ALVIS SPORTING 4-0 EARLSWOOD TOWN: full report by THE MOWDOG...

Plucky Earlswood Outgunned By Relentless Tankmen…

Alvis Sporting 4-0 Earlswood Town

Despite displaying some neat midfield passing on occasions, with Declan Staunton, Ben Johnston and Mikey Corrigan prominent, Earlswood found themselves unable to threaten Alvis’ young defence too often. The visitors were 3-0 down quite quickly and although Alvis looked the stronger team throughout, with better forward movement generally, the Earls never stopped working and striker Lewis James looked a threat on several occasions, even though the best chance of a consolation goal was squandered by a replacement at the death. With a cup-tie looming on Saturday, Alvis rested Charlie Cook and he was used sparingly from the bench but it was another Coventry United old-boy, TommI Maguire (no relation, you understand) who completed the scoring after half-time and he was then withdrawn to rest his legs for the next outing. Dean Kimberlin commanded the Tankmen, ably assisted in midfield by the young and rangy Ben Cranage. Oddly, the big Earlswood centre-forward was called Small and the goalkeepers’ two surnames would surely fit into a Charles Dickens novel as money-lenders: ‘Hancock & Hooker…’ 

HOOKER ATTEMPTS TO HOOK THE BALL AWAY WITHOUT THE REFEREE NOTICING, A LINESMAN ENJOYS A GOOD SCRATCH OF HIS SCROTUM, WHILST TOMMI MAGUIRE LOCATES ANOTHER PART OF HIS ANATOMY...

An early error by the guests allowed Stefen McGrath into a shooting position for Alvis, left side of the 18 yard box but although his low shot beat David Hancock, it also beat the far post. A free-kick and then a corner for the Earls brought no reward, neither did a shot by Marcus Small from 25 yards, which he maybe hurried and the ball sliced a long way wide of the target. Maguire hadn’t touched the ball at all but his first kick was to arrow a pass left for McGrath, whose low cross into the 6 yard box was converted with little ceremony by lively home forward Shane Brassington. 

BRASSINGTON HAS STRUCK...

...1-0...

Maguire’s second touch was a skied volley, which was also a meant pass but with Staunton really looking bright for the Earls on the left side of midfield, his pass to James ended with the striker’s byeline cross shaving the far stick, as it dropped over Ashley Hooker’s concerned expression. However, the visitors were undone on their right again, as McGrath lifted the ball over the advancing Hancock for the sliding Dildale Linton to convert from a couple of yards out, at the far upright. 

GOAL FOR LINTON: 2-0...

"PLAN Z?"

It was soon 3-0 after a fine pass by Maguire to Linton on the right, cutting out the full-back, led to a corner, which Maguire clipped towards the near post. Brassington made a fine run towards the near post, his marker, Small was left trailing through the crowd and Brassington’s flicked header beat Hancock as it ripped into the roof of the net. Hancock’s half-hour had been unrewarding and I could imagine the famous Tony Hancock’s wry comment from an old BBC TV programme: “I AM fed up…”

BRASSINGTON'S HEADER...

...& IT'S 3-0...

Lax Alvis defending by Oli Basham led to James making a run into the left side of the penalty-box, he stumbled through a challenge and to his credit, didn’t fall, before his byeline cross was nudged behind for a corner by the alert Kimberlin. Both teams then attacked in turn, when Linton released Brassington on the right but was just unable to get a touch to the low delivery which came his way, then at the opposite end, Staunton was involved, as was skipper Matt Green but Hooker caught Small’s big shot from 25 yards. Both Small, who was becoming tetchy, and Kimberlin were cautioned by the tall, lean, bespectacled, glabrous referee, who was wearing black gloves and reminded me of a pathologist about to shove his hand inside a murdered torso’s stomach cavity ‘at the scene’…

THE PATHOLOGIST INTERVIEWS A BYSTANDER...

SUNSET SOCCER...

SMALL IS CAUTIONED...

