LOUGHBOROUGH UNIVERSITY 0-0 COVENTRY UNITED: light-hearted match report by THE MOWDOG...

Graduating Nduna Achieves Fifty Degrees @ Loughborough Uni’…

Loughborough University 0-0 Coventry United

Muzzy Nduna’s late penalty miss, which was more like an extra point made by the Kansas City Chiefs’ kicker, rising to an angle of about fifty degrees, sealed parity between two teams which attempted to play neat football on a lovely surface, near the beach volleyball courts at Loughborough University. Thomas Cook organised the first ever package tour for a temperance group to Loughborough in 1841 but nowadays, Thomas Cook sponsors the weather on ITV’s Central News, which seems bizarre. However, Coventry had travelled probably with no intention of being temperate at all, but more likely eager to swallow a few pints of local ale after the game, yet Coventry’s ‘Volgas’, once known as The Cagemen, who wore white on this occasion, were still without skipper Chris Cox, also Pierre Moudime, Jamie Coleman, Leon Kelly, Charlie Cook, Ross Briscoe, Ben Tennant, Sean Kavanagh and of course in-form defender Jayden Rickhuss, who turned up for the new term at Uni but then took his leave… The Uni were trying out new guys too, so the workout was useful for both squads. ‘Volgas’? Well, Coventry was one of the world’s first two twinned cities ever, which happened during World War 2; its partner was Stalingrad, now called Volgograd, on the River Volga, so: United today would be The Volgas… 

Beach volleyball courts allow a peep at the dugouts...

The skippers toss...

Jayden goes home on leave...

The list of Uni players’ names was kindly given to me after the game had finished and any errors in the report below are simply because I was unable to decipher one or two of the surnames, for which I apologise humbly…

Rich Morris, in the Volgas’ goal made a smart early save, when he leapt high to turn Drew Bradley’s rising shot from inside-left over his crossbar but it was immediately clear that the students were strong in a kind of dog-leg line. Central defender and rugged, rangy rock Danny Brennan was at the base, Max Herbert (?), number 8, was the playmaker in central midfield and Alun Webb was the speedy right-sided attacker, who would experience an almighty and competitive struggle throughout the game with Coventry’s left-sided central defender Ben Vallance, who played superbly. Josh O’Grady was The Volgas’ go-to man in the opening half, with some dribbles on the right flank but home left-back Jordan Marlow (?) eventually managed to stem the danger more, especially after the break. O’Grady’s first free-kick shot was badly off target but a second set-piece was flicked on by Uni’s ‘George’, number 6, Kiam Galdins nodded the ball back inside and Josh Blake, all tan and very intemperate, leapt to volley spectacularly over the crossbar from 3 yards, despite claiming a corner.

Creative number 8, Herbert (?)...

More danger was evident on the Uni right soon afterwards and again Bradley was unmarked at inside-left but the forward’s low drive from 8 yards was brilliantly parried by the reactions of Morris. Galdins drove too high from Nduna’s feed at the opposite end, then Blake passed short to O’Grady but he too, from 18 yards, shot over the crossbar, before a high boot by Herbert might have caught the elusive Nduna in the face and he received treatment, allowing the other combatants to take in liquids. Pre-arranged, or what? Nduna then fastened onto a rare lump forward from his defence and scrapped into a shooting position, inside-left but with ‘keeper Don Vita beginning an advance, Nduna’s low shot rolled wide of the far post, with no uneven surface to blame. Half-time was signalled and the spectators could reflect upon a lot of passing from both teams but although Jean Dakouri wasn’t too prominent for The Volgas, Gift Mussa had been and his strength, confidence, ball retention and much of his passing had been admirable. Brennan for the Uni and Vallance for The Volgas had been quite immense thus far but few goal chances had been created, in truth and the game was finely balanced.

Almost like a boot advert...

Nduna is not happy...

Nduna is nearly better...

Nduna just needed a drink...

