ALVECHURCH 1-2 HEREFORD FC: light-hearted, neutral match report by THE MOWDOG...

Noisy Crowd Become Bulls’ 12th Man As Sick As Parrots ‘Church Suffer Bad Day At the Office In A Funny Old Game…

Alvechurch 1-2 Hereford FC

As I hate football clichés so much, I decided to include as many as I could recall in my report of this really important, all-ticket clash at Lye Meadow. They are in italics and I apologise unreservedly... Hereford deserved to win the encounter for their first 70 minutes of effort, when they really put a shift in, during which they found that goals really do win games. Early doors, the guests looked more comfortable, anchored by the tireless and excellent Rob Purdie in midfield, but striker Mike Symons simply led the attacking line like a stalwart and this allowed wide-men Sirdic Grant and Sierra Leone’s Mustapha Bundu room to work the ball wide, both of whom enjoyed fine tussles with ‘Church’s Zack Foster and Chris Field respectively. Neither Bull was on the scoresheet but threaten they did. Purdie’s goal lit up the opening period during which the furious ‘Church coaching staff became frustrated at their players’ seeming inability to avoid delivering long balls at mesomorphic forward Jordan Nadat and an exasperated bellow was heard: “Pass the f……’ thing…” A second goal from a corner seemingly saw Hereford safe but a 71st minute goal by home substitute Danny Ashton meant that the tide had turned but despite some domination, ‘Church couldn’t buy a goal to regain parity. Even a disputed penalty (I’ve seen them given…) won by Nadat’s low centre of gravity and subsequently saved superbly by Martin Horsell, would not shift the Bulls. 

THANKS TO THE CHAIRMAN OF ALVECHURCH, WHO ALLOWED ME TO LURK ON THE ROOF...

Spectators timed their fighting to perfection, for ‘Church were on a roll, had moved up a gear and Hereford had their backs to the wall but the game was understandably stopped for a while by referee Kevin Carroll, allowing the visitors some respite of course and the hosts were unable to regain that streak of ascendancy they had acquired. Metal barriers were hurled upwards like they were cabers being tossed at the Highland Games, beer fizzed into the darkening sky, assailants assailed and confrontations were confrontational. A few policemen moved across eventually but they were surely unwilling to get physical at that time of night. A crunch game, a big crowd, a drummer drumming, the presence of an ex-league club, which is a household name, at a smaller venue with beer flowing and I guess it was no surprise that tempers thus became frayed…

OH DEAR...

SETTLED THE TEAM DOWN THOUGH...

The pitch had taken some heavy showers of rain during the day and before kick-off, and the evidence was there for all to see, with a brook glistening along the touchline on the dugout-side of the sloping surface. Home ’keeper Paul Evans demonstrated the down side of the surface when an early left-flank cross by Hereford’s skipper Joel Edwards was glanced across the goal-face by Symons, not a household name but with good feet for a big man, forcing Evans to run left and slide onto the ball. Only he kept sliding… He was forced to release the ball as he slid out of the penalty-box, a real heads-up reaction, then stood quickly, side-footed the ball back inside the rectangle and picked it up. “Phew…” he thought. Well, maybe he thought: “F… me…”

THE TOSSERS...
(PARDON THE EXPRESSION...)

Luke Paskin nudged a left-wing corner well wide early doors, as Alvechurch countered but the guests were there to spoil the party for the hosts and attempted to take the game by the scruff of the neck. Nadat did manage to feed Jack Cresswell on the left though, but the forward dragged his low left-footer well wide of the FC goal. Evans then did really well to plunge into the mire at Grant’s feet and block the striker’s angled effort near his left upright, after Grant had edged between Foster and Cresswell to engineer the chance. Nadat fastened onto a James Spray head-on but his 25 yard shot rose into Row Z, before Symons, a dying breed, built like the proverbial brick shit-house, battled onto a Birch pass but was fouled by Paskin, to allow Bundu a 23 yard free-kick shot near the ‘D’, which fizzed wide of the left angle of bar and horizontal pole.

Sloppy defending from a right-side corner by ‘Church, saw the ball ricochet out to a shamefully unmarked Grant, off Parsons’ head but from 15 yards his hurried drive was wild and veered left past the goal-frame into the Bulls’ fans. Another mix-up by the harassed home defence allowed FC midfielder Aaron Birch a shot from 30 yards, which was also off target, then following some smart Grant play, Symons’ shot was weak. The opening goal, when it came, arrived courtesy of a poor touch, the intervention of the slippery surface and a fine, astute finish by a quality footballer.

