The Mowdog On The Road...: 'KICK IT IN THE HEAD': WHY I BECAME FOND OF BADGERS...

Monday, 13 April 2020

'KICK IT IN THE HEAD': WHY I BECAME FOND OF BADGERS...

Prologue:

My son had asked me whether I had ever been bothered by a dog whilst jogging and I told him that a vile creature had raced across a road at me a few years before. It had been me, or it; my thigh, or its jaw.

My left-footed, venomous volley hit home and the mutt flew, twisted and landed in the road, before wailing as it disappeared. A chap working in his garden applauded me, saying that the dog was always chasing people, barking at them and biting.

I felt fine about that.

Weeks later, I had a dream...

Kick It In the Head...

I puzzled: where had I parked my car?

Panic set in but I couldn’t remember,

Or even pinpoint where we actually were,

On that damp, dank afternoon in December.

My son, also damp and dank, added to by cloying mud,

Became incredulous and tarried behind,

As I wrenched my head to right and left

But that vehicle I simply couldn’t find.

The lad stood dripping from rain and slime,

After his latest hated rugby game;

School-bag hanging on drooping shoulder,

For his demise, I would be taking the blame...

The pavement was separated from the road,

By a grass verge and a small, green hedge

But when I turned again to cajole the laggard,

My teeth were suddenly on edge...

From a break in the privet, the animal sprang

At my son’s socks-down, left thigh;

A badger, brawny, with awesome power attacked,

Its jaw wide, as its haunches flew by.

My reaction was to yell at the startled lad,

As I awoke and sat bolt upright in bed,

Emerging from the awful nightmare, bellowing:

“KICK IT IN THE HEAD...”

HMM...

Pete Ray

The above story is true, I have become too fond of badgers and my hand-puppet The Bodging travels most places with me. He was particularly pleased to visit the home of The Badgers FC, to watch them lose to the higher ranked Littleton in a Charity Cup competition.