RETFORD UNITED 0-0 NEWARK TOWN: THE MATCH REPORT...

Crosby Stills Gnashing Newark Hopes

Retford United 0-0 Newark Town

Lots of hype preceded this top of the table clash at Cannon Park but in truth, the contest was dire at times, most probably affected by a blustery wind but also by a considerable lack of creativity, too many hurried clearances, too many fouls and the ball’s insistence to be lifted upwards. There was tension too and a real need ‘not to lose’ but entertainment was minimal, illustrated by the inanimate home supporters standing as if present at a boring political rally behind one goal during the second period. Goal action was rare and when the guests were kindly offered a chance to score from a penalty during a fraught opening half, Lewis Chambers saw his spot-kick saved low to his left by home goalie Tom Crosby. 

NATHAN BURROWS KICKS INTO THE WIND...

Visiting ‘keeper Nathan Burrows smothered a couple of efforts by Badgers Igor Mlynarski and Dean Conway but otherwise he was well protected by Luke Parsons and Luke Boddy, who was dismissed during the second-half, for a second cautionable offence. He had escaped punishment for a late challenge on Conway early in the match, then took Mark West out cynically later in the period, so perhaps it was not surprising that he eventually saw red. Rhys Lewis, very effective for Town, especially aerially, also got away with one bad challenge, as the referee played an advantage. So little offense was created that even against 10 opponents, there was little evidence that Retford were getting on top and indeed, Town missed three fine opportunities themselves as the game wound down beneath the Cannon Park floodlights. Crosby saved smartly from George Asplin but really, replacement Dan Boulton would surely rue his misses, all off target in the dying minutes.

TOM CROSBY: TWO FINE SAVES...

An error in typing the Cannon Park postcode into my satnav (DN2 instead of 22) meant that I turned up at Doncaster Racecourse, before spotting the mistake and returning to the Retford ground for the first time for eleven years with forty minutes to spare. However, in excess of 200 spectators will recall little from the encounter. Chambers drove too high from 16 yards for the guests, before Asplin lifted an 18 yard effort out of the stadium but it was a foul on the number 7 which brought the penalty award. A hooked clearance by Badger Mlynarski flew straight to Asplin at 18 yards but as he moved into the penalty-box, he was baulked and careened by Badger Oli Lawrence and thus Chambers stepped up to take the 12 yarder. Crosby guessed correctly and dived left to keep out Chambers’ low shot with some guile.

KANE: ABLE TO TAKE FREE-KICKS...

Mlynarski had earlier been fed by Conway’s best pass of the day but as he advanced along the left byeline, Burrows managed to smother the ball. That chance apart, all the Badgers could come up with was from sett (get it) pieces, really… From a bounced ball by the referee to Conway, the bearded forward shot past the left upright from 25 yards, Brandon Kane walloped an effort high and wide and West shot past the left stick from 27 yards. And that was it… Half-time arrived for the players to be fed vitamins, sink warm drinks of brandy in warm milk to add some vitality to their beings and have microphone mufflers placed round their boots to ward off the wind. The spectators simply needed to walk about, drink something warm or more likely alcoholic, watch the farm vehicles rumble by and wonder whether any of the dark clouds littering the sky would weep showers of frustration onto their anoraks. 

DUGOUT EXPRESSIONS...

And so to half two but the contest was little better to be honest. Conway was adjudged offside on one occasion but it did appear that West might have been the errant forward, not Conway, though it was tough to say for certain. When he did escape the flag in another attack, onto replacement Muhamet Gashi’s neat pass Conway seemed to take an age to shoot as Burrows advanced and the ‘keeper smothered the ball comfortably. Conway wasn’t able to get his head to a cross from Adam Daughtrey and that reminds me that I saw the American band Daughtry live in Birmingham some years back and it did seem that Daughtrey’s rushes on the right flank might eventually ‘Break The Spell’ for his team, but ‘No Surprise’, they didn’t. He shoved one centre onto the roof of the net and then passed towards a shocked Conway when he might well have scored himself. Kane struck a waist-high free-kick which Burrows burrowed through a crowd to beat away and Kane’s next free-kick shot soared into the distance like a ‘Renegade’ buzzard.

