COVID-19: THE WEEKEND OF SOCIAL DISTANCING, BEFORE BEING INSTRUCTED TO STAY HOME...

Covid-19: THE FINAL WEEK-END OF 'FREEDOM'...

So, it was Saturday 21st March and decent weather. After a stroll to the local shop for a ‘Times’ newspaper and some milk, socially distancing myself from other folks by zig-zagging across roads to avoid even three metres of contact and then manipulating the store’s door with some smart elbowing, I took a quieter route back to the house. 

Couldn’t believe it was a Saturday though, for there was no soccer game to report on, film and blog about and my body was unable to accept that no Friday night Bangladeshi food from Cafe Saffron in Knowle was churning inside me. Surely it was a Thursday? No, it really was a Saturday… So, where to go to exercise the legs, breathe in fresher air, socially distance myself from humanity and enjoy a quiet couple of hours? Ah, yes! Bradnock’s Marsh, Hampton in Arden and a hike around Barston Lake! Now that seemed like a decent choice.

The golf club would surely be closed at one end of the lake and the trains passing to and fro at the opposite end would cause no threat to me at all. Thus, I parked my car at the end of Marsh Lane and set out walking towards the lake, only to come face to face with a chap who had the collective aura of stamp collector, train spotter and groundhopper hovering all about him. His trouser bottoms had socially distanced themselves from his socks and I was forced to close my eyes, hold my breath and pass him at an angle in an oblique social distancing movement, reminiscent of country dancing at Primary School when I was a kid. A fine start…

There were dog walkers. There are always dog walkers. And then the lake came into view but I could also see many parked vehicles to the right, a fair number of them vans and all around the lake were, er, fishermen. No women, just men… The numbered fishing stages were mostly taken but at least the stages were distanced from each other and therefore the fishermen were able to socially distance themselves from their fellow competitors, to a degree. The equipment on view for this Marston Masters Match (3) was remarkable, with several rods per competitor, all kinds of bait wriggling in tins, landing nets with long handles, extensions for rods and all kinds of fishing wear on display, plus mod-cons to make the often dreary weather conditions more comfortable. 

Wanting solace and to be nowhere near anyone, I was now plagued by having to pass so many people huddled over their lines, conversing and contesting, yet it didn’t dawn on me until afterwards that I didn’t see one single fish caught… 

Then it became clear that some golfers were on the course too. One hole actually tees off on the lake’s bank and the shot involves chipping the ball over a section of water onto the green and I was forced to walk past three guys teeing off, watched by several other folks. The social distancing business was getting harder… 

Incredibly, it also became clear that some people were sitting outside the golf club’s bar, drinking… It was like a normal summer’s afternoon, bar a slightly lower temperature and I realised that socially distancing myself was becoming quite a challenge once more…

Surely Sunday 22nd, Mother’s Day, could involve a better destination for a walk and some fresher air, especially as the March sunshine had reappeared. My morning walk to the shop involved meeting no-one, until I arrived at the shop’s car-park… Two cyclists, two dog walkers, an elderly couple and a lady I might have recognised, had she not been wearing a woolly hat pulled down towards her spectacles, all converged on the door at the same time. I distanced myself, somewhat unsocially I will admit and finally hooked open the door with my skilled right elbow. 

The lady with the woolly hat is a hairdresser, I believe and she greeted me in the crisps aisle, where I picked up two bags of Wotsits and told her I was stockpiling them. It’s what I do… (Joke, not stockpile…) 

After lunch a drive to Blockley in the Cotswolds was negotiated and this village would surely be quiet…

However, driving across the bridge over the River Avon at Bidford, it was clear that lots of people had parked near the river and groups of them had surrounded picnic tables, others walked dogs, others pushed young kids in pushchairs, etc… I was incredulous… Having been told to socially distance by the current government, these groups of folks were doing the exact opposite, possibly in response to not being able to go to the pub, or eat out in a restaurant (it was Mother’s Day after all…) 

Blockley? Residents walking dogs, a crowd round the cafe/post office buying takeaway drinks and ice-creams, walkers and tourists all busied themselves in the lovely village. Socially distancing myself again, I was able to enjoy the less populated areas… 

I get irritated though by elderly walkers who carry ski poles… Do they really intend to impress onlookers by sliding, slalom-like down muddy paths? What is wrong with them? Now those are the kinds of people we ALL need to socially distance ourselves from…