0-1...

PURDIE THE SCORER...

EVANS: UNFORTUNATE...

Evans raced out of goal to harry Hereford’s Haysham, whose final touch had been as loose as the ladder I’d climbed up to the roof on and once again Evans slid well to save but the ball bounced off his torso and flew out to Purdie, lurking, as ever, some 30 yards from goal and his precise clipped shot was unerring, as the spectating Bulls behind the net boomed their approval.

Evans did well to punch away a Bundu byeline cross from the left, after the Sierra Leone man had cruised past Chris Field but ‘Church were still unable to stamp their ability onto the proceedings, with too many kicks away from defence and too few measured passes through midfield. Skipper Dave Bellis, Sam Williams and Ryan Winwood were all busy but they simply couldn’t affect the match enough. Finally though, Nadat’s persistence, after a half of heavy marking by FC’s Nathan Summers and Ryan Green, managed to offer the somewhat disappointing Cresswell a shooting chance, which he took from 20 yards but Martin Horsell in the Hereford goal fell left to gather in the mud. Defensive hesitancy again by the hosts allowed Bundu to cut inside from the left but his shot was, er, wayward, then neater play by ‘Church led to Nadat getting in a left-side cross but the ground conditions beat two supporting colleagues and the half ended in disappointment for the pre-match league leaders. 

Hereford would have been really pleased, they’d set out their stall, they’d found acres of space in the trenches and on the right through right-back Jimmy Oates. They had moved up a gear whenever possible and they had seemingly wanted it more. ‘Church had perhaps assumed the role of underdog, their half had become pear-shaped, they had almost lost the plot and needed to pull something out of the bag… The queues formed at the beer gazebo, I remained on the sodden roof, Coventry United were drawing 1-1 with Nuneaton Griff in the League 1 third v second clash and Steve Burr had been sacked as Chester manager. He’s family, so I wasn’t pleased…

Evans was forced to grab the ball in the muck as Hereford attacked at the start of the second period then Andrew Parsons’ error allowed Bundu a run towards goal and good feet took him diagonally inside from the left. His low 25 yard drive was well struck but Evans did really well to plunge left and turn the ball aside with a strong hand. Williams slapped a 30 yard effort off target at the other end but the game was suddenly killed a little, when the Bulls gained a right-wing corner and scored from it. The delivery was sound by Purdie, Oates got behind Spray, fell to head the ball downwards inside the 6 yard box and as it bounced, Haysham, back to goal, fell to overhead-kick an effort through a crowd of players and into the net. Simples…

0-2...

HAYSHAM THIS TIME...

Alvechurch needed a change or two, so Cresswell and Field were replaced by Nathan Waite and Nick Wright, although neither really affected the game much at all. Three home players jumped for a Purdie corner but messed up, only for Symons to be unable to shoot and for Oates to fire wastefully but then Bundu and Grant fooled the struggling ‘Church defence and really ought to have buried their hosts. Purdie was involved in the measured attack too but when Bundu played a one-two, albeit via a slight deflection, with Grant, Bundu released Grant centrally past a surprised Parsons but the lively striker drove his 12 yarder too high. Nadat then threatened for ‘Church, turning, left-side near the byeline and his angled drive struck hardy Hereford defender Ryan Green but Nadat was there again, except that he tried to cut back onto his trusty left boot and not shoot with his right, so that Purdie got in a crucial challenge.

REHEARSAL FOR 'SWAN LAKE'...

Bundu was replaced by Dylan Bonella for Hereford, before a fine left-wing centre by Edwards was headed over the Alvechurch crossbar by Grant after a clever run to the near post. Bellis was replaced by Danny Ashton for ‘Church and he would make a difference, simply by positioning himself wide on the right. Width was something the hosts hadn’t employed much thus far and Ashton made an immediate impact. Two low crosses from the byeline were intercepted but between those two deliveries, Nadat’s fight and Spray’s persistence saw the ball fall to the loosely marked Ashton, right side of the penalty-area and from an angle, he shot off and beyond Horsell into the far corner of the net to reduce the arrears. Not a worldie but a life-saver for ‘Church and a wake up call for the Bulls.

BUNDU TAKES A BREAK...

1-2 NOW: ASHTON HAS PULLED A GOAL BACK...

