BINFIELD 3-2 TUFFLEY ROVERS: light-hearted report by THE MOWDOG...

Moles Dig Deep As Rovers’ Lead Goes To the Dogs

Binfield 3-2 Tuffley Rovers

I saw the reverse fixture at Tuffley a short time ago and having lived in Bracknell for 18 months around 1970 whilst at Bulmershe College in Reading studying P.E., I simply had to make a visit to Hill Farm Lane. Fittingly, I adopted a mole hand-puppet to take with me, even had a molar removed at my dentist’s on the previous Tuesday, which of course meant that my gum was still too sore to endure a Binfield Moleburger before the game. Cripes, how sad… Binfield Manager Roger Herridge was keen to get his hand inside the mole, as you do, two-goal Liam Ferdinand met the mascot after the final whistle too, for he had been instrumental in overturning a 0-2 Tuffley lead after the interval. A poor start by the home defence, whereby they looked lethargic and more sloth-like than mole-like, afforded Rovers two simple finishes by skipper Warren Mann and striker Jordan Fletcher, who retired soon after his strike. A soft free-kick goal by Josh Horton, then two typical predatory right-footers by Ferdimole, er, Ferdinand, settled the affair, which suffered rain showers then a hail-blast, which rattled on the tin roof. Interestingly, it was St Piran’s Day in Cornwall, who was the patron saint of tin mining. No idea why I mentioned that. 

THE TOSS.
LIAM FERDINAND, LEFT, WONDERS WHY HE'S NOT AT HOME IN THE WARM...

Tuffley took a very early lead when Christopher Dean, badly missing his skating partner, was left frustrated at the edge of his own penalty-box, as his colleagues messed up and Ryan Dobbins trotted onto the ball, slipped the ball to Fletcher in a tight situation and suddenly, Mann was there, left of centre, to trundle a low drive into the bottom right corner of the net from 12 yards, with home ‘keeper Charlie Lusty helpless to do more than complain. Mr Herridge’s comment of: “Dear me…” was audible to my left, except that I’m certain ‘Dear’ doesn’t begin with an ‘F’…

JORDAN FLETCHER, RIGHT: DIDN'T LAST LONG...

GOAL FOR WARREN MANN...

...& IT'S 0-1 TO TUFFLEY...

A rather poor start by the Moles, in their red, velvety-fur moleskin jerkins was punctuated by Dean, who attempted a spectacular strike from 28 yards, which visiting pink-clad goalie Phil Clarke tipped away from the top left corner of his goal, although the ensuing corner by Jack Gibbs caused mayhem, as it swerved in at the near post and virtually struck Rover McCauley Herbert on his own goal-line. This was the first instance which led to Mr Herridge commenting that his team was not anticipating events, for the loose ball was hacked away by Tuffley. A long run by Brett James for the guests saw him trip, possibly on a molehill, cleverly placed by the groundsman inside the home penalty-area and the ball ran on to Lusty, who again yelled lustily about the rather slack cover he’d received thus far.

MY VIEW OF THE NEAR TOUCHLINE, THE MUD PACK AND THE HUDDLERS...

JACK GIBBS IN PURSUIT...

However, out of no pressure at all, with the game still fractured by errors and misplaced passes by both teams, although Mann was evident in his work ethic for the visitors and James Knight was shedding the confines of the opening stages for the Moles, Tuffley were gifted a 0-2 lead. A long throw by Kieran Squires, I think, was simply back-headed at the near post by Fletcher, Lusty dropped right, got a glove to the ball at his near post but failed to prevent it from bouncing abjectly into his net. Maybe he’d needed a mole-glove, with the extra thumb, as moles possess, which might just have afforded him a more solid touch. OK, maybe not…  

0-2 BUT HARDLY ECSTATIC CELEBRATIONS...

...BUT JORDAN FLETCHER IS HURT...

...& SOON RETIRES TO THE DAMPNESS OF THE DUGOUT...

