BOLEHALL SWIFTS 1-5 COVENTRY UNITED: light-hearted match report by THE MOWDOG...

Bolehall Swiftly Grounded As Coventry Wing It…

Bolehall Swifts 1-5 Coventry United

This proved to be a difficult 90 minutes for the youthful Swifts, who, despite swiftly equalising a very early United goal, found the overwhelming nature of their guests’ play too much to deal with. Josh O’Grady netted twice, struck the goal-frame twice and returned minds to the art of dribbling, reminiscent at times of Nottingham Forest’s John Robertson and from my point of view, Villa’s Lionel Martin. Replacement Leon ‘Ned’ Kelly slithered three times to miss low feeds after the break and in truth, the score could and should have been so much more demoralising for the hosts. A scuffle, certainly instigated by Jamie Coleman’s irritation at some harsh treatment dished out to Slalom-Man O’Grady, resulted in a second yellow card for Bolehall's Mac Simmons, although the rather chatty linesman on the cattle-shed side of the pitch thought that Simmons’ earlier first caution had been a little harsh. This same linesman later made an error when O’Grady ran clear, flagging Tricky offside, before immediately apologising to the winger, hoping for kindly acceptance but in the heat of a game, a player heading for a possible hat-trick was never likely to forgive the mistake, or even buy the official a sherry afterwards. Bolehall kept plugging away, Coventry kept squandering goal chances and my laptop keeps changing Bolehall to Molehill. But I will not make a mountain out of that… 

The toss happens...

I lived for two years in Glascote, off Marlborough Way, near Bolehall’s ground, from 1976-78, on the Lakeside estate, where the roads’ names were given the names of cars. Mine was 4 Riley and unbelievably, Riley cars were apparently made from 1899 in of all places, Coventry… Based on pedal-bike designs, the company was founded by the Riley family and Percy Riley, one of William’s three sons, produced a ‘tricar’ in 1904. So, for two reasons, Coventry United will be known as The Rileys for the purposes of this game…

A warm day, thunder rumbled about and a lightning start was seen at Rene Road, for an early right-side corner for the guests was taken short by O’Grady to Kiam Galdins, whose left-boot centre found the head of skipper Chris Cox, over home defender Ash Guest and the ball looped neatly into the Swifts’ net. Almost immediately, the hosts won a free-kick and Mac Simmons’ shot deflected off Cox for a right-wing corner. From the flag-kick, home skipper Reiss Sutton knocked an innocuous right-foot, 10 yard volley goalwards, one Riley turned his back, there was nobody guarding the near upright, several defenders and goalie Rich Morris turned to stone like they’d just gazed at Medusa and the ball bounced apologetically into the right corner of the net. Late arrivals had thus missed two goals.

0-1: Cox for The Rileys...

1-1: Sutton for Bolehall, which sounds like an announcement at a railway station...

Cox was marauding behind lone-striker Josh Blake, with Galdins and O’Grady, supported by full-backs Pierre Moudime and Ben Vallance, providing the width and the hosts were not to threaten again during the half, as The Rileys dominated, without really looking consistently incisive. The trickery of Muzzy Nduna was languishing on the bench, alongside experienced forward Kelly, also the cheek of the much sought-after Charlie Cook, plus new signing and goalscoring machine, Connoll Farrell, acquired this week from Coventry Copsewood. So options were there for manager Edwin ‘Starr’ Greaves. Home ‘keeper Mike Ojeil, who I saw play for Southam United as a 16 year-old, caught a lobbed Jamie Coleman header under his crossbar, O’Grady freed Cox into the right side of the 18 yard box but the skipper’s low delivery skidded across the face of goal, Blake headed Moudime’s deep centre back across goal and Sutton was forced to concede a corner with a sliced clearance and after a hard Moudime cross from the byeline had rapped the outside of the near upright, Cox was unable to hit the target with another header at the far stick from Vallance’s well-flighted centre.

The yellow is surely better, Bear?

Heads-down by Pierre Moudime, probably disguising a smile...

Ojeil must have begun to wonder where the next problem would arise from, for his defence was as stretched as Leon Kelly’s T-shirts at work, bought two sizes too small for his 37 year-old frame. Ojeil scooped Cox’s right-flank centre upwards and away with some difficulty then from the resulting corner, Callum Burgess’ stout header was well clawed out by Ojeil, the ball struck Galdins’ chest and the incident led to a melee and a chance for Blake, which he smuggled past the right post from a few yards. However, Cox’s flick-on soon allowed Blake to get clear of a culpable defender, veer left past the advancing Ojeil and strike a rising shot into the vacant Bolehall net and The Rileys were in the driving seat.

Blake has ratted goal 2 for The Rileys...

Morris spots a Pterodactyl behind the cowshed...

