TOILET ROLLS: CHUCKING THEM ONTO FOOTBALL PITCHES...

Covid-19: 

The Mowdog Writes About Toilet Rolls...

So there were these guys at Aston Villa, whose season ticket seats were in the Doug Ellis Stand and they would disappear to the Gents’ toilets just prior to kick-off and commandeer paper hand-towels from the dispensers. They would return to their seats and chat to each other whist ripping the towels to shreds, before simply throwing them upwards when the team ran out, so that lots of folks in the seats below them would find scraps of paper fluttering down upon their hair and coats. 

I found the stunt rather silly in truth but the upshot was that when chaps went to the loo at half-time or during the match (depending how much beer had been consumed beforehand), there was no facility for hand-drying. In fact though, washing hands after peeing was not common in those days of crowded urinals at football grounds. Actually, many chaps still don’t wash their hands after peeing in public toilets… 

Those middle-aged men at Villa Park were the same fellows who would stand up and wave banknotes towards spectators in the popular Holte End, whilst chanting “You can’t afford these seats, you can’t afford these seats, cuz we’ve got loads of money, cuz we’ve got loads of money…” and so on, to the tune of ‘For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow’. It was embarrassing…

LIKE THIS SHOEBILL STORK, THE MOWDOG IS ALSO GETTING ANNOYED BY THE TOILET ROLL PHENOMENON...

This brings me to toilet rolls. When I watched football in the 1960s, toilet rolls were thrown onto pitches by lots of supporters, often leaving streaming trails of unused tissue all across the playing area. Presumably, this was simply, er, fun, although if your team was playing like shit, it would have been deemed as a criticism. The phenomenon was eventually banned.

TYPICAL BOG ROLL APPEARANCE NEAR A GOAL NET...

Recently I have seen images of a number of people leaving supermarkets with trolleys full of toilet rolls, kitchen rolls and tissues, which leads me to believe that with Aston Villa currently perilously close to a potential relegation position during this delayed season, those shoppers will have a place to unload some of the spares when the Covid-19 crisis is finally over…  

THE BODGING PROVES HOW DIFFICULT IT WOULD BE FOR HIM TO CHUCK A BOG ROLL THESE DAYS...