WADEBRIDGE TOWN 1-2 ILLOGAN RBL: full match report...

Ten-Man Illogan Snaffle Points From Wobbling Wadebridge

Wadebridge Town 1-2 Illogan RBL

This game was rather like an eighty year old grandmother rolling a tenpin bowling ball down a buffered lane for the first time, whereby the ball moves so slowly that it barely reaches the pins but then, crazily, it knocks all the skittles down for a dramatic finishing strike. The first-half was feeble at times, littered with petty fouls and mistakes, so that rarely were the teams able to create anything at all. Corners and free-kicks brought little real threat and neither goalkeeper was particularly extended. However, Illogan’s Sam Emery had been cautioned during the half and his regular rants at the officials finally caught up with him, for after the Waders had been awarded a penalty during the second period, he spoke out of turn again like the loud kid in class and he was thus excluded, permanently. He was sent to stand outside the headteacher’s room and suddenly, following the successful spot-kick, with Emery gone, the game became eminently watchable and both teams looked likely to score, whereas they had appeared impotent previously. An equaliser for the guests, after Wader Connor Mewton had skied a great chance to settle the contest, led to a decent climax and following the puzzling replacement of efficient home right-back Dan O’Hara with literally seconds left, the visitors knocked down all the pins for a strike, as centre-forward Dan Richards reaped a reward for a positive personal contribution. The goal celebration, a GCSE (Goal Celebration of Some Exuberance) was wonderfully over the top and the Waders sank like camels to their knees…

THE TOSS...

A careless start to the game was punctuated by an overhead effort by RBL’s Steve Abbott-Smith, which home goalie Dan Peters picked up easily but a couple of right-side corners by Wader playmaker Neal Kinsman, the gifted and talented one, were won aerially by his left-back Kieran Conibere-Trathan, only for his two headers to fly back towards the right corner of the penalty-box. Even the game’s first chance was a combination of a deflection and good fortune for the guests. Harley Westlake rapped a low left-footer into the 6 yard box and the ball deflected off RBL right-back David Thomas and only keen reactions by ‘keeper Saul Scarry saw the effort fly wide off his outstretched right boot. Kinsman’s set-pieces dominated his team’s offense and impressive home defender Sam Gerken flicked a pair of near post headers off target, Conibere-Trathan nodded one back inside for Lewis Prince to hook too high and near the end of the half, another right-side flag-kick bounced, evaded the crowd of jumpers and Westlake must have been shocked when the ball struck his forehead and looped too high.

NOBODY HELPS WESTLAKE, SO GUESS WHERE THE BALL STRUCK HIM?

SCARRY HAS SAVED FROM WESTLAKE'S DEFLECTED EFFORT...

Kinsman’s free-kick shot was too easy for Scarry to claim following Gerken’s strident run but yet another Kinsman free-kick and a probable foul on Mewton, as he tried to shoot from 23 yards, led to one of Illogan’s best three efforts of the 45 minutes.The break led to Richards cutting inside from the right but his shot lacked power and Dan Peters fell to save. Richards was involved in the other two moments of RBL attacking too. First, after the underused Dario Pisano had fed Luke Abbott-Smith for a right-flank centre, Richards’ far post header drifted across the goalmouth with no colleague present and finally Luke Abbott-Smith’s low left-footed cross was cleverly flicked goalwards at the near post by the RBL number 9 but a fine leap down by Dan Peters prevented a goal.

PHYSICAL EDUCATION...

CAUTION FOR EMERY...

So a half of set-pieces ended with Illogan’s Stuart Peters’ free-kick-taking left boot and Wader Kinsman’s set-piece-taking right boot needing some resuscitation. Little of quality had been displayed although Richards and the Town striker Kyle Flew had made regular promising runs for their teams. Steve Abbott-Smith for RBL and Conibere-Trathan for Town had been the playground bullies but neither team had deserved a lead and in truth, the game continued like this after the interval, until that is, Emery, who had been booked for a cynical foul on Wader Callum Wilson (no, not the Bournemouth one…) spoke once too often in assembly…

PISANO IS CROWDED OUT...

Wadebridge’s senior managers had set the targets for their team, their progress had been tracked as not very good thus far and their coach’s WILF (What I’m Looking For) hadn’t corresponded to the players’ WALT (We Are Learning To). Illogan had wrapped around the home forwards well enough, their primary aim, but had not yet responded to offensive questioning from their learning mentors. Were special needs being attended to? Would Ofsted be pleased thus far? Probably not. Both teams were in sore need of BLP (Building their Learning Power). The central defenders had all managed well enough thus far and the three Illogan tall lads in midfield: the Abbott-Smiths and Joe Carlyon had been joyously physical.

