COVID-19: UPDATE 5 FROM SOLIHULL...

Covid-19: Thursday Update From Solihull…

So, the crisis worsens but still folks are out and about in their cars, though this morning during a walk in Earlswood, which included a stretch of canal, I noticed that on three separate buses, I saw only one passenger. Along the canal there were a few folks exercising , some with dogs and we climbed the banks to allow all of them to get past with metres to spare. Nobody waited to give us free passage, with was interesting because it does appear that selfishness is the new thoughtfulness these days…

Hair, ah, yes, hair… Before the Covid-19 crisis brought ‘normal’ life to a shuddering detour, I had been having my hair cut shorter than ever before, involving a salon in Knowle and a really good hairdresser. Since then of course, my hair has begun to grow again and by May, I may have to engineer thin dreadlocks at back and sides, which might also mean a return to listening to Brewer and Shipley music from the 1970s, especially the famous single ‘One Toke Over The Line’. Enough said… 

So, it was decided that I should buy some clippers of my own online… A great idea but unbelievably, none were available, all being sold out, stockpiled, snatched. I couldn’t believe it. I’ll just become a hippy, I reckon… 

USUALLY BUSY WITH DOG WALKERS, SCHOOL PUPILS, ETC...

However, instead of walking each day, I had decided to cycle again and so I ventured into the garage last Sunday to check on the state of my bike which I hadn’t been out on for a couple of years, at least. It looked fine when wiped cleaner, the tyres were pumped up and they remained so when I checked them on the following day. The oiling of any moving parts seemed to have been a success too. Thus on Monday morning, I set out for a ride…

I never take the bike out of 6th and top gear anyway and so the going was gruelling up the various inclines but I somehow managed to negotiate the lanes around Earlswood and Wood End, near Tanworth-in-Arden without stopping or changing from that gear. I cycled around 13 miles in the end and felt like I had achieved something, yet once again the considerable number of vehicles out and about surprised me.

Since then though, saddle-soreness has wreaked havoc with my arse, making sitting on the toilet something of a trial, despite the fact that my cycling shorts were well padded, making walking more of a waddle, rather like a particularly obese mallard does. Resembling a garment made for the prevention of incontinence, I had strutted round the kitchen like a child wearing an industrial nappy, before loading my bulk onto the saddle. 

However, the walk I made on Tuesday began unpleasantly, for just round the corner, an old bloke was stumbling along, slightly bent at the shoulders, a cigarette pinned between fingers. Suddenly, he stopped, leaned over further and amazingly began to dribble spit out of his mouth onto the pavement. This took around 30 seconds and as he flobbed, a delivery driver’s van pulled up in front of him and the driver’s expression was priceless.

As I then walked towards the Stratford Road, I needed to negotiate a service road, where a small vehicle was parked. As I approached it, an old woman exited One Stop with a newspaper and scuttled to the car to drive home. Quite clearly this was a necessity, or maybe it was food for thought… 

Social distancing was my thing on Wednesday morning but when I passed the local shop, a woman exited (carrying her newspaper, another necessity…) and bent to untie her dog from its mooring post. I walked quickly on but it soon became clear that she was going in the same direction and was catching me up. I decided to cross the road and turn left at a junction, whereupon she, er, crossed the road and, er, turned left at the junction, gradually catching me. 

Very quickly there was a roundabout, so I chose a right turn but incredibly, she aped my move and I was forced to cross to the other sidewalk. I was getting irritated by this time but she was soon almost opposite me and I knew I needed to cross the road again, so I could turn right into Bills Lane. I accelerated. I glanced across at her moments later but realised that she had stopped, both to tie a shoelace and to scrape up her dog’s shit. I was so relieved and quickly made a diagonal crossing of the road then turned right. She would turn left. Social distancing is becoming a real challenge…

On the Stratford Road I spotted a chap I recognised, wearing dark glasses and carrying his renowned haversack, for this guy is a regular in Solihull’s Pret. He takes a table for four and reads newspapers, spending a good deal of time wiling away the day. He can often be spotted in other coffee shops too but I wondered why he was waiting for a bus into Solihull’s town centre outside the Plume of Feathers pub, when the rule is to stay at home, unless exercising… He then walked into the road, like he was on a suicide mission, just to see further along the road for an approaching bus. A necessity, it appeared…

So the weekend nears, as the lockdown intensifies…

Further updates will be posted at themowdog.blogspot.co.uk 

It’s what I do…  

AS GOLLUM, BUT MY HAIR WASN'T THIS SHORT REALLY...

AS AN EGYPTIAN SCRIBE.
HAIR MIGHT BE THIS LONG SOON...