The Mowdog On The Road...: KEYWORTH UNITED 0-3 EASTWOOD COMMUNITY FC: REPORT BY THE MOWDOG...

The Team Formerly Known As the Badgers Leave Keyworth Culled…

Keyworth United 0-3 Eastwood Community FC

The Badgers started this game well, passed the ball whenever possible and gave the home defence a torrid time on occasions. The pivot was the immovable frame of Jason Westwood, built like Doric column, who combined sheer physical strength with some good touches of the ball, whereas his foil was the sprightly, clever, innovative Tim Adcock. In attack, skipper Lee Bull was indeed bullish, whereas Shay Wiggins was always likely to do something unexpected. Visiting goalie Chris Camm was rarely troubled by the hosts, although replacement Scott Litchfield was off target for United from 6 yards with a second period header. Interestingly, Ed Balls the politician, was brought up in Keyworth, so maybe it’s not usual to teach kids to ‘ead balls there… A better showing after the break by United brought no reward, as their few shots flew well off target and it remained for off-the-boil Eastwood to hold what they had, despite two saves in quick succession from home goalie Darren Standage. Two of the three goals were delights to see and the other was a straightforward header but the right team won and the Badgers looked really useful at times.

"REMEMBER, NOBODY CAN IDENTIFY YOU BY YOUR NUMBERS..."

DAMP TOSS...

After home striker Jawanzer Grant, who fed on fewer morsels than the Long-Tailed Tits are offered in my neighbour’s garden, had tumbled when visiting goalie Chris Camm raced out to collect the ball and no penalty was given, an early left-side corner by the Badgers from David Worger almost fell against his colleague and central defender Adam Jackson but dropped straight to Standage. When a right-wing Worger corner was knocked away to the Eastwood left, Jordan Leeming crossed the ball but Bull’s head (isn’t that a pub’?) nodded it at a defender. Standage did well to run from goal and actually tackle an opponent on the 18 yard line, Bull I think, although those awful dark numbers on the Eastwood jerseys made it tough to identify players at times, especially with a 10, 11, 15, 16 and 17 on the pitch from the start. Those Badgers will do anything to avoid being spotted, then culled…

READY FOR HANDSHAKES IN THE DARKNESS...

An injury to home left-back Ant Birks held up play but he did return, although the guests continued to spoil to Keyworth party. The spirited Adcock fed Wiggins for a clipped effort at Standage, then finally the hosts were awarded a free-kick at inside-right, some 25 yards out, for a foul on the selfless Grant but Alex Clarson’s decent clipped shot dropped just too high. A strong run by Clarson ended with a good centre towards the far post but Callum Barratt’s angled shot rose much too high. Soon though, the visitors netted their first goal and not only was it well finished, it was created in a slick manner too.

Worger, in traffic, some 28 yards out, centrally, slipped the ball forward for Adcock, who wriggled into the penalty-box and his nutmeg of the tall, uncompromising home defender Adam Parkin actually struck the big man’s leg right into Adcock’s stride and he calmly sent a low shot past the advancing Standage into the bottom left corner of the net.

ADCOCK HAS NETTED...

0-1 TO EASTWOOD...

Westwood was spoken to, after a Worger corner was cleared then Wiggins fed Worger to his left and this time his 22 yard curling effort was superb tipped over the right angle of bar and upright by the alert Standage. Unfortunately for Keyworth, a recycled ball on the Eastwood left and a far post cross by Wiggins saw Bull force his frame between home defenders Birks and skipper Scott Wood to lean and send a header powerfully past Standage into the United net. 0-2 and really, Eastwood looked and actually were comfortable..

THE BADGERS ARE 0-2 AHEAD...

BULL IS THE SCORER...

Straight from the kick-off, eager home forward Ian Marley (please don’t call a son Jacob…) tried a shot from 40 yards, which wasn’t too far off target but the Badgers were closer to scoring when after a neat build up, Worger saw a shot deflected for a corner. Soon though, the inimitable Adcock wove some more magic, aided by Wiggins and the visitors led 0-3.

TIM ADCOCK ON THE RUN AGAIN...

Wiggins, on the right touchline slipped a pass back for Adcock, who returned the ball, Wiggins took on a defender and reached the byeline, shoved the ball back into Worger’s path and his low drive arrowed into the bottom left corner of the net. Clinical, crucial but for United, costly…

0-3 & THE GAME IS EFFECTIVELY OVER...