BENCHMEN...

Kane was cautioned too but after a free-kick by Newark’s Daryl Price had gone over all-comers in the 6 yard box and skipper Steve Carty was unable to turn the ball into goal near the right stick, Asplin began to make inroads into the home defence late in the day. Certainly home skipper Tom Brook and sidekick Dan Swales had done well to quell some of the movement of Chambers but subsequently it was Asplin who made a stunning run forward. As he stumbled, he fed Chambers to his left and received the ball back, clipping a neat shot from 22 yards, for Crosby isn’t the tallest of goalies. However, the athleticism of the goaltender saw him leap to turn the ball over his cross-beam.

MATCHES THE SHIRT...

BROOK & CHAMBERS: NEW TV SERIES?

Asplin also raced onto a long Burrows free-kick but his first touch of the ball was awry, then substitute Boulton became centre-stage, as he drove a rebound over the crossbar, following a fine surge by Jon Wiles from midfield, whose 20 yard shot had slapped against the face of the crossbar. Boulton headed wide when well positioned at a corner and then somehow scuffed the ball past the left upright, following more smart play by Chambers and Wiles’ nuisance at the near post.

BODDY IS IN TROUBLE...

...& IS EXILED...

And thus the Badgers held on, despite their numerical advantage and the teams trundled from the field with a point apiece. Daughtrey was the Badgers’ most dangerous individual in a match containing strong ‘Battleships’ of players but the contest seemed to have been ‘Waiting for Superman’, as ‘Wild Heart’ performances superseded creativity on the day. Most shots were like ‘Broken Arrows’, bar Asplin’s and Wiles’ best drives, for other efforts were so off target that they might have crossed the ‘Tennessee Line’, rather than the goal-line… Anyway, that’s enough Daughtry song titles, except for one more, because no-one would have been keen to be ‘Baptized’ in the gents’ blocked urinals after the match…

HEY, BADGER, EVER FELT ABANDONED?

A NEWARK PLAYER ATTEMPTS THE 'SPIT IN THE WIND CROSSBAR CHALLENGE' AT CANNON PARK...

BODDY'S FIRST BOOKING...

Parsons, Ed Munton, Tom Moore and Lewis were all strong in defence for the guests, Asplin was quick on the right on occasions and Chambers ran the offensive channels with some prowess. Badgers Jack Walters, smart at left-back, plus Lawrence, Swales and Brook were all worth mentioning and again they were all defenders. Kane fought hard in midfield, Daughtrey was spasmodically effective, replacement Gashi was generally lively but really, Conway and West were unable to influence the proceedings as much as they would surely have liked, due to the elements and a severe dearth of service…

TWO DOWN, NINE TO GO...

THE REF IS ABOUT TO HAND HIS FAGS AROUND...

0-0 and the satnav surprisingly took me straight back to Solihull…

COUNTRY DANCING TO FINISH THE GAME...

TEAMS:

RETFORD UNITED:

TOM CROSBY, OLI LAWRENCE, JACK WALTERS, DANNY ABDULLA, TOM BROOK (CAPT), DAN SWALES, ADAM DAUGHTREY, BRANDON KANE, IGOR MLYNARSKI, MARK WEST, DEAN CONWAY.

SUBS:

ZACH CASBURN, KALLUM NIX, MUHAMET GASHI, JACOB DAWSON, KIERAN CONWAY.

NEWARK TOWN:

NATHAN BURROWS, ED MUNTON, TOM MOORE, LUKE BODDY, LUKE PARSONS, RHYS LEWIS, GEORGE ASPLIN, JON WILES, LEWIS CHAMBERS, DARYL PRICE, STEVE CARTY (CAPT).

SUBS:

JAMES EVANS, DAN BOULTON, CRAIG BRIDGE, KIERAN JOB, TYLER MARTIN.