O’Grady’s short free-kick to Cox ended with a deflected 27 yard shot, then from an O’Grady corner on the right, Galdins, who played a full part for his team, rose at the far post and managed to nod the ball over the goal-line, with some suggestion of pushing in the jumping group, yet unseen and unpunished by the unmoved referee.

Mike Ojeil kicks in front of people dressed in a sober red, way different to Rich Morris' carnival outfit...

A thunderous look spreads across Jean Dakouri's face...

1-3 now: Galdins...

Ratty Blake asks Gift Mussa: "How long?"
Gift mimes a reply.

O’Grady’s next left-booted, right-wing centre found the stretching, slithering Galdins again, this time beyond the far post but the midfielder’s left boot sent a decent shot against the outside of the vertical pole. O’Grady’s next delivery drifted harmlessly wide and The Rileys’ resident Philosopher, goalkeeper Aristotle Morris was heard to comment: “I can’t believe he shot from there…” Morris, when physically idle, tends to model garish clothing, philosophise loudly, or suddenly laugh a lot, so it’s worth keeping an ear cocked, if you excuse the expression… Half-time was signalled, a Coventry ball became jammed in a blackberry bush, causing scratches to my ankle in a failed retrieval attempt and Charlie Cook chucked a plank upon the bushes to affect a rescue but all to no avail…

Blake steps back from Jean 'Iron Arse' Dakouri...

O'Grady slithers past defenders like a snake through a shower curtain...

Troy Edie’s spoiled number 10 shirt had already been replaced on his back by a number 17 in the first period, following an injury but at the break, Bolehall introduced lively left-sider Marvis Mavitidi into the fray, as well as Wisdom Machangani, who would offer thought as well as more ability to the team. Coleman’s obstruction on the previously ineffective Vagnol Kediambiko prompted a fine comment from a Swift: “That’s a defo yellow, man…” It wasn’t. So, on the break after the Swifts’ free-kick, Blake fastened onto Callum Burgess’ long ball at inside-left, unselfishly squared the ball past the helpless Ojeil into the 6 yard box and there was O’Grady to side-foot the ball into the unguarded net. 1-4 and a comeback was as unrealistic as Pterodactyls and Pteranodons filling the Tamworth sky before the rain started falling again. 

Blake has assisted O'Grady: 1-4...

Ned Kelly replaces Captain Cox...

Cox was replaced by Leon Kelly, surely reducing the skipper’s chances of an unofficial MVP accolade on the day, before Kelly nodded a Vallance cross on for Burgess of all people to collect and reach the right byeline; he crossed low, causing some genuine chaos in the home defence. O’Grady then made a clever run into the right side of the penalty-box, before yet another sortie soon afterwards ended with a desperate clearing header by Swifts’ bearded battler Nick Hadley. With The Rileys in overdrive, after O’Grady’s next meandering manoeuvre had been stopped illegally and his quick free-kick had struck a Swift’s wing, the referee made the winger retake the set-piece when he, as an official, was ready; this time, O’Grady clipped, curled and cushioned a fine 20 yard effort inside the right upright past the helpless, diving Ojeil.

O'Grady's free-kick has added a 5th for The Rileys...

Gift and Tricky...

1-5...

O’Grady was working the right-flank for The Rileys like a farmer smoothly harvesting corn and his next dribble to the right byeline ended with a clever clipped left-booter, which bounced off the far angle of bar and upright, although Blake looked surprised that Tricky hadn’t returned the earlier compliment and crossed to him. But did he grumble? Probably. Ojeil did manage to plunge right and push behind a fine 25 yard drive by the rampaging Vallance, but soon, Cook replaced Blake and then Dakouri, who grew into this game, was crashed to the ground by home right-back Ash Guest, who was immediately cautioned and then spent the remaining time debating the current political climate with Cook. Or maybe they just didn’t like each other… Thunder was both in the air and in Dakouri’s eyes: not a man to assault… His buttocks would no doubt claim retribution later in the match…

Having played earlier with a badger hand-puppet, Ned Kelly tries out a string-puppet called Jean Dakouri... 

Leon Kelly: better aerially on the day...

Galdins then made way for Connoll Farrell, who made an immediate impact by running on the left and crossing low for Kelly to convert. Only Ned didn’t. He missed the ball completely with a dramatic sliding action. A stroked, long cross-field pass from O’Grady towards Farrell ended with another low delivery from the lively forward but neither Cook, nor Kelly could latch onto the ball. The ease with which The Rileys were penetrating Bolehall with quick deliveries forward must have alarmed the Bolehall management and ‘keeper Ojeil alike but when Kelly was fed by O’Grady and couldn’t quite capitalise, with both Cook and Farrell in better positions, it really did seem only a matter of a few minutes before goal six arrived. It never did.