Fletcher was uncomfortable with a knock and was soon replaced by Ryan Williams, who worked really hard as a lone striker for the guests throughout the remainder of the game, as his team-mates dropped deeper and Binfield began to wrestle command of the match, although Mark O’Connell’s two overlaps had resulted in inaccurate deliveries thus far. A weak shot by Liam Wright for Rovers, following Williams’ feed and more hesitant Mole defending, was collected by Lusty but then O’Connell’s buttocks prevented Wright’s next shot from troubling the home custodian, after a sideways pass from Dobbins. At this point, Tuffley almost seemed to drop off, visibly and Binfield’s midfield began to get the cogs working and central defenders Jack Broome and Alex Luis looked more confident and rarely erred until the end of the match. A Howell effort was deflected wide off a Tuffley arm, unintentionally, surely, but the right-side corner by Gibbs flapped into the side-netting. Gibbs’ right-flank free-kick flew off the back of Dean’s skull onto the crossbar, Clarke nudged another corner away for another flag-kick, then after Williams, alone ran the ball forward for Rovers, Binfield attacked again. Ferdinand dispossessed defender Harry Walker, moved towards the left byeline, cut inside and only a leaping challenge by the reliable Marcus Foxwell deflected the shot over the crossbar. 

WARREN MANN, LEFT, FULL OF ENERGY THROUGHOUT...

Clarke blocked a shot from the right side of the penalty-box by Ferdinand at his near post, Dean headed the subsequent corner way too high and Ferdinand threatened twice more, as it seemed only a matter of time before the Moles dug themselves out of their hole. Ethan Jerome fastened onto a sweeping Broome pass but Ferdinand struck the shot from 20 yards, albeit wide of the left post and as the interval approached, the hard working Howell reached the right byeline but his perfect pull-back was miscued by Jerome, who was probably unsighted by his beard and Mr Herridge, seething somewhat, as well as being rather wet from the rain, stalked away to the dressing-rooms to have words with his Moles.

Moles have a toxin in their saliva, which paralyses earthworms and I reckon that the toxic words of Moleman Herridge paralysed his chaps into more ascendancy after the break, during which they had surely dipped their earthworms into steamy mugs of tea, provided by Michael Walton’s mum, for they equalised almost immediately after half-time from a free-kick awarded 25 yards from goal when Ferdinand was dropped by a defender. Howell lined up a shot, appeared not to strike it cleanly but it passed the Rovers’ defensive-wall and evaded Clarke’s dive as it nestled rather unbelievably inside the left upright. 

1-2...

...& JOSH HOWELL'S FREE-KICK HAS CREPT IN...

Soon Ferdinand was again fouled by Tuffley but this time, Howell’s free-kick from the left was taken into his midriff by Clarke. Howell was then involved in a very strange incident, for Rover Callum Preece, near his own byeline, defensive left, was tackled by O’Connell, the ball spurted to Ferdinand on the byeline itself and he was certainly offside but he was unselfish and switched-on too, pushing a low pass across the goalmouth, past Clarke to Howell, who was certain to score but the ball rolled into a guacamole dip and somehow he scooped it over the crossbar. The linesman turned to me and reckoned he’d missed that Ferdinand was offside. I agreed. So Howell was placated and I’ll say he knew that his striker was offside and in the interests of fair play, kicked the ball out…

CALLUM PREECE WINS POSSESSION FOR ROVERS...

Jerome, after a quiet game, was replaced by Danny Horscroft and his speedy bustling style certainly added a different dimension to the Moles’ display. Tuffley were clinging on, with Williams even more isolated, for Dobbins and James were defending smoothly and although a James shot did deflect off Broome for a rare corner, Binfield were beginning to dominate more and more. Howell cut inside from the left but his delivery was well off target and then Horscroft changed the game.

He broke free at inside-left but instead of attempting the glory (being on the bench often skews players’ decisions) he was sensible, squared the ball for Ferdinand, who neatly side-stepped Squires and fired low into the left corner of the net from 10 yards, with Clarke well beaten. 

2-2 & LIAM FERDIMOLE RACES TO THANK DANNY HORSCROFT FOR HIS ASSIST...