Replacements for the student team were possible and evident but The Volgas had only two tributaries to engage: Hosein Khorrami and Wendel Moyo, who would both feature during the second period. Another O’Grady free-kick missed the target again, this time high and right of the goal-frame, then another free-kick by the same player, taken short, failed miserably, as it was deflected by opposition players and almost led to a Uni goal, which Morris was vociferously angry about afterwards. Luckily for Coventry, Uni’s 17 turned onto number 14’s right-side delivery past the slithering Martin Hutchcox but wasted his 15 yard shot by blazing it way too high. A superb switch-pass by Vallance, deep left to the overlapping Callum Burgess on the United right, led to an angled volley by the right-back but although the effort appeared to be drifting past the near post, Vito dived left to palm it away for a corner anyway. The best Uni chance came when Bradley’s fine low cross from the left was perfect for Webb to run onto and convert at the far upright but somehow he steered his shot past the left stick, with Morris smiling behind his chin growth.

The Volgas take caviar at half-time...

The students @ recess...

Josh O'Grady, fresh from a conversation about hand puppets with the Chairman's daughter.
I kid you not...

Nkosi Mzungwana, at left-back for The Volgas, was using his pace going forward more during the second-half and when Nduna took over possession, he shrugged off Brennan, who was clutching his shirt, Blake shunted the ball right to O’Grady but the winger’s delivery soared beyond everyone. Moyo’s run and Galdins’ centre allowed a chance for Dakouri, whose wild shot was wayward, Vito was quickly off his goal-line to sprawl and beat Nduna to a through-ball and from a Moyo centre, Blake was adjudged, maybe harshly, to have baulked Vito in a jump, with Blake again feeling that the officials were jealous of his tan and unwilling to give him the benefit of any doubt. Mzungwana blocked a Webb shot, Moyo drove off target for The Volgas, then O’Grady fell under number 12’s challenge, rather like a Kansas City Chiefs running-back being upended on a run to the end-line and he earned his team a late spot-kick. Nduna somehow though, on a flat surface, dug under the ball and skied his shot, which dropped onto the grass at the feet of the trees way back behind the goal, disturbing the midges. As the game petered out, a last chance was scorned twice by Webb, with Morris saving a low but not hard shot with a foot then falling down in front of his goal-line to grasp a second weakly struck effort by the pacy striker. 

O'Grady aims wide.
He was successful too...

The Chairman is unaware that Russian fans should stand with their arms folded, ready to dance like Cossacks when the team scores...

A draw was probably a good result for both teams, although it was said afterwards that Coventry were tired during the second period, probably due to the lack of replacements on view but Mussa had continued to dominate midfield for The Volgas until the end, Vallance had remained poised, competent and had displayed fine anticipation until the finish for his team, although Hutchcox wasn’t moving that freely near the final whistle alongside him. Khorrami, in a central midfield role, looked neat during his brief appearance, attempting to prompt smartly and he was obviously happier not to be performing as an attacker. 17 for Uni was eager, if a little loose with his control on offense but Webb’s pace was a threat, with Josh Hill ably supporting Herbert in midfield and number 14 contributing consistently too. Passing had been the order of the day for both teams and despite the lack of thrills, it was satisfying to see a good deal of possession and movement, creativity and clever touches from a number of players on view.

Muzzy and Gift haunt Uni...

Jean Dakouri is ready for a break in Dubai...
Even has the gold tooth...

Muzzy Nduna takes friendly banter for achieving his fifty degree angled penalty...

I drove south to Solihull, eggs and chips (what else?) were galloped down but temperance was retained, as a strong coffee washed down the strawberries and ice-cream… The Volgas? They probably supped Okroshka and Pirog, whilst swigging vodka in abundance… 

It’s what they do…   

SQUADS:

LOUGHBOROUGH UNI:

Don Vito, Tom Rankin, Jordan Marlow, Josh Hill, Danny Brennan, George ?, Drew Bradley, Max Herbert, Tom Barnes (?), Miles Wangford (?), AlunWebb, ‘Kumbrai’? Marcus B…? Charlie Musslewhyte, Jack Allerton, James Dalton.

COVENTRY UNITED:

Rich Morris, Callum Burgess, Nkosi Mzungwana, Jean Dakouri, Martin Hutchcox, Ben Vallance, Josh O’Grady, Josh Blake, Muzzy Nduna, Kiam Galdins, Wendel Moyo, Hosein Khorrami.