New signing Connoll Farrell...

Moudime marks Mavitidi...

Ojeil caught the impressively involved Moudime’s audacious 30 yard chip under his crossbar, then fine work by the buttock-barging Dakouri ended with a pass left to Cook but his low delivery evaded Kelly’s slide and the Beast missed the ball again. After Mavitidi had launched a cloud-shot from 30 yards, Kelly found himself offside but O’Grady wasn’t and he got clear at inside-right, only for the linesman to flag. Sadly, the referee really ought to have seen that O’Grady was the one moving onto the through-pass from a deeper and onside position, but amazingly he didn’t and simply accepted the errant assistant’s decision. All wrong.

Ned probably performs better wearing his helmet...

Ned's words of wisdom: "No low crosses thanks, mate..."

Finally, Morris caught a 25 yard effort from Sutton, following some reasonable and swift Swift passing but at the other end, Kelly wasn’t able to get to a near post centre and Farrell was hassled off the ball, following another fine O’Grady dribble. Cook thought he’d been tripped in the penalty-area, as he attempted to complete a one-two with O’Grady, before Mavitidi and Machangani instigated a little, if inconsequential offense for Swifts, only for the visitors to break clear on the left again through Cook. The confident forward chose not to feed Kelly inside him (why, one wonders..?) but drove a right-booter wide of the near upright from a clear position instead. Leo Thompson rolled the ball into the Coventry net from an offside position, following a pass by Machangani and a smart left-side delivery by Hadley, before O’Grady was fouled and the playground squabble began. Mitchell Ball was very incensed by Coleman’s protection racket, Mac Simmons was shown a second yellow card and Coleman was cautioned too. Simmons was a very angry fellow as he tugged off his shirt and he took some verbal comments from the visiting bench as he exited. Morris had also descended onto the scene like a bear with a sore tooth, possibly just to become involved in something and get his name into all the match reports. That worked, then…

Sutton tells Cook: "If I were a teacher, I'd hope you weren't in my class..."
Cook replies: "Too right..."

Fight scene...

Old Thunder-Eyes Dakouri is a peacemaker...
Really..?

Rich Morris declares: "Touch my pink one and you'll have my auntie to contend with..."

The Bear Grills and Growls...

Blake gets ratty with the departing Simmons' lack of arm-ink...

A late right-wing centre from the often unstoppable O’Grady was cleared with some awkwardness by Bolehall and the referee called an end to the proceedings.

Applause for the travelling fans...

Reading the above, Gift Mussa’s name is absent in dispatches; this amazes me, for Mussa to endure a quiet, if efficient game is a rarity, possibly because he was musing on his written summary for the website. Reporters do this. His preoccupation with getting his homework in on time must have affected his contribution a little on the pitch… Gosh, these artistic types… 

Bolehall attempted to stay in this game for a period in the opening half but in reality, they were well beaten, despite the rather sloppy latter stages displayed by their guests, during which clever creativity was nullified by some poor finishing. Credit to Coleman for United, who commanded like a general manager at the Riley car-plant, looking unruffled, daring attackers to attempt to get the better of him, as he sat alongside the other mean hombre, Burgess. Cook and Farrell will surely look to start in the near future, for their pace and finishing ability at this level should be lethal and Nduna will look to feature too. Starters Martin Hutchcox and Ross Briscoe were unavailable, so The Rileys have selection issues for the Atherstone game on Tuesday. Bolehall? Must hang onto their principles, I guess and with the efforts of Sutton and Ball to inspire, things will improve, surely…

I picked up the nickname of ‘Pixie’ one day, leaving Highfield Road (after watching Villa beat the Sky Blues there, as usually happened in those days) due to me lifting a hood over my head to avoid light rain and one of my two grown nephews from behind me bellowed: “He looks like a little pixie…” It stuck. Riley actually produced a car called the ‘Elf’; I did NOT buy one…

That’s NOT what I do…

TEAMS:

BOLEHALL SWIFTS:

Mike Ojeil, Ash Guest, Elliot Baker, Nick Hadley, Mitchell Ball, Reiss Sutton (Capt), Leo Thompson, Dan Sheppard, Vagnol Kediambiko, Troy Edie, Mac Simmons.

SUBS:

Marvis Mavitidi, Nahija Simmons-Wilson, Wisdom Machangani, Jarol Blake, Luke Thompson (gk).

COVENTRY UNITED:

Rich Morris, Pierre Moudime, Ben Vallance, Gift Mussa, Jamie Coleman, Callum Burgess, Josh O’Grady, Jean Dakouri, Josh Blake, Chris Cox (Capt), Kiam Galdins.

SUBS:

Muzzy Nduna, Charlie Cook, Leon Kelly, Connoll Farrell, Edmund Okolie.