After Conibere-Trathan had kept in the ball at the left byeline, Flew saw a shot blocked but then both teams actually went close to scoring. A fine Flew cross from the right left Westlake alone at the far stick but Scarry dropped right to make a fine catch then a long Scarry kick (well, not THAT scary…) was nudged right by Richards for Steve Abbott-Smith to strike goalwards from 24 yards but his effort went wide of the left upright. However, Mewton, who had changed roles with Wilson, fell under the marking Emery’s pressure from behind, Emery was red-carded and Kinsman shot the resulting penalty low to Scarry’s right to give the hosts a one goal and a one man advantage.

MEWTON WINS A PENALTY...

EMERY (6) ARGUES...

...IS DISMISSED...

...& IS TOLD TO GO TO THE GRANDSTAND, AS KINSMAN PREPARES TO TAKE THE PENALTY...

GOAL! 1-0...

Already, the solid Will Cherrill had replaced the hurt Prince for the hosts and Joe Crossman had replaced David Mitchell (no, not Victoria Coren’s husband...) for the guests but then things became as unpleasant as a Key Stage One literacy hour for Mewton in particular. First he misplaced his pass on a two-on-two break, before Wilson sliced an angled shot wide and was quickly substituted by Gwion Robertson, then Westlake saw a shot deflected wide but soon provided the assist for a game-changing miss by Mewton, who lifted the ball over the target from very close range. Double geometry homework for him, then. Immediately, Illogan regained parity.

OOPS...

DAN PETERS: 2 FINE SAVES FROM PISANO...

GERKEN: A DECENT ALL-ROUND GAME...

ILLOGAN ARE FIGHTING BACK...

A corner was cleared to Pisano, whose new lease of life since the departure of Emery was remarkable and the forward’s 24 yard drive took a deflection past the helpless Dan Peters.

GOAL! 1-1...

PISANO'S SHOT HAS BEATEN PETERS...

PARITY REGAINED...

A neat push between the legs of an opponent by Robertson set up Kinsman for an angled shot, which Scarry reacted well to and beat aside, Mewton sliced a shot wide of the right post from 20 yards as he slipped, following a Kinsman corner and until Pisano ran clear onto Richards’ fine flick towards the right, it had seemed merely a matter of time before the Waders took the victory. Pisano attempted to chip Dan Peters but the advancing ‘keeper did really well to claw the ball away for a corner. Still ‘Bridge pushed on and Flew made ground, did all the right things then shot so tamely that groans were audible around Bodieve Park and he would be subjected to extra shooting practice at the after school club. Scarry made a superb catch from a Mewton cross, visiting left-back Nathan Hampton was cautioned as things became desperate, but the RBL defence managed to deflect another Westlake skidder for a corner, before Myles Harrison surprisingly replaced the really decent Dan O’Hara for the final seconds…

PETERS HAS SAVED FROM PISANO...

That inclusion was all it took for RBL to win a throw deep left, the ball was knocked into the penalty-box and the Waders’ secondary by Pisano, Richards was unmarked but Dan Peters threw himself at the striker’s shot and blocked it, only for the ball to bob upwards in the subsequent melee and Richards dived forward to head the ball just inside the right upright. Mad celebrations, for granny’s tenpin ball had scored its strike… Richards’ PSHE (Personal Social Health Education) was in danger as players leapt upon him like it was a playtime beating-up but no time was left for Wadebridge as the home-time bell rang...

GOAL! 1-2...

ADDED-TIME WINNER BY RICHARDS...

THE CUDDLE...

THE COLLAPSE...

THAT'S ENOUGH; LEAVE HIM THERE...

A very reasonable second period had been offered by the players, the dramatic finish by the ten men was unexpected but I had said to someone on the touchline that the Illogan number 9, now top of the class, looked like he could do something... During the half, we saw Thomas lose the ball as he took a throw for the guests, which was given as a foul-throw, so Conibere-Trathan lifted his back foot as he took the ensuing throw for the hosts and RBL received another chance to throw the ball in correctly… How very odd. Off to the naughty step with both of you...

The hosts must have felt like they were in special measures by the end, whilst the guests had graduated from a severe ten-man examination; gods, that SATS result was well earned. The Waders would be planning an INSET evening to assess the performance and storytime didn’t need to be about Halloween, for the horror of defeat was surely enough for the players...

TEAMS:

WADEBRIDGE TOWN:

DAN PETERS, DAN O’HARA, KIERAN CONIBERE-TRATHAN, SAM GERKEN, LEIGHTON CARHART, NEAL KINSMAN, LEWIS PRINCE, CONNOR MEWTON, CALLUM WILSON, KYLE FLEW, HARLEY WESTLAKE.

SUBS:
GWION ROBERTSON, MYLES HARRISON, WILL CHERRILL.

ILLOGAN RBL:

SAUL SCARRY, DAVID THOMAS, NATHAN HAMPTON, JOE CARLYON, STUART PETERS, SAM EMERY, DARIO PISANO, LUKE ABBOTT-SMITH, DAN RICHARDS, STEVE ABBOTT-SMITH, DAVID MITCHELL.

SUBS:

JOE CROSSMAN, DARREN DAVEY, MIKE PASCOE.