BISHOPS CLEEVE 1-2 BIDEFORD AFC: A NEUTRAL VIEW FROM THE HEART...

Heart Sees Nine Late Robins Leave Eleven Early Mitres Pointless…

Bishops Cleeve 1-2 Bideford AFC

I listened to the ‘Greatest Hits’ album by American rock band Heart en route to Bishops Cleeve and heart proved to be what Bideford needed to see this rather odd game through to its bitter end, especially after having two players dismissed by a referee who had earlier shown real heart to allow the Devon team time to arrive in Gloucestershire. The M5 had held a nightmare journey for the Robins apparently and they didn’t turn up until around 8.15pm, meaning a subsequent kick-off time of 8.45pm. The various delays on their awful journey didn’t appear to have affected the guests however for they netted twice before the break and it was only a handling error by their ‘keeper Steve Oliver which offered the hosts some hope in the final two minutes, plus any time the harassed official had deemed to add on. Despite real heart by the Mitres though, they weren’t really able to test Oliver much, except via two or three crosses, a few off target shots and a fine drive by right-back Olly Butler which rapped the crossbar just after half-time.

Eighteen tracks are included on Heart’s album, all the titles of which will appear in the report below, with just a little poetic licence I must confess… 

Before Bideford finally rushed into the arena very late, a couple of dogs were seen running about. I wondered about one of them, ‘Who Will You Run To?’ Then it spotted a young lady holding its lead and it clearly barked: ‘There’s the Girl’…

The Robins began with purpose against their hosts, who are languishing at the foot of the league table and coming off a 1-5 home defeat to another Devon team, Barnstaple Town on Saturday. Only four goals scored in the league didn’t auger well for the Mitres but Jack Watts was included in attack with the hope of some improvement. Bideford had beaten Cirencester 3-0 a few days ago in Devon and the visitors soon led, thanks to a strangely conceived goal. A high, punted left-flank centre by the speedy, clever Billy Tucker dropped seemingly harmlessly towards the far post but home goalie Lewis Clayton appeared to hesitate as the not very ‘Tall, Dark Handsome Stranger’ Ryan Turner leapt and headed the ball down past the stunned, ‘Stranded’ gloveman, leaving his marker on the seat of his shorts. 

TOSSING...

WATTS GETS HURT EARLY IN THE GAME...

0-1 TO THE MIGRATING ROBINS...

TURNER, JUST AFTER SCORING... 

The Mitres were being outfought and outgunned in these opening stages and Clayton was forced to beat away a 23 yard strike by busy Robin midfielder Louie Roberts, before seeing a shot by the marauding Ben Seymour, whose half would become one he will most definitely want to wipe from his memory, rise too high. Clayton then made a fine save with his left boot, as attacking Robin right-back Ian Sampson rattled in a fine 18 yard effort, before some unsavoury moments began to creep into the encounter. First Ben Tunnicliff was cautioned for needlessly preventing Bideford from taking a quick free-kick, then Seymour pulled back an opponent, also needlessly and he was shown a yellow card too. Three Bideford corners followed and the third caused a 6 yard box melee in which Robins’ defender Craig Allen saw a shot blocked.

RUNNING THE LINE IS AN ACTIVE OCCUPATION...

Turner, presented with a chance to run at the home defence, shot disappointingly wide before Allen lobbed an 18 yard effort just too high but soon the game erupted with a probable head-butt, a dismissal, two more cautions and a crucial second goal for the ten men of Bideford. In front of the spectators in one of the grandstands, home forward Elliot Kennedy did appear to thrust his skull towards that of Allen’s, a movement which was either ignored or missed by the two people who were being paid to spot indiscretions: the referee and a nearby linesman. No action was taken by the officials and yet moments later, Seymour kicked the ball away a short distance from where he had been penalised and was shown a second yellow card, as the referee leapt into angry action like Popeye in a vintage cartoon. ‘If Looks Could Kill’, I thought…  

SEYMOUR IS ABOUT TO BE DISMISSED...

LIKE JANE SEYMOUR BEFORE HIM, BEN SEYMOUR LEAVES HISTORY TOO SOON...

I believe the effective Robins’ skipper Matty Bye was cautioned too for a foul which led to Watts’ 25 yard free-kick shot taking a slight deflection for a corner before Ben Hands, who had done quite well for the Mitres thus far, jumped harshly into Bye, like in a scene from the Beano and he too was cautioned. A long Oliver free-kick was headed straight at Clayton by the robust Robin, James Mayne and as the half waned, the excellent Tucker combined with reliable and pacy left-back Ben Wood to fire a second Bideford goal. Tucker moved into the penalty-box before striking a clever shot over Clayton and into the net off the underside of the crossbar. ‘Surrender To Me’… he sang as he wheeled away… Maybe. But ‘What About Love’? Well, the few Robins fans were so overjoyed that surely they were all thinking as they watched Tucker celebrate ‘All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You’… OK, maybe not literally but perhaps just for a second or two, figuratively?

A CASUALTY IS SPOTTED...

MORE TROUBLE...

0-2...

A DESERVED GOAL FOR TUCKER...

