAN ROLPH, ASH GARNER, PAUL FURNISS (CAPT), NIALL DAWKINS, LEWIS CAMPBELL, ALEX BRITTON, TOM LIVERSAGE, STEVE HART, TOM ELLERTON.

SUBS:

JAMES MACHIN, JORDAN STEVENS, CHARLIE RUMIN, PHIL WHEILDON, TOM DUDDY.

HOLWELL SPORTS:

JAMIE WHITHAM, SAM KIBBLE, CARLTON CROPPER, AARON RIDEOUT, IAN BITMEAD, CHRIS HIBBITT, DAVID REEVES, BRAD SMITH, GRAHAM WELLS, KIERAN FOSTER, TOM HARRIS.

SUBS:

LIAM CHAPMAN, TOM BARNARD, MIKE HENDY, DAVID HAZLEDINE, RICHARD CRAGG.