HIGHGATE UNITED 0-2 WESTFIELDS: LIGHT-HEARTED 'IDES OF MARCH' REPORT BY THE MOWDOG...

Highgate Stabbed In the Back By Westfields On the Ides of March…

Highgate United 0-2 Westfields

BRILLIANT ART-WORK WITH A WHITE-LINE MARKER...

On this day, the Ides of March, 2060 years ago, Julius Caesar was stabbed 23 times by men he knew well. Many knife wounds painfully struck his ribs, his woollen toga’s thick folds soaked up his blood and the first blow was made by the tribune Casca. There was no Caesar at cold, bleak Tythe Barn Lane but Westfields’ skipper Jamie Cuss could be renamed Cussca perhaps, for he struck the second blow and left United and their manager, with the fitting Roman surname of Pulisciano, rueing their errors and lack of incision on the night. Their deliveries from crosses and set-pieces were too often caught by visiting ‘keeper Jon Hopkins, whose handling was superb all evening. Otherwise, Westfields defender and opening goalscorer Phil Glover, his toga bloodied from a blow to the nose, led his troops to a stunning victory over the hosts. Westfields’ winger James Baldwin made some telling second period runs at home skipper Trevor Edwards and most of the Herefordshire threat stemmed from that flank, with unhurried midfielder Craig Jones (not the Bromsgrove Sporting skipper and boxer Craig Jones…) spraying the passes around. Highgate’s offensive passing wasn’t accurate much of the time and their finishing was off-colour. Home ‘keeper Brad Catlow made fine saves from Ben Miller and Westfields’ replacement Blaine Waugh but in the end, Hopkins’ handling and Glover’s bloody, plugged nose won out.  

HIGHGATE: KEEPING THE RED FLAG FLYING...

THE CENTURION TREVORUS EDWARDIUS...

TOSSUS... 

Westfields survived an early Gate free-kick but it was the guests who threatened first, when Catlow raced left to cover, only for Tom Bendall to beat him to the ball on the flank. The striker’s fine cross was superbly cleared by Gate’s Tom Lacey, as a couple of visiting forwards lurked like gossiping Tribunes in the Senate. Brendan Murphy, the Highgate forward, with his fair hair tied up, looked more like a Viking raider than a Roman Legionary but he headed an Edwards cross too high, before latching onto dozy Westfields defending and collapsing inside the penalty-box, like he’d fallen out of his chariot as Hopkins raced from his goal-line. No penalty was awarded but Highgate were displeased. When Aaron Brown, the tall Gate midfielder jumped to contest a free-kick from the left by Lacey, Hopkins leapt and collided with his opponent and again Brummie screams for a penalty were denied by the referee, whose morose attitude and frowning impressions of Mr Angry were prominent throughout. He angered the home dugout so badly and took so much verbal abuse that he snarled: “Stop bending my ear…” and stormed off like an agitated Roman Emperor penguin.

A WESTFIELDS STRIKER SPOTS A BADGER...

"EXCUSE ME, YOUNG FELLOW-ME-CHAP, DO TAKE YOUR LEAVE OF ME..." ACTUALLY THE REF TOLD AARON BROWN, RIGHT, TO CLEAR OFF...

Finally, with Highgate having patiently passed the ball across their back-line, without hurting Westfields, who constantly dropped just inside their own half, resulting in little space for home creators Brown and the hard-working James Cosgrove to utilise, the guests broke forward and a short pass from Baldwin to Jones ended with a poor shot dragged past the right upright from 19 yards. Another set-piece for Highgate led to a couple of back-headers by Brown and central defender Scott Turner but Hopkins had little difficulty in dropping on the ball like he was rescuing his cousin’s escaping hamster. Remarkably, despite more possession, the hosts succumbed to a second-phase goal, after Brown had hacked a free-kick clear. 

THE GLADIATOR PHILUS GLOVERIUS CHANGES HIS TUNIC, DUE TO THE REFEREE'S DISLIKE OF BLOODY SPOTS...

NOSE PLUGGED, RE-DRESSED, THE BIG MAN RE-ENTERS THE AMPHITHEATRE... 

The ball was swung back in from deep on the right by Jay Saunston and Glover, who had been penalised for bloodying his nose against the boot of an opponent (another strange piece of refereeing) and was now wearing number 17, leaned out a casual right leg and the ball drifted off his boot into the empty net, with Catlow helpless. The ball bounced against the back-wall inside the goal and at first it wasn’t clear whether the ball had gone wide but Glover’s Romanesque celebration, for all the world like a bleeding Gladiator taking the crowd’s plaudits having just felled a wild boar, confirmed the score.

0-1: A STRANGE GOAL BUT WELCOME FOR THE CIDER-DRINKERS...

Immediately, Fields’ Zac Sirrell, who was instrumental in the guests’ midfield trenches, leapt but the ball skidded from his head and allowed speedy home forward Connor Mooney a shot at goal from 22 yards but Hopkins palmed the ball over his right angle of bar and post. From another right-side corner, Hopkins did struggle to bat the ball away, like a Centurion whacking at an errant soldier with his vine-stick but there was Glover, taking the full force of Murphy’s volley, deep in the folds of his white tunic. Hopkins punched away another right-flank corner from his near post and as the half drew to a close, Murphy drove a shot into the turf and Hopkins gathered easily. 

LOOKS LIKE THERE'S BEEN A FIRE ALARM...

