AMBUSHING GRANDMA...

Ambushing Grandma

Eyes glued,

Meanings misconstrued.

Lariat was hastily covered 

By the trail dust;

Taut, one end attached

To a sturdy bush,

The other held nervously

By the hunted ambusher, perspiring

With such anticipation:

And thus my plan was hatched…

Lips smiled,

Reality defiled.

Lasso was hastily yanked

By the anxious prey;

Tight, rope was raised

To trip the mounts

Of the riding predators,

By a jubilant cowboy, hollerin’

With such satisfaction:

And thus my mind was crazed…

Heart skipped,

Sanity dipped.

String was carefully tied

By the small child,

Timid, yet determined,

To a chair leg

And gripped in the kitchen, hidden

By a single step down, hovering 

With such trepidation:

And thus my childhood sinned…

Mind wept,

Woefully inept.

Trick hopelessly exposed,

By even my Nan;

Tepid, unemotional, even sad,

To expose self-pity.

The ruse tumbled, she hesitated and

By jove, her anger rose, simmering, 

With such realisation:

And thus, my fate, “Wait ‘til I tell your Dad…”

Pete Ray

AH, THE LEFT-HAND GUN...

Saw this on a ‘Western’ show, where a cowboy on a horse was being chased by ‘baddies’…

WAS TOLD TO HOLD THE GUN IN MY RIGHT HAND FOR THE PICTURE...
THANKS, DAD...

He then suddenly stopped beyond a bend, tied one end of his rope around a sturdy bush, laid the main section across the trail and hastily covered it with dust. 

NO BATHROOM IN THAT HOUSE...

He then hid behind the bush awaiting his pursuers. 

THE AMBUSHED NAN IS ON THE RIGHT...

He yanked the rope taut as they were almost upon him, tripping the unfortunate horses and hastening the villains’ demise.

SHE MUST HAVE AMBUSHED ME, THIS TIME...

I tried it on Nan…

GOOD, MOST OF THE TIME...

And failed.

OUTSIDE THAT HOUSE IN BIRMINGHAM...

She told my dad.

I was berated and then harshly smacked.