WORGER IS THE GOALSCORER...

Worger and Adcock combined and after the latter’s shot had been blocked, Wiggins drove a low effort just wide of the left upright from 20 yards but Birks couldn’t carry on for Keyworth and he was replaced by Harry Normington, which was interesting, because the match was being played in the Normanton area… A really clumsy, late and rough foul by Parkin on the running Adcock didn’t lead to a yellow card, surprisingly, then after poor Keyworth defending, Wiggins could find no power in front of goal, when a low cross from the left came to him just 4 yards out.

THE TIRELESS DAVID SMITH & BADGER ADCOCK...

The interval arrived, the locals, keeping in trim for the Keyworth December Turkey Trot half-marathon, made their ways to the refreshment area, I stayed under my umbrella, keeping the rain off my lens and the temperature dropped considerably. Certainly, the hosts raised their game after the break, whereas Eastwood looked a little restrained, possibly feeling untouchable at 0-3 but the first pair of United shots of the second period, by Marley and Danny Pass, passed well off target. Marley collided with the advancing Camm but his header bounced wide, then Adcock fed Bull for a great Badger chance but the solid forward pulled a low shot past the left stick.

A really late and rough tackle by Marley was not punished by a yellow card, but perhaps the referee feared nightmares of Matches Past and Matches to Be, if he cautioned a chap called Marley in the Match Present… The ensuing free-kick saw Wiggins’ shot fly off target. When Eastwood lost possession, Marley fed Barratt, whose shot was curled past the far right post, then Litchfield replaced the tiring Pass for United. Grant released Normington for a low shot from the right for the hosts but Camm fell to save easily, then the visitors, in a messy period by both teams, really ought to have scored again. An error in the home defence released Lewis Bentley, although even on the video clip, it’s difficult to identity him, but Standage not only blocked his low shot from inside-right but he also got up to prevent the well placed Wiggins from scoring, although the powerful forward barely struck the shot with any venom at all.

BOOGIE NIGHTS...

Keyworth’s big moment occurred next, for Litchfield, I’m sure someone called him ‘Tank’, who looked lively from the moment he appeared, missed a fine opportunity to pull back a goal. He muscled onto a deep right-flank centre but from 6 yards, thumped a downward header centimetres past the right post. The tiring but ever so influential Westwood then struck two shots from distance, perhaps knowing that he would also get a free-kick chance soon afterwards. The first was caught by Standage, the second deserves no comment at all but his free-kick dropped too late over the goal-frame and so he was replaced by Brad Scard, such a great name for a dashing character on a computer game.

WESTWARD TURNS AWAY FROM BARRATT...

Worger’s free-kick was caught by Standage, Adcock took a rest for the Badgers, Ellis Evans replaced him but the final period of the game was often littered with errors, although Parkin lit up the evening by punching the ball goalwards at a set-piece, for which he was cautioned. No yellow cards for two brutish tackles in the game but punching the ball was prohibited. The ball was yellow, so why weren’t Eastwood’s numbers yellow, or white?

CAUTION FOR PARKIN...

A deserved Badgers victory. Keyworth regained some pride after half-time, the rain ceased after an hour or so and via Adcock, there was a performance of some ability. Home defender Wood was busy throughout and did his best to stem the first-half Badger-rush and Standage did his job well in goals too. It must have been a frustrating evening for United’s Grant, for as my mate Colin observed, “He’s had no service all night…”

A long drive back to Solihull, cereal and then the day ended with a couple of hours of trawling through video clips…

It’s what I do…

TEAMS:

KEYWORTH UNITED:

Darren Standage, Ben Healey, Anthony Birks, David Smith, Adam Parkin, Scott Wood (Capt), Callum Barratt, Danny Pass, Jewanzer Grant, Ian Marley, Alex Clarson.

SUBS:

Harry Normington, Scott Litchfield, Ben Smith, Sam Ralph.

EASTWOOD COMMUNITY FC:

Chris Camm, Oil Ball, Jordan Leeming, Jason Westwood, Jak Kenworthy, Adam Jackson, Lee Bull (Capt), Tim Adcock, David Worger, Lewis Bentley, Shay Wiggins.

SUBS:

Ali Stayley, Ellis Evans, Brad Scard, Liam Buckley, James Hallam.