I needed hypocaust heating on the sideline during the break, a Legate’s cloak and maybe a Galea helmet but I was glad I’d left my Caligae at home, for sandals in this weather would have caused some chaffing… What did the Romans ever do for us? Apart from the roads, that is. And the heating… And public health… And the fresh water system… And sanitation, irrigation, medicine and public order…

The hosts began the second period with a chance to equalise and it was Brown’s head forward which offered the rather quiet Curvin Ellis a run at inside-left. Ellis had previously reached the left byeline and shoved a near post pass to Hopkins but on this occasion, as Hopkins advanced, Ellis chose to use his right boot, not his left and the ball looped wide like a hopefully thrown Pilum, the Roman javelin. Ellis was soon replaced by Lei Brown, recovering from injury, but still the hosts, for all their possession, were finding breaking down the Westfields defence tricky. Edwards’ cross was headed tamely to Hopkins by Aaron Brown but Westfields then made some headway with their first incisive break and Baldwin’s low pass at inside-right, bounced off the effective Cussca’s boot, straight to Catlow. A Baldwin effort was scooped over the home crossbar then Mooney did the same for the hosts, as Aaron Brown’s low delivery came to him.

THE TINKER, TAYLOR, THREATENS FOR THE GATE...

Edwards was being forced back by the runs of Baldwin and when the winger sped past the Highgate Centurion, following another neat Jones pass, Miller struck a fine shot at goal from the low centre, only for Catlow to dive low like, er, a cat and beat away the ball. Jones instigated another move towards the Westfield left and he reached Baldwin’s low pass, only to skewer another shot off target, meaning more slingshot practice for him in the fort on Thursday. Blaine Waugh replaced the foraging Bendall for the visitors but a run of three or four deliveries by Gate players flew into the safe gloves of Hopkins and the frustration mounted for the home team against their disciplined opponents.

LEI BROWN ON THE RUN...

JON HOPKINS: FINE HANDLING THROUGHOUT...

Jones fed the dangerous Miller for a curling shot, which flew wide of the Gate goal then Miller fed Baldwin on the left again and his near post pass was flicked goalwards by Waugh, only for Catlow to save with his footwear. Edwards probably felt like rapping a solid boot into the shin-guard greaves of Baldwin, for after Lei Brown’s low cross from the Gate left, sliced off Saunston’s boot and deflected off Mooney’s too high overhead attempt, Baldwin raced away along the left touchline again, onto another Jones pass but this time home defender James Loney made a critical block on Waugh’s shot at the near post. Cussca headed down into a crowded 6 yard area, following more good work by Jones and Baldwin, but soon, the game was won…

Saunston, a real character for the guests, all scowls, smirks and strength at right-back was so vociferous that I nearly ran onto the pitch to mark Dale Taylor on one occasion, at his orders. He was to set up goal two with a rush forward to take up possession after a left-side cross had drifted to the right-flank. He then took on Lacey, beat him to the byeline and crossed low for Cussca, the Roman assassin, whose right-foot shot hurt Gate like a Pugio to the breast. 0-2 and really, the hosts could not have been surprised. 

THE WESTFIELDS SENATORS SMUGGLE THE CENTURION JAMIUS CUSSCA FROM THE FORUM...

...FOR HE HAS ADDED GOAL 2...

Edwards lost possession to Baldwin, who shot low at Cat, er Catlow, then Scott Jackson replaced the tired but so effective Baldwin. A clever free-kick by Aaron Brown which freed Taylor on the left for Gate, led to a cross which was superbly caught by a harassed Hopkins, then Ellis Davey replaced the creative Jones. In the dying seconds, Lei Brown, frustrated, barged over visiting and solid left-back Kane Khaki (surely the wrong war gear for the Roman theme?) as Hopkins leapt spectacularly to clutch a left-side centre, leaving the ‘keeper badly winded and that was the final meaningful action.

THE DUGOUTS: FRUSTRATION FOR HIGHGATE, TENSION FOR WESTFIELDS...

BROWN & TAYLOR ABOUT TO TRY OUT A FREE-KICK MOVE...

THE WINDED HOPKINS HOPES THE REFEREE WILL BLOW FOR FULL-TIME.
HE DID.

Westfields defended like growling Legionaries with wafting Gladius short swords, warding Picts away from Hadrian’s Wall and they certainly deserved their hard-fought victory against their patient Highgate hosts, whose final deliveries were too often flawed. Philus Gloverius, alongside James Febery (did they name a month after him?) were immovable, Saunston and Khaki stubborn but it seemed that the tactics had been good throughout from the Tribune Sean Edwards, their manager. The guests washed themselves, the sweat and oil were scraped from their backs with Strigils but with other teams also winning, they were not catapulted up the league. In the mosaic that is non-league football, this was a good victory for Westfields and all that remains for Highgate is to say: 

“Beware the Ides of March…” 

HANDSHAKES...

...& VICTORY FOR THE GUESTS...

Me? I was really cold. I needed a hot drink. I grabbed my Stylus and began to write. I used to teach in role as the real Roman Centurion Petronius Fortunatus, who visited Britain twice but on this day it was Cussca who administered the final death throe… 

One account of Caesar’s death was written by Appian. Let’s hope that Yeovil manager Darren Way doesn’t choose that as a Christian name for his child…

MY VIEW...

TEAMS:

HIGHGATE UNITED:

Brad Catlow, Trevor Edwards (Centurion), Tom Lacey, James Loney, Scott Turner, Aaron Brown, Dale Taylor, James Cosgrove, Curvin Ellis, Connor Mooney, Brendan Murphy.

SUBS:

Lei Brown, Danny Rolfe, Brad Hayward, Declan Attenborrow.

WESTFIELDS:

Jon Hopkins, Jay Saunston, Kane Khaki, Philus Gloverius, James Febery, Zac Sirrell, Craig Jones, Jamie Cussca (Centurion), Tom Bendall, Ben Miller, James Baldwin.

SUBS:

Blaine Waugh, Scott Jackson, Ellis Davey, Ben Morrison, Matt Gwynne.