Small and the nifty James combined before the latter’s pass to the unmarked Corrigan at inside-right, just 15 yards out, presented the midfielder with a good chance to get a shot on target, but his effort rose too high. The half ended with a corner from the left by Maguire, which caused Hancock worry, for he was challenged at his near post. 

SMALL & JAMES: NO JOY IN THE EARLS' ATTACK...

Alvis had looked the more dangerous but in flashes, Johnston and Staunton really had shown ability on the ball and creativity, even though the end product was too often inaccurate. Rowan O’Sullivan and Tom Keogh in the Earls’ defence had settled, after the tough opening and the concession of those three early goals but in truth, the game was already lost.

Hancock batted away an early Jordon Fesel cross from the Alvis right, following a pass by Maguire, before neat Sporting play ended with astute midfielder Cranage reaching the right byeline but Hancock clutched the low centre, then James showed his innovative ability for Town with a 28 yard dipper, which dropped too high over Hooker’s goal-frame. McGrath’s shot was deflected, before surprisingly, the enterprising Staunton was replaced for Town by Russ Moyle. 

A SHADOWY MARKING JOB...

Soon, a short corner routine between Maguire and McGrath was messed up but with Maguire looking peeved, the ball was suddenly at his feet, 25 yards from goal, inside-left channel and he simply moved on and inside a few paces, beating Rhys Edwards, before firing a low 20 yarder beyond the dive of Hancock and into the right corner of the net. 4-0 and time for Alvis to make three substitutions: Rickie Cutting had already replaced two-goal Brassington but now Maguire was replaced by Ryan Isherwood and Charlie Cook took Linton’s slot.

TOMMI MAGUIRE HAS ADDED GOAL 4...

TOMMI'S SO COOL ACCEPTANCE OF PRAISE...

The Earls attacked on the left and James drove a volley off target, the foraging Green was replaced by Joe Casley, but with a good chance to strike a shot on target, after creating his own space, James dragged a 20 yard shot well wide of the base of the left upright. McGrath then struck an Isherwood right-flank delivery into the ground, 6 yards out, the pony-tailed Hancock, rather chef-like, batted the ball upwards, like he was pan-frying and tossing a tasty fillet of hake, but he clutched the descending ball before anybody could react. Ryan Faulkner then replaced O’Sullivan, who had just been spoken to by the pathologist, the official pointing long, black-gloved fingers at the Earl…

CHARLIE COOK: A NEED TO GET HIS BOOTS DIRTY...

A Cook cross from the right byeline was nodded loosely by McGrath but Cutting (surely more adept at cutting inside?) headed the loose ball down past the right stick. McGrath lashed a late drive past the right upright from 18 yards, at the other end Casley nodded a left-side corner meekly wide at the far post and after a long Cutting volley had drifted well away from goal, the visitors missed a great chance to score a goal at the death. Small did the work on the right and although his cross evaded James at the near post, Moyle looked certain to score from 8 yards, unmarked, but his weak volley rolled to the relieved Hooker.

In all, this was a welcome three points and a four goal boost to the goal difference for Alvis, who are embarking upon a crowded schedule. The Earls must take credit for some of the passing football played, despite their lack of firepower. Sam Murphy and Adam Day looked solid enough at the back for the Tankmen but one had to sympathise with Town goalie Hancock, who is always willing to give blood for his team, but an armful? (‘The Blood Donor’, starring Tony Hancock…)

GREAT SKY...

TEAMS:

ALVIS SPORTING:

Ashley Hooker (Capt), Jordon Fesel, Oli Basham, Sam Murphy, Adam Day, Dean Kimberlin, Tommi Maguire, Ben Cranage, Dildale Linton, Shane Brassington, Stefen McGrath. 

SUBS:

Charlie Cook, Rickie Cutting, Ryan Isherwood, Reece Snape.

EARLSWOOD TOWN:

David Hancock, Rhys Edwards, Nathan Boyce, Rowan O’Sullivan, Tom Keogh, Ben Johnston, Declan Staunton, Mikey Corrigan, Marcus Small, Lewis James, Matt Green (Capt).

SUBS:

Ryan Faulkner, Adam Wormall, Russ Moyle, Joe Casley.