The hosts needed to begin the second period with some steely offense and in Watts and Kennedy, they fielded two lively forwards, added to by the introduction of Romayne Thomas as a half-time replacement for Ant Burton. A superb strike, left-booted, by Butler smacked against the Bideford crossbar from 23 yards, Scott Beattie and Bye somehow crowded out a threatening run by Watts, Butler was booked for a challenge on Turner and home central defender Chris Pates lifted a delivery too high after a short period of Cleeve pressing.

WATTS HAPPENING? OH, THE SECOND PERIOD IS ABOUT TO START...

"YOU MIGHT HAVE MORE HAIR, BUT I'M TALLER, OK?"

The irritating runs and tricks of Tucker were causing the hosts some problems and the forward linked well with Roberts before shooting into the side-netting, then Will Tunnicliff replaced Harrison Iddles for the Mitres in between off target shots by Thomas and Kennedy. Craig Veal replaced Turner for AFC, Tucker drove a shot too high, as did Wood for the guests, but then after Dan Western had replaced Tucker, Veal was dismissed, apparently for language aimed at the officials who had conferred, their uniforms ‘Black On Black’: 

“Me ref? ‘Never’…” But Veal walked the walk, ‘Alone’… 

VEAL WAS SENT OFF ALMOST BEFORE HE'D PULLED UP HIS SOCKS TO GO ON...

However, the nine men finally succumbed to the Mitres’ limited offense on around 88 minutes, which actually felt like 2am, although it was an individual error which offered the chance, rather than heavy pressure.

Watts’ speculative shot from inside-left bounced for Oliver to collect but he fumbled the ball to home substitute Hinsa Gaye, on for Hands and he nudged the ball across the 6 yard box for Thomas to convert easily. 

1-2 & WATTS WONDERS...

THE ASSIST BY GAYE, 12 & THE GOAL BY THOMAS, SECOND FROM LEFT...

Oliver held onto a hard 25 yard drive by Ben Tunnicliff, Kennedy was cautioned, possibly for the use of an arm, a Watts clip was back-headed some yards wide by Gaye and in the dying moments Wood raced away on the left for Bideford and this resulted in a bizarre moment, for the left-back’s low cross-shot led to the recovering Clayton slipping over, missing the ball and he must have been so relieved to see it roll past his left upright. 

The game ended then and it was odd that Bideford had travelled so far, had been delayed, had played so hard, had lost two players to red cards and yet had still managed to emerge victorious. Winning against the odds is what dreams are made of but ‘These Dreams’ are rare and it seemed fitting that King Arthur country would be lying not too far from north Devon on the players’ journey ‘Back To Avalon’ (did I really have the cheek to get that one in?) A bitter sweet evening for Bideford then and their manager must have been thinking with two extreme opinions about the referee: ‘I Didn’t Want To Need You’ was one angle, for he surely did need the game to go ahead after the long trek to Kayte Lane but in the end he was left with an alternative view: two players facing suspensions and yet those two official decisions could have been done without for the Robins…

HANDSHAKES...

The hosts could not be faulted for effort and certainly later in the game, especially facing a team of nine, they passed the ball better because of the space afforded up to the Bideford 18 yard box and in Watts and Kennedy they had two players who needed watching. Indeed, Beattie and Watts had their struggles during the second period. Butler and left-back Jordan Staten were always willing to support the midfielders but in truth, AFC’s Allen, Mayne and Beattie protected ‘keeper Oliver effectively. Offensively, the guests were awkward for Cleeve manage at times, for Tucker was dangerous, Turner proved to be a grafting central attacker and until his demise, Seymour had flitted threateningly in and out of the proceedings. Roberts and skipper Bye played industrially for the visitors however and with full-backs Wood and Sampson willing to get forward whenever possible, it did appear from a neutral’s point of view that the Robins had deserved their victory. Bishops Cleeve were left with ‘Nothin’ At All’…

I realised that the kind chap who emailed me the Cleeve starting line-up was the fellow on the tannoy system too and I mumbled, ‘You’re the Voice’… 

My drive home was an hour to Solihull but for Bideford ‘The Road Home’ was certain to be long and as I looked at their players departing the pitch, I thought: ‘Will You Be There (In the Morning?)’ 

Yeah, I’m all Heart.

It’s what I do…

TEAMS: 

BISHOPS CLEEVE: 

LEWIS CLAYTON, OLLY BUTLER, JORDAN STATEN, MIKE FORD, CHRIS PATES, BEN TUNNICLIFF, BEN HANDS, ANT BURTON, ELLIOT KENNEDY (CAPT), HARRISON IDDLES, JACK WATTS.

SUBS:

HINSA GAYE, WILL TUNNICLIFF, ROMAYNE THOMAS, ELLIOTT SEDDON.

BIDEFORD AFC:

STEVE OLIVER, IAN SAMPSON, BEN WOOD, JAMES MAYNE, CRAIG ALLEN, SCOTT BEATTIE, MATTY BYE (CAPT), LOUIS ROBERTS, RYAN TURNER, BEN SEYMOUR, BILLY TUCKER.

SUBS:

CRAIG VEAL, DAN WESTERN, CONNOR CLIFFORD.