No clean sheet for the Bulls then, a collector’s item for Ashton, so ‘Church would surely throw the kitchen sink at FC, who must have feared a late backlash. Waite could get no purchase on a header from Spray’s right-side centre, before a smashed clearance by a Hereford defender struck the roof of the platform I was standing on and ricocheted at a guy’s beer container, which was torn from his grasp and the liquid soaked his clothing. Brilliant accuracy on the clearance, brilliant humour displayed by the drinker…

Another Ashton cross was shepherded away (no, Hereford are Bulls, so maybe drovered away?) towards Parsons, whose shot flew to concede a throw-in at the left corner-flag, before Grant was replaced for FC by Joe Tumelty Suddenly, Nadat fed the criminally free, waiting Waite on the left but he dallied too long really, allowing Purdie (no surprise there) to cover and when he was partially tackled, the ball fell for Spray, whose 25 yard shot dropped just over the crossbar with Horsell back-hoofing. And then the game erupted… 

Nadat turned inside the penalty-box, all arms and physicality and quickly fell, the referee didn’t really signal at first but I believe his assistant saw a foul and a penalty was awarded to ‘Church. Red mist descended, a bullish ‘fan’ even entered the field of play, there was a ‘discussion’ but eventually, Nadat lined up his spot-kick confidently. He struck the ball hard and low to Horsell’s right but the ‘keeper was quick and dived to make a fine save. The crowd spilled over the rail onto the back of the net, things appeared to be getting slightly out of control but with Alvechurch on top for the first time in the game, emotions were badly fraught. Parsons’ scooped 28 yarder was caught under his crossbar by Horsell but with FC suffering squeaky bum time, giving 110% with their backs to the wall, the interruption came at the perfect time to calm things down for them.

NOT THE IDEAL PLACE TO AWARD ALVECHURCH A PENALTY, MR CARROLL...

The fight was sad to see. The majority of spectators at the game were decent people. Those who became embroiled in the nastiness will no doubt escape punishment, however. That is also sad…

The final chance was squandered by the hosts but three interventions by Hereford’s Nathan Summers saved the day, following a Foster free-kick. First, he was there to hack a weak shot by Waite from his goal-line, after Horsell had been challenged by Nadat, had lost the ball and Spray’s nudge had fallen for Waite to strike, then the defender headed clear from phase two and finally he deflected a third phase shot from the tireless Spray for a corner. Breathless stuff and Hereford were walking a tightrope. The home goalie, Evans, the sweeper-‘keeper had a fly-kick charged down as the game wound down but that was it really and at the end of the day the visitors deservedly held out. Not a classic, not top drawer, not Roy of the Rovers stuff, not end to end, not even a game of two halves, but a rousing, exciting competition, which was won by the more accomplished team.

GOOD EVANS, A SWEEPER-'KEEPER...

Purdie’s sumptuous goal, finishing with aplomb and the eventual victory had left his colleagues and fans over the moon in this David v Goliath contest and their critics had been silenced. They hadn’t shipped goals but had won a match they had controlled for 70 minutes, finally by the skin of their teeth. Alvechurch hadn’t played in triangles or diamonds, were a little square at the back at times but with the Bulls circling for the kill, they had been reduced to linear boots forward for much of the game, until Ashton employed the right side of the 18 yard rectangle. No trapezium, but it matters not. Paskin was cautioned near the end, taking one for the team (I hate that phrase) but with other similar offences not yellow-carded, perhaps Mr Carroll thought they were all six of one and half a dozen of the other.

ABOVE & BELOW: THE  AFTERMATH...

Purdie and Symons were so good for the guests, the full-backs strong and the ‘keeper superb on the night but there will be disappointment for the hosts, whose central defence looked uncomfortable all evening, for despite their late vein of form, their only course now is to take each game as it comes…

Me? Heard that Coventry United’s added-time penalty had beaten Griff 3-2… Climbed down the shaky ladder with care then drove home for a pee and a strong mug of tea. 

It’s what I do, you see… 

TEAMS:

ALVECHURCH:

Paul Evans, Chris Field, Zack Foster, Dave Bellis (Capt), Andrew Parsons, Luke Paskin, Ryan Winwood, Sam Williams, Jordan Nadat, James Spray, Jack Cresswell.

SUBS:

Mark Smith, Nathan Waite, Nick WRight, Danny Ashton, Matt Sargeant (gk).

HEREFORD FC:

Martin Horsell, Jimmy Oates, Joel Edwards (Capt), Rob Purdie, Ryan Green, Nathan Summers, Mustapha Bundu, Aaron Birch, Sirdic Grant, Pablo Haysham, Mike Symons.

SUBS:

Jamie Laird, Dylan Bonella, Anthony Robbins, Joe Tumelty, John Mills.