With parity regained, O’Connell was dropped by a launched tackle, or Molestation, by a Tuffley defender but the two officials, close by, awarded a throw, which so angered Mr Herridge that he enquired of the referee: “Excuse me good Sir, am I right in thinking that one is allowed to practise one’s long jump techniques during this match?” I think he yelled that at the official anyway, although his condemnation might well have utilised other expressions from his Thesaurus. Tristan Haswell replaced Callum Preece for the guests, and the industrious Carl Withers was replaced for Binfield by Walton, son of The Moleburger-maker. He steadied the Moles, sitting in front of the dashing Luis and Broome and wasn’t afraid to look for a killer pass either. 

LIAM WRIGHT IS ABOUT TO SHOOT JUST TOO HIGH...

Williams did manage to threaten Binfield once, when he latched onto a long boot forward near the right byeline and despite the attentions of both Broome and Dean, he managed an angled shot, which clipped the cross-beam. Williams then fed Wright for a shot off target, before the slightly limping Wright was replaced by Walter Greenwood, just as the hail began. Was it something Walter said? Rovers were holding out, a couple of defensive headers by Dobbins were crucial, both Horscroft and Ferdinand were snubbed on the edge of the penalty-area but then the Moles were awarded a right-wing corner, which Howell took.

Ten minutes left, Howell’s corner was headed by Gibbs, nodded clear by Dobbins but straight to Ferdinand, rather strangely unmarked, 15 yards out, right of centre and the in-form finisher didn’t hesitate, volleying an unerring shot into the bottom left corner of the net. 

3-2 NOW...

...& FERDINAND HAS WON THE GAME FOR THE MOLES...

Dean took a break, being replaced by Aaron Rowland, Howell’s next shot was deflected for another corner but a fine pass by Walton set Ferdinand free at inside-left and although his calm finish beat the advancing Clarke, the ball rolled wide of the right stick. It only remained for Tuffley’s Greenwood to be given time by at least five home players to get in a 19 yard shot, which flew too high and for Mr Herridge to rue the defending, turning to anyone within earshot to complain: “Gadzooks! The fellow was afforded so much room by my chaps! Did no-one think about, perhaps, affecting a challenge of some type, maybe?” I think that’s what he bellowed bitterly anyway…  

ROVERS HUNT DOWN A MOLE...

So, Rovers had squandered their advantage, had also missed Fletcher despite Williams’ admirable efforts, for like ions, unfortunately their electrical charge had lasted only so long, whereas, as Molecules, lacking that electrical charge, Binfield, as atoms held together by chemical bonds, outlasted their ion guests and won out in the end. Despite making a mountain out of a molehill, the hosts finally appeased their frustrated, rained and hailed upon manager and snaffled the three points. And they had a Ferdinand in attack.

The home defence came through a tough start to look comfortable, Knight, Withers, Howell and Dean were similarly combative in midfield, although the calm Walton certainly offered a different dimension near the end. Horscroft’s pace aided Ferdinand when he replaced the unlucky Jerome but fair play to Mann, James, Wright and Foxwell, among others, for the Tuffley fight never waned, despite the odds worsening as time ran on.

Ferdinand met the mole mascot, I drove the 98 miles back to the Midlands, where the soreness of my gum was barely bearable but the sausages and mash went down well enough. I was told this week about a group of Birmingham City fans being asked whether they were looking forward to perhaps being promoted this season through the play-offs, to which they seemed puzzled, replying that no, they were looking forward to playing Villa next season… 

We like the ambition there at Small Heath…  

And as one of the Waltons, Michael said his farewell to team-mate James Knight: “Goodnight Jim-Bob…”  

TEAMS:

BINFIELD: 

Charlie Lusty, Mark O’Connell, Jack Gibbs, Carl Withers, Jack Broome, Alex Luis (Capt), James Knight, Chris Dean, Liam Ferdinand, Ethan Jerome, Josh Howell.

SUBS:

Danny Horscroft, Aaron Rowland, Michael Walton, Jemel Johnson.

TUFFLEY ROVERS:

Phil Clarke, Harry Walker, Kieran Squires, Callum Preece, McCaulay Herbert, Marcus Foxwell, Ryan Dobbins, Warren Mann (Capt), Jordan Fletcher, Liam Wright, Brett James.

SUBS:

Tristan Haswell, Walter Greenwood, Ryan Williams, Ashley Davies.